Four years after her death, Shirley sent more than just the truth
Author | Hebai
Edited by Yan Fei
题图 | 《4：Clean Island》
On November 13, South Korean artist Choi Xueli's posthumous film "Persona: SULLI" was released on Netflix, including the short film "4: Clean Island" and the documentary "To the Truth".
The former, directed by Huang Xiuya and written by Kim Zhizhi, tells the story of a young girl named "4" who goes to immigrate to Holy Island and "confesses" her sins in the immigration bureau. The latter, filmed by director Jung Yun-seok, presents Shirley's inner world in a more direct interview format.
Before the release of the whole network, the film was screened at the 28th Busan Film Festival in October this year. Some people believe that the work is a consumption of the deceased. In this regard, Jung Yun-seok, director of the documentary "To the Truth", said in a public interview: "When the protagonist is interviewed in the film, he is based on the principle of openness. The deceased talked about a lot of topics that are very important to our society. ”
PRODUCTION COMPANY MYSTIC STORY SAID: "WE WANT TO TELL EVERYONE THROUGH CHOI'S LAST WORK THAT SHE IS REALLY A GOOD ACTRESS AND A GOOD PERSON. ”
From becoming famous as an idol of "commodity attributes" at a young age, to awakening her self-consciousness and beginning to constantly search for her true self, she has endured internal struggles and criticism from the outside world for a long time, but still strives to maintain warmth and kindness to the world.
"To the Truth" poster. (Photo/"To the Truth")
Juvenile Adult Name
"I started my job as an artist early, and no one thought I was young. ”
At the age of 11, Shirley entered SM Entertainment as a trainee, and at the age of 15, she debuted as a member of the girl group f(x). A teenager who has not been deeply involved in the world was thrown into the big dye vat of the entertainment industry early.
In the short film "4: Clean Island", Shirley plays the girl "4", whose name comes from the blood mark on her cheek. The act of naming the girl with a number makes her feel like a "pig dragged out of a slaughterhouse". And that blood mark was left by her mother who was sitting in the driver's seat when she was in a car accident when she was young.
A girl whose cheek was painted with a blood mark "4" on her mother's cheek. (Photo/"4: Clean Island")
This image is also reflected in reality. The absence of her father made Shirley project almost all of her emotional needs onto her mother, but her mother did not give her the company she expected, but sent her to the company early. When she was young, she didn't know how to deal with this anxiety, and she said in the documentary that she "wanted to be a doll like her mother and be able to accompany her all the time."
"Since I started as an artist, I have heard the most sentence - you are a commodity. Since then, she has been constantly worried about losing her value as a commodity. Under the company's packaging and control, she feels like a puppet doll, and no one cares if she's tired or not.
"I'm alive because I can't die, or is it simply because I'm alive?" lines in "4: Clean Island" may also be her confusion.
Sometimes she "hates" being pretty. "As long as you're pretty, you don't need to know anything else. She felt that during her time as a "commodity", she would be bound by the concept of so-called "beauty". She is in an environment that does not require her to have what she calls "independent self-awareness".
Shirley expresses her "pretty" opinion in the documentary. (Photo/"To the Truth")
She believes that idols are workers and their labor rights need to be protected, but "I can't express my opinions, I don't know how to speak out." Even if she expressed her dissatisfaction, no one responded to her.
When asked how to deal with this kind of high pressure, she lowered her head and was silent for a long time, without answering directly, only saying: "I will constantly blame myself." Constant self-blame and self-deprecation became the only means by which she regained a sense of control in times of pain.
Before her death, she was silent crying, sucking her fingers during the live broadcast in the middle of the night, and her emotions were unusually broken. She also posted photos of her palms and wrists covered with bandages on Instagram, and was suspected of suicide attempt by netizens, and the response of the agency at that time was "Shirley was accidentally injured by herself".
To this day, controversies surrounding the East Asian entertainment industry still exist, and issues such as the young age of trainees and the inability to protect labor rights and interests have not been resolved. And the glamorous image and high salary income that only belong to the top artists still attract a large number of young trainees to join the entertainment industry.
It's Shirley, and it's Choi Truth
At the age of 20, Shirley left her mother's grasp and began to search for answers on her own. She mentioned in the interview that she made two decisions at that time: one was to find a psychotherapist for herself, and the other was to fall in love with what seemed deviant at the time.
Before being exposed to love, Shirley often showed her pure image. After she generously admitted that she was in love, she frequently posted photos with her boyfriend on social platforms, and also received the blessings of some netizens.
But as a profession that is extremely dependent on the fan base, whether idols have the "right to love" has always been a controversial topic. Shirley's admitting that she is in love as an "idol" will undoubtedly seriously hurt the emotions of her fans, and a large number of fans scolded her for being "disqualified as an idol".
In the documentary, Shirley believes that "being famous is a bubble". (Photo/"To the Truth")
"I had a health check-up because I was unwell, but I didn't find out why. The doctor advised me, 'I only have a gynecological examination left, do you want to try it?' and went to the obstetrics and gynecology department. Even though Shirley explained afterwards, after being photographed when she entered the obstetrics and gynecology department, speculation about whether she was pregnant and had a miscarriage was out of control.
These suspicions tormented Shirley. In this regard, the brokerage company filed a lawsuit against the earliest rumor-bearer and related personnel on the grounds of suspected network damages. However, after receiving an apology from the critics, she chose to give up the prosecution.
In "Night of Bad Reviews", she mentioned that when she learned that the person was a student of the same age as her, she decided to choose forgiveness because she considered that suing would leave the other party with a criminal record and affect her future life.
But giving up the lawsuit doesn't mean she's relieved. In an interview with To the Truth, she said, "I still felt hurt when I learned that she was deeply apologetic." If she hadn't resorted to the law, she might not have waited to apologize.
To add insult to injury, her mother did not side with her and not only strongly opposed her relationship with her boyfriend, but also demanded bank and credit cards from her, which further strained the relationship. Eventually, Shirley and her mother severed their mother-daughter relationship.
"Love is not the most important thing in the world. Shirley said in an interview. Once, like her mother, she valued "love" more than anything else, but now she doesn't feel that way anymore. Perhaps since then, she has turned her gaze to herself.
In the documentary, Shirley believes that "love is not the most important thing in life". (Photo/"To the Truth")
She began posting her paintings on social networking sites, starring in films she admired, and making some feminist remarks on shows. However, the outside world does not seem to tolerate her "independent thinking", and the bad comments pour into her.
"The first time I thought for myself, expressing how painful I was, all the burden on my shoulders [appeared]. She likened her situation to the dilemma in the movie "The Matrix" - whether to take a step back and return to the illusory dream of the original "idol world", or to face reality further and continue to find an independent self?
"4: Clean Island" 4 in the struggle and awakening. (Photo/"4: Clean Island")
Remembering Shirley is for a better world
In the film, Shirley mentions that when she starred in the movie "The Punching Girl", the director asked her if she could stay unsmiling for a minute, which she found difficult to do. Perhaps the smile itself was also the mask she wore in the past.
Shirley believes that the name of the mask is "Resolute". But then she discovered that "once I accept my vulnerability, I may become stronger". She decided not to make bad comments in the accident world and to do what she thought was meaningful.
She once posted a photo of her life of "No Bra" on her social account, but she was regarded by netizens as a manifestation of "Guan Chong" (a person who uses various methods to gain attention) and "mental abnormality". In this regard, she responded in "Night of Bad Reviews" that it is personal freedom to wear a bra or not, and she is just because it is more natural and comfortable. She hopes to break the prejudice and mindset of the public, and arouse everyone's attention to women's health.
"We need more women's voices. "She has mentioned feminism in public more than once. In "To the Truth", she also resolutely opposes gender stereotypes and discipline of women, and opposes many "oughts" imposed on women.
In the documentary, Shirley expresses her opposition to many "shouldn'ts". (Photo/"To the Truth")
Shirley has been a member of the WeAJa Charity Sharing Charity Sale since 2010. She will prepare special gifts for the audience at personal fan meetings - two boxes of environmentally friendly organic sanitary napkins, publicly express her support for the abolition of abortion in South Korea on social platforms, and put forward the idea of "rejecting the shame of menstruation" in the preparation of her personal reality show "Truth Store"...
Her actions may not have been understood by the public at the time. But now, Shirley's ideas are quite avant-garde, and many feminists say they were inspired by her.
Shirley's gift to fans at a personal fan meeting. (Photo/Weibo@Peachjinri_)
After her death, some netizens posted "gifts from heaven" on the Internet - sanitary napkins, sanitary underwear, red bean hot compresses and sex education manuals, all of which came from the sanitary napkin support activity package planned by Shirley before her death. She hopes that even adolescent girls from low-income families will have access to hygiene products. It is reported that 100,000 products have been donated.
Under Shirley's influence, her fans also began to do what they could for public welfare.
Since 2020, every Shirley's birthday month, Chinese fans will launch related activities in Chaohua, including the "Suppressing the Road Forward" project, the "Lijiang Huaping Guimei Aid Society" project, the Caring for Women HPV Program, and the "Flower Bud Guardian Program" in March this year, etc., which have raised more than 40,000 yuan so far.
"I hope that through this public welfare, more girls can improve their awareness of self-protection, do their best to make the buds no longer wither, and hope that every girl can become the most dazzling self." "This is the wish of the fans, and it is also the most important reminder left to us by people like Shirley.
Shirley's self-introduction in the documentary. (Photo/"To the Truth")
(Part of the sources: Weibo @Peachjinri_, @ChinaSulluv)
Proofreader: Lai Xiaoni
Operations: Ono
Typography: Pay to win
[1] A gift from Heaven! Netizens received female items donated by Shirley before her death
[2] Shirley's suicide had early signs: she was mentally abnormal many times before her death, and there were severe signs of self-harm on her hands
[3] Cui Xueli: Abandoned by her biological father, cut off by her biological mother, endured cyberbullying, and withered at the age of 25
[4] Child star Shirley's acting career is going well, and she just begs not to let herself go anymore
[5] Netizens received women's products donated by Shirley before her death, and No Bra and hiding sanitary napkins caused heated discussions