On September 10, 2018, Shen Lijun jumped from the 28th floor with resentment towards herself and the world.
Seven days later, the media announced the death of Shen Lijun and the 10,000-word suicide note stored in her mobile phone, and the last sentence of the suicide note was thought-provoking, she said: "The road I chose, but now I am cornered." ”
Once upon a time, Shen Lijun held the title of "Shanghai's first beautiful woman" and flashed marriage giants.
Just a month before she committed suicide, she still looked like she had a quiet and happy life after posting beautiful photos on Weibo.
Why is it that in just one month, the story is all reversed?
And what is the meaning of the desperate in her mouth?
First, rely on the appearance of courage to break into the entertainment circle
In 1983, Shen Lijun was born in an ordinary family in Shanghai.
Although Shen Lijun's family is average, the graduation college is not the most brilliant drama of the local "starlight", but the Shanghai Aurora Vocational College, which is almost unknown.
However, due to Shen Lijun's outstanding appearance, she still made a smooth debut by relying on her appearance.
It is worth mentioning that the well-known alumni of Shanghai Aurora Vocational College also include "Niangniang" Sun Li and "Little Swallow" Huang Yi, and Shen Lijun's story also has many similarities with her two sisters.
It's just that she gave up the magic weapon of "changing her life" prematurely, and the final tragic end may be doomed at the moment she gives up.
Shen Lijun likes to send beautiful photos on the forum on weekdays, because of her fresh and unworldly appearance, her beautiful photos are often downloaded and saved, and even many people use them as avatars.
In the forum's popularity, she has the influence of "the first generation of Internet celebrities", and a large number of followers also praised her as "the first beauty in Shanghai".
Although she is not from a science class, Shen Lijun knows how to use her own advantages, and she has participated in many "beauty contests" during college.
In 2006, the 23-year-old Shen Lijun stood out in the "Head Character D Drift Goddess" audition and won the runner-up, and she also became the spokesperson for the online game "Eternity".
In the same year, she also participated in the movie "The 601st Phone", starring Cecilia Cheung and Hu Ge, so far Shen Lijun relied on her beauty and efforts to successfully promote from a flat model to a newcomer in the film and television circle, and her future is unlimited.
This experience of hers is like her sister Sun Li, but Sun Li's goal is more clear, people go straight to the "actor", directly signed "Hairun Film and Television" through the rookie selection, just debuted in "Jade Guanyin", and since then, all the way to the "god" with the role of Zhen Huan.
In fact, Shen Lijun, who just debuted, also has the same resources as Sun Li to "explode", debuting only 3 years, that is, by 2009, she has already participated in two film and television works with high stardom and high attention.
The first was "Family Happy Affair 2009", which was released in the 2009 Chinese New Year file.
As the latest episode of the "Family Happy Affair Series", it not only continues the essence of the family comedy, but also brings together a group of veteran Hong Kong stars as box office guarantee, it is worth noting that Shen Lijun is still playing a couple with the "male god" Gu Tianle.
Shen Lijun's step can also be regarded as entering the hong Kong circle.
Soon after, Shen Lijun's second film in 2009, "Transformation Contract", was also released, and this time she hitched a ride with Taiwan's "male god" Huo Jianhua.
Although the movie did not sell well this time, Shen Lijun's position in the movie has been completely promoted to the second female number, which shows that she already had a certain degree of attention at that time.
If she tries to shoot some good works in the future, then she can also become an absolute heroine like her sister Sun Li.
But at this moment, she met the man who changed her life.
Second, for the sake of "fish", abandon "fish"
Shen Lijun, who is beautiful and highly sought after, naturally has no shortage of suitors, and in early 2010, she met a "rich second generation" Wu who fell in love with her at first sight at a friend's wedding.
Wu is rumored to be the brother-in-law of a local clothing company in Shanghai, and there is only one mother in the family, and the mother also runs several high-end beauty salons.
Life is rich, it is typical of dashing and broad.
The first time wu met Shen Lijun to show his good feelings for her, it is undeniable that the "romance" wrapped in money made Shen Lijun from an ordinary family move, and she agreed to communicate with Wu.
At the beginning of the love, Shen Lijun and Wu both showed each other their best side, Shen Lijun was sunny and cheerful, and Wu was kind and humorous.
The most important thing is that Wu Mou will especially vote for his liking, he knows that Shen Lijun likes to watch movies and travel, he often asks Shen Lijun to watch movies and travel, and these actions of his are "plus points" in Shen Lijun's eyes.
Therefore, only 8 months after their relationship, Shen Lijun agreed to Wu's marriage proposal, and they entered the palace of marriage hand in hand.
"I'd rather cry in a BMW than laugh on a bike," is a quote that Mano made famous in 2010 when he competed in Do Not Disturb.
Also in 2010, Shen Lijun sat on the "BMW" that Wu promised to drive only for her with a smile on her face.
At that time, Shen Lijun must have been happy, because she felt that she could have both "fish and bear paws".
To this end, she is also sincerely willing to "pay" for this happiness, and she chose to quit the entertainment circle where she had a firm foothold when she first got married.
But it is this choice to give up "fishing" for the sake of "fish" that makes her desperate in the future.
Third, the giant "filter" is broken
Just after marrying into the Wu family, Shen Lijun relied on the woman's sensitive "sixth sense" to perceive that her happiness of "bursting" was decreasing day by day.
Once upon a time, Wu was trying to please her and do what she liked, and after marriage, those projects that increased the intimacy between husband and wife such as watching movies, traveling, and shopping became "contraband", and Shen Lijun's face changed when she mentioned Wu.
Even if Shen Lijun pleaded with Wu to agree to go to the movie, he would call his good brother, and then the seat was far away from Shen Lijun, in order to be able to play with the mobile phone unscrupulously.
Shen Lijun saw the changes in these details in her eyes, she knew that life would return to plain after marriage, and she also understood that "those who are favored have no fear."
But obviously, Shen Lijun, who has only her husband in her eyes, has become the weaker party in this marriage, but in exchange for her husband's "critical attack" again and again.
Everyone knows that the magic weapon of the tycoons to compete for favors is to give birth, and Shen Lijun also began to prepare for production at the request of her mother-in-law.
And this is also one of her plans in exchange for her husband's love, after all, she can be a "queen" for at least ten months.
Because Shen Lijun was weak and Wu's sperm survival rate was low, Shen Lijun was hit by more than 200 stitches.
However, Shen Lijun, who endured the pain, exchanged it for her husband's estrangement and deception.
Since Shen Lijun became pregnant, Wu Mou has a lot of work socializing, in fact, he is playing "late night mahjong".
Not long after he and Shen Lijun got married, he began to collect "wildflowers" on the side of the road.
The most unacceptable thing is that Wu also concealed his previous marriage history, and the reason for the divorce was caused by his infidelity.
Shen Lijun, who learned the truth, regretted that she was not in the beginning, but it was too late, and she instantly felt how ridiculous she was when she flashed her marriage.
It turned out that she could only be happy forever by sitting on the BMW she bought, but at this time, she had completely lost the ability to "buy a BMW".
Fourth, see the facts clearly, but there is no way out
For the sake of the child in her belly, Shen Lijun chose to wipe the tears from her face and continue to walk with Wu, who was determined to repent.
The world understands that there are only 0 or countless times of cheating, but Shen Lijun hypnotizes herself that there are exceptions to everything, and Wu's next actions have proved again and again that he cannot be that exception.
After Shen Lijun gave birth to a son, Wu was still the treasurer, ignoring the child, and even more disgusted with Shen Lijun after giving birth.
When Shen Lijun endured the pain of postpartum recovery to take care of the child, Wu either pretended to socialize outside, or watched TV and brushed his mobile phone in the living room.
At that time, Shen Lijun's whole energy was on the child, and she had no time to take care of the chicken feathers in the marriage.
In this way, she continued to "self-hypnotize", hoping that there would be a miracle on the day, but in exchange for the bad luck that followed.
In order to fulfill her husband's "daughter dream", she became pregnant again.
But when she was 5 months pregnant, her friend told Wu that she had been cheating on her for a long time, and the other party was an "old jianghu" who had been in a nightclub since the age of 16.
This time Shen Lijun did not tolerate it, she decided to divorce Wu, but also to beat up the child in the belly, but Wu once again won Shen Lijun's forgiveness by crying and swearing.
In fact, at that time, Shen Lijun had already seen clearly, she knew that Wu could not change, but for the sake of the child, she decided to leave Wu immediately when the child became an adult.
It is difficult for us to imagine how Shen Lijun, who was already awake at that time, "pretended to be stupid".
While taking care of the family's living, she endured the provocative declarations sent by "Little Three" at any time, but she also pretended to be happy to the outside world.
So we can see the beautiful photos she posted on Weibo, but what is her real life like?
After giving birth to her daughter, she put together a "good" word for the Wu family, but her life had nothing to do with this word.
Wu is still kissing the "nightclub girl" and spending thousands of dollars for her, but she is reluctant to buy a pair of hundreds of shoes for her children.
The mother-in-law not only made Shen Lijun accept the status quo, but also secretly gave Wu money to provide him with "nonsense" funds.
Successive misfortunes happened to Shen Lijun alone, and she could not bear it anymore.
Unexpectedly, the bad luck had not yet come to an end, and at this time she was diagnosed with cervical cancer.
The "last straw" that crushed Shen Lijun was not a disease, but a lack of hope.
She thought that when she was sick, she could get her husband's sympathy in exchange for his tenderness.
But what I got was a sentence: Do you know why I didn't divorce you? Because then you die, I will help you collect the body.
It was this sentence that cut off Shen Lijun's desire to continue to live, originally she wanted to leave with a pair of children, but she finally gave up, she still believed that "tiger poison does not eat children".
But she must not have imagined that the moment she jumped from the 28th floor, Wu was choosing a wedding dress for the "nightclub girl", so would he really be concerned about his children?
The same is married to the wrong tycoon, and Huang Yi is still married twice, why can Huang Yi start over?
In addition to her physical health, the most important thing is that she has always had a career to be her strongest backing, which is also her retreat after divorce.
There is such a sentence in "Jane Eyre": love is a game, and it must always be inseparable from each other and evenly matched, in order to rely on each other for a long time.
Who should blame Shen Lijun, who has been cornered at the age of 35?
She had finally figured it out, only to blame her original choice, so that she lost the confidence to confront Wu from the beginning, and she could only give in in the end.