Zhang Shuqing: Take parents to see the world | Deeply moving

Editor's note

A person is stumped by money, somewhat heroic shortness. Even more so for people who are engaged in writing words, it is simply difficult to talk about. If it is the sick oneself and the pain is the flesh, perhaps there is no need to suffer from this mental torture. But they are parents, as long as there is a glimmer of hope to live, as children will not give up lightly, even if they smash pots and sell iron, they must do their best to save their parents' lives, which is the basic filial piety for children.

Last year, I heard about the situation at home of Wen You Zhang Shuqing, and I confiscated it several times by sending red envelopes to comfort her. The other day, when she sent me the link to the drop chip, I didn't ask anything, knowing that she was in a desperate situation. A proud person in his heart can imagine how difficult it is to take this step, and it is really helpless to come to this step. As a last resort, no one is willing to show their own and their family's misfortunes and pains.

I can't do anything, I can't do much, so try my best to hold a sincere heart. May the old people get rid of the bitter sea of illness as soon as possible, live together with their crops, and go to see the sea again.

- Xiangluojun

Four years ago, I fell from heaven to hell. First, the mother's left orbital hemangioma, which had to be surgically removed. During the Dragon Boat Festival, my mother steamed rice dumplings as usual and boiled chicken and duck eggs. No one ate a few bites, and neither did my mother. She began to pack up her belongings for the hospital, which was nothing more than a change of clothes, a pair of slippers, and toiletries. One trip inside the mother's door, one trip outside the door. Look at four chickens, five ducks. Two pigs in the pen, a few puddles of greens in the vegetable garden, a cucumber. My mother didn't know how many days it would take. I don't know what the result of the surgery is? The mother told the father over and over again how to feed the chickens and ducks, and cut the grass for the pigs in the morning or afternoon. Those vegetables, don't dry up, at dusk, water. Mother, I have never been far away, and the small county where my brother and I live is far away from my mother.

The siblings are also stained with their mother's light, half of their lives, and they take the high-speed train for the first time. My mother sat in the carriage and said in surprise, this car is really stable, like in our house. Outside the window are green rice fields, corn fields, and the car passes village after village. The mother sighed and asked, the fare must be expensive, right? I said, it's not expensive, just a dozen dollars. The mother knew and couldn't ask anything. The gaze was an inch shorter, another inch. That helplessness and helplessness is like a knife that hurts our hearts all at once.

Admitted to the Second Affiliated Hospital of Dalian Medical University, the sixth floor ward of the Department of Ophthalmology. Mother keeps nagging, spending a lot of money? How much is a bed, how much is a CT scan, how much is an MRI? How much is a patient's meal? She said, how about grabbing some medicine and going home to treat it? The mother said that every penny spent on her children is sucking the blood of her children. The mother said that for a second in the hospital, breathing was money. The mother opened the cloth bag she carried, took out the boiled eggs she brought from home, and said that eating an egg can also make do with it. Before surgery, where can nutrition keep up? Coaxing my mother to eat the sick meal, there were two shrimp in it, I didn't eat it, my mother didn't eat it. No way, I forced my tears and ate them. Fortunately, the operation was successful. Half a month later, she was discharged from the hospital, and her mother threw herself into the courtyard of the old house, crying with joy. She thought she would never come back, touching the wall, smelling the flowers, hugging the big yellow cat, and shouting and drinking pigs. Father stood in the threshold, dark and thin. The home is clean and not much different from when the mother is at home. The mother who returned to the village still lived a trivial routine as before. Stir your mouth with your father and get angry. After taking care of a few acres of land and a few fruit trees, we took the car every three to five, sat on the kang, ate a big iron pot meal made by our mother, accompanied my father and mother, and talked about work. Life is calm and calm again. My brother and I also work from 9 to 5.

At the beginning of the second year, my mother detected stomach cancer in the small county hospital by gastroscopy, and without further ado, we took the high-speed train again, hospitalized in the second department of the First Affiliated Hospital of the Medical University, and after various examinations, minimally invasive surgery to remove the cancer cells. Early lung cancer was detected at the time of re-examination. At the end of the year, Sanjin Medical University Affiliated Hospital, just in time for the Zhuanghe epidemic lockdown, my mother had surgery to remove a page of lung, and our mother and daughter stayed in the hospital for a month.

This month, I had zero contact with my mother. I realized that for many years before, I had ignored my mother's feelings and even felt that the love my mother gave me was taken for granted. Accompanied my mother pacing in the corridor of the ward, talking to each other. Q: What dreams does the mother have? My mother said that for a long, long time, she wanted to have a piano. How wonderful would it be to sit at the piano and play a song on a starry night? Unfortunately, she couldn't afford to buy a piano, and even if she bought it back, her father couldn't accept it. Q: What other dreams does the mother have? My mother pondered for a moment and said, wanting to go for a walk in a larger city, wanting to see the sea, I turned my face and let my tears fall behind my back. The mother's dream is not far away or difficult. My small city has not yet been unblocked, and we are stranded in Dalian, a small hotel called Dayang. That morning, I took my mother to Xinghai Square for a walk. Facing the clear blue sea, the mother's eyes shone like stars, on the beach after low tide, there were beautiful pebbles, green sea vegetables, the mother bent down and picked up the sea vegetables, she wanted to carry it back to make soup for her father.

My mother was happy like a child, and for a moment, I felt that when I was a child, my mother was our world. Now, it has become a world where children are mothers. The collected sea vegetables were placed in a plastic bag, and the mother picked up a few smooth pebbles with beautiful patterns on them. Carrying the gift of the sea, my mother said more, and I was complacent all the way. She said that for the first time she saw the sea, seagulls, crowded beaches, wooden boats, yachts. I saw people climbing high fences, with a long rope on their bodies, and the ghosts howled into the sea. The mother was full of harvest and took the high-speed train back to her hometown, where the mother put the pebbles on the red cabinet, washed the sea vegetables, and boiled soup for the father to drink. Those few pebbles have been moored in the conspicuous place of the red cabinet of the hall. My mother cleaned every day and wiped the dust off the stones. Whenever people say, this is picked up by the sea, how vast the sea is, how blue the sea is. Seagulls are not afraid of people when they fall on the arm, the sand and gravel of the beach are soft, and it is so comfortable to lie on it.

The world is quiet again, the father and mother who live in the village, the sound of the waves is still there, when it is time to plant, when it is time to plow and sow when it is time to harvest, we regularly accompany my mother to the hospital for re-examination. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, on the sixteenth day of last year's first month, my mother rechecked, and my brother said that he would let his father go with him to do a gastrointestinal examination. As soon as the report came out, the doctor called us both aside, saying that my father had several polyps in his rectum, which were suspected to be cancerous. My brother made a decision immediately, and on the next day, we accompanied my father to the First Hospital of Dalian Medical University, and was recommended by my mother's attending doctor, Director Zhang, to meet Professor Liu Huanran of the Department of Proctology. In the outpatient clinic, finger examination, Professor Liu frowned, hurried to handle the hospitalization, and the doctor of the department specified the surgical plan. The cancer cells that my father needed to remove were 5 centimeters away from the anus, and Professor Liu said that the anus could not be saved, and he had a fistula. My father cried bitterly, saying that if a person has no anus, he has no dignity and no interesting life. My father begged Professor Liu to keep his anus. In the days before the operation, my father could not eat and sleep well. There were six patients in the ward, and the other patients were in good condition and enlightened their father. There is no anus, there is a life in the middle. Before the age of seventy-one, my father was not hospitalized and had very few injections. Headache brain fever, back pain, there are painkillers at home, eat one, no pain. Do the work of the field without delay. My mother was on the road to fighting cancer, my father also suffered from cancer, which made things worse, it was difficult, and my heart was extremely tormented, but the surface was calm, relieved my father, after the surgical removal, everything was fine. The hospital stipulates that family members can only be accompanied by one person. I stayed, and my brother went back to work. In fact, my brother's heart is involved with his parents all the time. We don't know anything about medicine and rectal cancer clinical cases. My brother kept checking information, getting relevant information, and giving me feedback. The mobile phone is open 24 hours a day, and you can contact at any time. The father's diet, subtle changes, physical reactions. Convey them to the younger brother one by one. At this time, the family worked together to face the difficulties.

Before entering the operating room, I stuck to my father's ear and constantly comforted him, and after the anesthetic, it was like sleeping, and when I woke up, it was dawn. Dad, be strong. We are here, walk with you. The father snorted, and a tear ran down the corner of his eye. Then, the father was pushed into the operating room by the paramedics, and a door blocked the way. Inside and outside the door, two heavens. One hovers on the edge of life and death, the other waits in restlessness. One minute, one hour, entered the operating room at half past seven in the morning, and it was not until about three o'clock in the afternoon that my father left the operating room. Every second, for us waiting outside the operating room, torture. Back in the ward, my father had not fully awakened. Tubes were inserted all over the body, oxygen tubes, gastric tubes, ureters, drainage tubes, fecal tubes, and tubes wrapped around the father's body, like a net. Professor Liu advised that he could not get out of bed for one week after the operation. High fever physical cooling is the best, optimistic about each tube, do not have the slightest negligence. The blood elicitation from the intestine is assumed to be bright red, proving that the operation was successful. Most of the patients after rectal cancer surgery had a high fever, so I turned on the hot water in the water room, wet the towel, and physically cooled my father one at a time. Liquid food, spoon by spoon to feed the father, drink water, drink lotus root powder. For seven days, my brother and I, my mother, seemed to have survived for ten years. There is always a light in my heart that leads me forward. Jiren Tianxiang, father or mother. They are the most simple, kind people in the world. God will bless and bless. Father got better day by day, can get out of bed and move around, a very cruel reality, after low protection, frequent stool, constantly going to the bathroom, once, accidentally in the pants, father whimpered, I have never seen my father cry, except when my grandfather died. Such a tough father, who was pressed into bed for thirty days by this serious illness, incontinent in stool, unable to do physical work, what a painful blow to his father! I hurriedly wiped the tears from my father's face with a tissue, sat down next to him, and said words of relief. My father gradually calmed down, and when he was discharged from the hospital, the hospital prescribed a large package of medicine to go back to eat, and the next step was chemotherapy.

This year, we were in the hospital with my father, going back and forth from home. After eight chemotherapy treatments, my father also grew meat, went out to bask in the sun, went up the mountain to collect firewood, and wandered to the shops in neighboring tun. My brother and I were trying to relax, on February 9, the year of the rabbit, came to Professor Liu for this review, and as soon as the gastrointestinal endoscopic report came out, the whole person was stupid. The anastomotic mouth thickens, recurs, and another 3cm cancer comes out of the colon! The body just climbed on the heavenly wall, grunted again, and was thrown into hell. Professor Liu's plan is chemotherapy first, then radiotherapy, and surgery is considered after evaluation.

I hid in the darkness and cried quietly, not wanting to alarm the moon and stars, or the birds that landed on the windowsill. In the end, I firmly believe that there will be angels to save my father, save me, and save our family. Suffering is temporary, and no matter how long the night is, the morning sun will come. At night, I hid in a shell and silently healed my wounds. During the day, I am light and breezy, to my father and mother. I put away my willfulness, little temper, and smiled to meet the storm. I have always believed that the world has a light for us.

Q: What is the father's dream? Father did not hesitate, wanted a good body, continue to plant his acres of land, I said, don't you want to take the high-speed train, go to see the famous mountains and rivers, eat human food? Father shook his head, I won't go anywhere, the gold nest and silver nest are not as good as my own grass nest.

That day, I sat down in a tea room with Sister Begonia. Sister Haitang said that she took her parents on a plane, the travel of the south and the north of the sea, I burst into tears, my father and mother have gone the farthest in their lives, that is, the Affiliated Hospital of Dalian Medical University, not sick, I am afraid that even the high-speed train will not be able to suffer.

Time, please slow down. Heaven, please be merciful and give us a chance to fulfill our filial piety and show our parents the world.

These days, I have insomnia and forgetfulness. I dare not imagine that one day I will return to the old yard and shout, Dad, Mom, I'm back. But no one answered, only the wind struck, tearing the wooden window, shaking the old date tree, the old house gritting its teeth and standing on the ground.

*Review of previous articles:

Zhang Shuqing: Hoarding grain | Northern column

Yiren: Old Street (Outer Three Songs) | Northern column

*Biography:

Zhang Shuqing is a member of the Liaoning Provincial Association. His works have been published in "Beijing Literature", "Yalu River", "Selected Short Novels", "Microfiction Monthly", "Peony", "Short Stories", "Dapeng Literature", "Years", "Short Novel Monthly", "Haiyan", "Coconut City", "Hundred Schools of Prose", "Liaohe" and so on.