Talk about my growing inner drive, about the education of children

Recently, a fan friend left a message asking me if I can read so well, is there any way for me to share it. I try to answer this question, a little personal experience and shallow insights.

I'm ashamed to say that I am really not a good example of good reading, and I am not a child of "other people's families" since I was a child. What has propelled me all the way to where I am today (of course, I am just an ordinary person, although occasionally I will become a model for educating children at home with friends and family), I can summarize it with a word that is now popular: internal drive!

I will talk about the "internal drive" around my personal growth and reading experience, and I hope that I can use it in the future to educate my own children.

When I was a child, I grew up in the countryside, and my parents dutifully earned money to support us, and there was no time to take care of other things! Playing to school age, I let my dad send me to school, my dad felt that the girl film could save tuition for a year at night, who dared to believe in modern times? I struggled so hard that he took me to the house of an uncle who was a teacher to ask for advice, and he was still very annoyed when he walked, striding ahead, pulling me far behind. In fact, my father is enlightened, not that he does not let girls go to school, he may think that girls can't read anything famous, just mix a few years to know the words. A year later, you can still work at home and save some tuition. In his world, this kind of cognition is at most. As for why I was clamoring to go to school, because my friends were all going to school, of course I had to go too, and I was strongly opposed to going to school a year later. Although our family is poor, our parents still love us very much, so I have been very assertive since I was a child, and I dare to resist. Later, when I arrived at the teacher's uncle's house, he asked me to write a few words, and I wrote my name on the ground with a branch, and a few simple words he said randomly. My uncle praised me for being smart, and my father was very happy, so he agreed to let me enroll that year.

To say now that I knew from first grade that reading can change my life would be a lie. Chaos is really not open, but fortunately I was born in an era of fair screening, in the simple mud house classroom, everyone learned everything by talent. In this way, I should be a relatively talented person, and I easily passed the first place in a rural school. But it was never stable, because I didn't have self-esteem or the like, and no one cared about learning, it was all about preferences and awareness, so the grades were good and bad. But I myself conclude that I belong to the kind of people who are good at reading.

In this process, parents do not support and do not oppose. I remember the first exam in the first grade of elementary school, the first exam in my life, I won the first place, my dad was very happy, there was a light on his face, and he pasted the award certificate on the wall of the main hall. The second time, it was the second place, my dad joked that the second place had regressed and wanted to tear up the award, and as a result, my brother really tore the award certificate off, I cried angrily, and my dad scolded my brother. In this way, my teacher at school liked that although the grades fluctuated, they could not be too bad to win some light for my father, so my father was happy to pay for my tuition (dozens of dollars a semester). My dad didn't dwell on how to do every time he took the test, he didn't have the energy, he didn't care too much, he was happy when he took the test, and if the test was poor, he let me do well next time, never scolded, let alone hit people.

But soon I had my first test in life. In the first grade of junior high school, the first thorough examination, I took the first place in the class test, and the top few in the stage. Then I began to be proud again, anyway, I made friends, and learning was still all based on mood and preference. Heaven is good for reincarnation, the heavens spared who, when I took the middle school entrance examination, I fell off the list (purely deserved). I remember on the eve of the middle school entrance examination, my English teacher in the third year of junior high school saw that I was about to take the middle school exam and played every day, and one day she stopped me outside the classroom and asked: What is your ideal? I chuckled and said: I didn't think about it. I don't understand the look in her eyes when she looks at me, and now it seems that she hates iron and steel.

Several of my junior high school teachers were very good to me, the kind of good that I really preferred! I did well in my class, which was on the younger side. At that time, the rural middle schools were uneven in age, and I was four or five years old, and it was estimated that I was also harmed by the idea of my father who was the same as my father. They disciplined me, and every time I talked about the topic very seriously, such as the English teacher, even if I went to her office during the break to ask questions, she was very serious. There are no interests mixed up here, etc., and I am grateful to have met them. And in junior high school, I had already fallen in love, rebelled, and so on! My parents don't know these things now, they don't care, they don't have time, they don't have the leisure to know!

So I fell off the list, and it was the first blow of my life. There is a scene after the list that I remember deeply, and I still remember it vividly!

My dad and I squatted on our pigsty, I picked the cement on the wall of the pigsty and said I want to re-read, my dad said yes, anyway, you can take the exam, re-study no tuition! My mom said re-read what, work early to earn money! At that time, it was a wave of part-time work, and many of my friends had already gone out to "make a lot of money". I glared at my mother: If you don't let me go to school, I'll go to court and sue you! My Mom: ...

And the reason why I was so persistent at that time: I didn't like to do farm work, I didn't want to work, and I didn't want to be "looking for a mother-in-law" to marry. I understand that if I continue to hang erlang, I will be trapped in this quagmire, and there will never be a day to emerge!

Since then, my study has had an internal driving force, and after re-studying, I was admitted to a relatively good high school in the county, a cheap student, and the tuition fee is six hundred a semester. At that time, the first grade only accepted three hundred affordable students, and thousands of other students took money to buy the difference, and even worse, they were not admitted directly. My dad said before the exam that he wouldn't take any points to read, and he wouldn't take the money to buy me points. As a result, I just hung up the line, and I didn't take more or less tests for a single point.

In this way, I stumbled into high school, and after reading high school, I realized it and began to study hard. To rebel against the established fate, you can only study well, there is no other choice. But the drawbacks of unruly and all-IQ learning in the early stage also came out, my basic knowledge was not solid, junior high school barely occasionally came to the fore, and in high school everyone was screened out by IQ, so I could only ignore everyone. In addition, I have not been trained in study habits, self-discipline is very poor, there is no good learning method, can only reluctantly force a bachelor's degree, of course, this is not easy in Henan's college entrance examination province, that year was not easy. Although compared with the famous university, it is really not worth mentioning, but for me as a rural girl, it is also the first step to change her destiny. In fact, many students who have the same experience as me have chosen to repeat their studies, hoping to enter a better college. But I didn't, I was afraid of re-reading, and I wasn't so attached to higher schools. I chose to study medicine, thinking that this was a profession that did not die of hunger, and I had to eat first. Therefore, the popular majors such as computer, business administration, and logistics management at that time could not be understood, so I resolutely did not mix. This is more important to see, but I don't have such a person in my life to guide me, what can I do? So fate determined my choices, and choices made me like this.

After being admitted to college, my horizons are broadened, I am also an adult, things are simpler, in short, I am in charge of my life, and I am not afraid of suffering to achieve my goals.

Later, I studied for a master's degree and a doctorate, also because I couldn't find a good job when I went out to study medicine. There is no way, can only read up, the more you grow up, the more self-disciplined, the horizon is also broadened, but also know more excellent people, and then accidentally become a person who looks like he can study.

Combining these experiences, I feel that learning this thing, the internal drive is very important. And how to get the internal drive, that is, let the child free to explore the world, clearly know what kind of situation he is in, let him and what he wants to live in what state of life, and then the parents try their best to assist him to complete. Talent is also very important, some people are suitable for doing some learning, some children are really not suitable, parents still want to be Buddhist, give children a little more diversified choices, if the values are too single, it is easy to walk into a dead end. My mother was also worried that I would have a mental problem if I didn't go to college. I can only say that she does not know her daughter too well, and going to college is just a way for me to obtain survival capital, and I am just good at choosing this path, how can I be insane because of a "tool"? If I did not easily get the first place, my ambition may also be used in other aspects, so, reading this thing, talent is really important, parents should be moderate "confession", children who can read are not "cultivated", but talent plus moderate assistance and elevation!

It is useless to talk about the big truth with children, I can't listen to it since I was a child anyway, my cognition is summed up by myself, the books I read and the things I experience are shaped, and absolutely no one can forcibly instill it.

What are the benefits of this? In my opinion, the advantage is that I have grown into a responsible person and a person who resists blows. I am responsible for my choices, for my life, for my responsibilities! From the time I said to my mother, "If you don't let me read, I'll sue you", I understood that the path I chose could only rely on myself, and I had no way out. Whether you study medicine, study for a doctorate, or work, it's all up to me.

Of course, I like to read books outside of the needs of survival, like to write things, although it is a personal hobby, but it is also an internal need. People in the world, there are nine times out of ten, how to relieve it, each has its own way, my way is to read, write, even if the hobby and life needs are combined.

All in all: childhood experiences, the pressures of life are the internal driving force I have been all the way, and this internal driving force is the cornerstone of everything. I once joked with a friend that as long as I paid for the exam, I would definitely pass it all at once, because I could not allow my money to be spent in vain.

Compared with excellent people, especially children who are excellent in their personal and excellent families, I am really too ordinary, and the height they can reach is also what I don't want to touch, because the life of too hard work is too tired, I really don't like it. All along, I have been pushed by the "internal drive" of survival, has been fighting against my fate, to my current age, from my personal experience and experience, I will neither be arrogant, nor arrogant, truly understand the connotation of not being humble, considered a relatively qualified adult!

What I would most like to say to my parents (including myself)

In my opinion: whether a child will read or not is not the most important, a person in the process of continuous growth, and finally find themselves, to find their most desired state of life is the most important. The impulsive enthusiasm of youth, the hard work of youth, the warmth and peace of middle age, and the regret of old age, I thought it was a complete life. In terms of such goals, how should we treat our children? Maybe it can be: guidance in youth, support in youth, and non-mixing after middle age.

Educating children is really a big project, but also the top priority of parents, I am really limited experience, poor donkey skills, let's share it here!

My baby has just finished his third birthday, and if my child is well educated, I probably have more to say!

In the photo is a group photo of a little girl who aspires to enter Wuhan University and our medical team. If the youth is strong, then China is strong! I hope that as parents, we can treat our children with "heart": love him, but also respect him!