The seven-year itch in marriage is not just a saying that is passed down through life.
According to the data, in 2017, of the more than 1.4 million divorce cases concluded by courts across the country, 77.51% of couples applied for divorce to the court due to emotional discord, and the 2-7 years after marriage were the high incidence of marriage breakdown.
It confirms the saying that three years of pain and seven years of itching are confirmed.
This seems to be the curse of marriage, and no one can escape it.
If you pay attention to some couples around you, there are really many couples, and the feelings or relationships are in crisis in the three or seven years of marriage. There are even many couples who firmly believe that as long as they can survive the current year, everything will be fine.
No one's marriage will not have problems, face the problem, think about the problem, this is very important and very much needed ability, must not throw the black pot to the marriage itself, good or bad, can only be the result of two people's business, all the problems or crises are not accidental.
As for why there is a seven-year itch, there are also traces to follow, including more quarrels, no words to say, and tiredness and boredom.
What does the seven-year itch in marriage really mean? Analyzed three points!
1. The seven-year itch is just a tipping point.
It may be that before marriage, deep contradictions have been accumulated, such as because of the bride price, but at that time, it is difficult to vent due to various scruples, and after marriage, the wood has become a boat, and all negative emotions have begun to vent on little things.
With the passage of time, each other's complaints, grievances and prejudices have become deeper, and the contradictions have accumulated infinitely, becoming more and more intense, and finally in the seventh year of marriage, it has become the last straw that crushes each other, and then tears up the skin, regardless of the need to ask for an explanation for themselves.
Or, it's that many couples fail to realize that feelings don't work once and for all.
Marriage does not mean the end, there is no active management and continued to pay, completely relying on the previous emotional foundation as a support, slowly no longer take care of each other's feelings, needs and needs, resulting in one party more and more cold grievances.
It is also accumulated too many grievances, endured to the end either erupt or collapse, and the seventh year of marriage, completely passed the sweet period of new marriage, and officially entered an ordinary life.
Or maybe it's that two young people don't know how to run a marriage, don't understand that husband and wife need to tolerate each other, and don't realize that after marriage, they have to remove half of their personality.
Therefore, the so-called "seven-year itch" does not necessarily occur in the seventh year of marriage, and many real problems do not matter to you, and are not fundamentally solved, then they are accumulated one after another, and people's patience has a limit.
2. Formally enter the most ordinary life.
There are many reasons why couples don't realize what marriage really means before they get married. Not understanding marriage is just a change of way of life, and not understanding that ordinary and suffering are the norm of marriage.
In turn, the imagination of married life is shining and sparkling, and I feel that it should be more romantic than love.
Then what you get later, naturally, is a great disappointment, and when the sweet period of the new marriage has completely passed, and you have entered the most ordinary life, you feel that such a marriage is not what you want, and you begin to doubt and question.
Then his negative emotions will indirectly vent to his partner, and then cause quarrels, always because of small things.
And with the arrival of trivialities such as family chores, old-age care, human exchanges, etc., I can't help but feel complicated, and it is not joy to see my partner every day, only the feeling of boredom and dullness.
At the same time, I especially yearn for the freedom and dashing when I was single, and I longed to return to that life of passion and excitement, and my mentality gradually collapsed, and I couldn't help but feel more disappointed in the life in front of me.
Boring, boring and boring life makes both husband and wife unreasonable, and even blames all unhappiness on their partners. Even a very small thing will be infinitely magnified by the burnout of two people.
3, the pressure of life leads to mutual incomprehension.
The freshness between two people, as well as the sweet period after marriage, can be transformed into a special passion, infinitely tolerant of each other, including any contradictions, which can be immediately cured by that special enthusiasm.
In fact, the problem is still there, and it will only wait for the novelty to completely pass and then emerge one by one.
In the early days of feelings, freshness is the driving force, freshness is warmth, but then two people get along, that is, by being able to implement love into the details of life, there is real support, understanding, and care.
It is reasonable to say that the more difficult life is, the more couples should hug each other to warm up and bear their fate together.
But many couples are reversed, the more stressful life, the more likely it is for couples to have a situation of mutual incomprehension, and they all feel that only they are the hardest, and their own credit is the greatest.
There is no longer any resilience to speak of, and a single sentence can provoke it and throw a tantrum.
After all, there are still many ordinary people, and after having children, especially after the children go to school, various expenses follow, and when the husband and wife are under the pressure of mortgages and car loans, they will immediately be overwhelmed.
Every day is two people who are exhausted, the most prone to conflict, and even begin to question their original decisions.
These are the three points that summarize.
Anyway, since you have come all the way, it is easy not to give up, changing a partner can never change the essence of marriage, if you really divorced, think about whether you still have feelings to love others?
It took so much time to have an immediate understanding of your partner, and then to spend so much time and energy again to understand another person, is it acceptable? I feel tired thinking about it.
So when you want to give up, think about why two people started.
In fact, what we want at the beginning is very simple, but after being satisfied, we have one wish and goal after another, calm down and think about it, maybe you don't need so many things. Are you busy comparing with others and forgetting to live your own life?
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It's normal to have problems in a marriage, but we must not be fooled by the appearance of the problem, think about the root of the problem, why the partner has become like this, and some of the behaviors, and what the ultimate needs are.
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