The network article is exclusively | who said that standing in the light is the hero

I have never seen the protagonist of this story, and I have repeatedly deliberated in the process of writing, fearing offense or harm.

Until I finished writing, the appearance of him in my mind gradually sketched clearly. The bottom of my heart is still heavy:

"We may not be able to touch eagles in our lives, but in the book there are not only eagles, but also tigers on the mountains and phoenixes in plane trees."

This is the language he perceives with fate, plain, lofty, and firm. I want to tell you.

- Author

Who says that standing in the light is the hero

Text | China Writers Network Yu Jing

"Bleeding badly, take a day off."

Open the sports fiction channel of the starting point Chinese network, and in the single chapter of "Big Country Sports", you may read such a "leave of absence". In the introduction column of the author's still life, it is written that "the author is in poor health and still insists on updating every day."

The still life born in 1990 is a haemophilia patient. Hemophilia is a bleeding disorder with hereditary coagulation dysfunction, with a lifelong tendency to bleed, prevention of bleeding requires comprehensive treatment, and unspecified treatment is very easy to cause disability, and even life-threatening. Because of the medical conditions and disease cognition limitations in the early years, the still life was not treated in time, and the frequent internal bleeding that occurred over the years has left him disabled, unable to take care of himself, and most of the time he can only stay at home.

In 2012, he has been reading the still life of online novels, wanting to earn some writing fees to support himself, reduce the burden for his family, and began to grope for the creation of sports competition novels at the starting point Chinese network.

Glass man

For a long time, still life did not know that he had hemophilia.

For as long as I can remember, every ten days and a half months, some joint in the still life's body would begin to swell for no reason, and then suffer bone erosion pain for the next few days. His parents had taken him to the hospital many times, but there was never a definitive diagnosis.

"At that time, everyone, including my family, thought I was too naughty. Because as long as this disease has a bump, it will leave obvious bruises, so my family and teachers think that I am not only naughty and mischievous, but also always fight with people, and I have a blue and purple piece on my body every day. "I can't be sure of the condition, but the joints in my ankles and knees have been damaged, and over time, the still life has been as painful as a pinprick with every step it takes, and the walk has become limping."

Later, I also went to large hospitals, but at that time, there were not many hemophilia patients in China, and the clinical experience of domestic doctors was insufficient, and few doctors who had heard of this disease were there. Because of the similarities in the clinical manifestations of hemophilia and leukemia, the still life had been misdiagnosed as leukemia, and even bone marrow punctures had been done, and if it were not for the timely blood transfusion of the family, he might have left this world. Later, once, the family took them to an old specialist to see a doctor, but they still could not be diagnosed. The young intern doctor on the side asked whether it was possible to have "hemophilia", so he went to a special hemophilia center and diagnosed the diagnosis.

"But by then it was too late, and several of my joints had been permanently damaged." When it comes to this, Still Life does not blame or resent, he has been with his fate for a long time.

Most of the children in the primary and junior high school years do not understand things, many classmates will learn how he walks behind him, and the strange eyes often sting his heart. Dragging such legs, it is difficult for still life to integrate into classmates, and most of the time he is alone, and even deliberately avoids the crowd. Then he dropped out of school.

"I don't have any friends, I always stay alone and quietly, but I am slowly getting used to it. And calming down can really reduce the frequency of bumping and bleeding. Later, when he took his online name and pen name, he named himself "Still Life", which was self-deprecating and self-relieving.

"I live like a glass man." This is still life's memory of the whole childhood and growth.

The light that falls into life

On the days when I stay at home, in addition to watching TV, still life goes to the street bookstore not far from home to read.

At the beginning of the 21st century, the bookstores in small counties and towns were not like the professional bookstores in the city today, with a rich variety, bright, and even many cultural and creative products. Still life remembers that at that time, there were suddenly many small bookstores on the street, which were small and dark, and everyone could rent books to read. "Some of the covers and content of the novel are not right, but basically 90% of the covers are printed with the name 'Huang Yi', which made me think he was a god."

Huang Yi is a Hong Kong martial arts novel writer, formerly known as Huang Zuqiang, whose representative works include "In Search of Qin" and "The Legend of the Double Dragon of the Tang Dynasty". He was the Assistant Director of the Hong Kong Museum of Art for ten years, during which time he studied astrology, guqin, dong gong and metaphysics. Because of his love of metaphysics, he changed his name to Huang Yi after the "sun and moon are easy" in the I Ching. Later, he resigned and lived in seclusion to concentrate on creation. With his continuous innovation methods, he injected new elements into traditional martial arts, and gave the soul of the novel with Chinese philosophy and traditional culture, which once saved the long-sluggish martial arts novel market. Wu Wenhui, the founder of the starting point Chinese Network, once called Huang Yi "the originator of online novels".

The still lifes that are young and grew up in the county are still far from the vicissitudes and historical changes of these online literatures. But the secret popularity of Chinese online novels has given this child who will be injured if he is not careful and cannot go out too much a different kind of sustenance. The novel story, the surging blood, accompanied him through countless painful and torturous nights, opened a window for him, and the light leaked into the window. Reading allows him to not have to go out and swim in many novel worlds.

Another thing that supports him is basketball. During that time, Chinese professional basketball player Yao Ming was selected by the NBA's Houston Rockets as a champion and was named to the NBA All-Star Game for six consecutive seasons from 2003 to 2009. Many boys of the same age around me like basketball because of Yao Ming, although physically, still life can not play basketball. But basketball's sense of competition, fun and breakthrough still deeply attracted him. Physical limitations, on the contrary, make his desire for basketball stronger, and his fantasies about basketball are richer.

In the original boring, painful, and lonely life, it seems that there can also be happiness and strength.

"If only there could be many of me"

In 2012, the physical condition of the still life became serious, and the cost of medication was increasing.

With the development of online literature and the popularity of home computers, still lifes have the idea of writing online. He chose the sports genre web novel that he was most interested in and familiar with. So far, he has written more than 3,700 days, accumulated 7.08 million words, and written 6 works such as "The Emperor of Basketball", "Fengxing the World", and "Big Country Sports", with 310,000 fans.

Writing for more than ten years, the still life has not told the outside world about its situation over the years, and has not asked the platform to give special care. He just wrote books, at most issuing a single chapter to express the emotions of illness, and never asked for money. Like every ordinary author, he earns a corresponding reward for his labor on the website by his own efforts and level. In his first year of writing, like many authors, he barely made any fees. In the next few years, there will be an annual income of about 30,000 to 40,000 per year. After 2017, his results were better, but his body could not support enough updates.

Although there was a certain income, the medical insurance at that time was not perfect, and the drugs that still life needed to buy were almost not within the scope of reimbursement, and the money was not enough to buy drugs. While still life tries to write out his sports dreams, he tries to subsidize the cost of buying medicines by relying on his own strength. Writing, hanging between dreams and reality, is difficult.

The "no threshold" characteristics of online literature have given countless ordinary people the opportunity to get close to literature, and situations like still life even provide a channel to connect with the world. But if you really want to write a little bit, talent and accumulation, effort and willpower, none of them are indispensable. For more diligent authors who are still groping, online writing is more like an ordinary profession. Every ordinary profession requires diligence, accumulation of experience, and slow progress.

Still life has never had the luxury of "getting rich", but more than ten years of experience is enough for him to perceive his own shortcomings, and it also makes him more and more demanding of his own works, eager to break through. He lamented that he had dropped out of school too early and did not have enough knowledge reserves, resulting in a lot of times when writing. He envied that when others found deficiencies, they could have the energy to read and improve their own level. Most of the time he is short of energy, "half of my time has been lost to the disease since birth, and the other half of the time I have to use the existing knowledge reserves to write online novels to make money to fight the disease."

Despite this, the protagonists in his works are still full of energy, and the strength to fight and not accept defeat is frequently displayed in sports competitions. His most recent work, "Big Country Sports", shows the protagonist's career as an athlete from 1980, using sports Olympic competition as the main body to explore the influence of sports on the international image of big countries. In "Big Country Sports", the "plug-in" that still life gives to the protagonist is that there are many doppelgangers to help him do things. At first, everyone could not understand, because the multi-protagonist group like the text, is a thankless approach. It is not easy to write the protagonist vividly and vividly with personality, adding so many people, are still protagonists, personalities are different, involving various scenes around the protagonist, dialogue-related ratios, and the connection of different characters, it is very difficult.

Perhaps, it is precisely because still life can only stay at home most of the time that he longs to have many doppelgangers to help him realize his dreams. It is precisely because he deeply understands the importance of physical fitness that he wants to transmit more spirit and energy through sports dreams.

Ragged cape, blocking the gun of destiny

The story of the still life is known to everyone, and it is a recent plea for help in a single chapter. He really couldn't hold back.

His father was deceived by a lot of savings because he was anxious to support such a family and believed in pyramid schemes. Then there were two cerebral infarctions, in order to keep the money for him to treat, missed the best time to dissolve the thrombolysis, life has been unable to take care of itself, almost the mother alone carrying the family. Still Life had never mentioned anything about his father either.

Until recently, her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and she had to send her father to a nursing home, and she also secretly went to chemotherapy alone. The cost of treatment has far exceeded the affordability of families. The family's savings were less than fifty thousand yuan, and Still life's mother refused to use it, because this was the money she was going to buy him medicine. In addition to the practical difficulties in front of him, as the son of the family, when his mother needs to be taken care of the most, Still Life cannot help at all. Personal fate, still life can still grit his teeth and face it, but at this time, his inner torment and powerlessness are already about to push him into the abyss of despair. Who can he talk to.

It was still the online literature that helped him stand on his own feet that once again pulled him back. After the single chapter was issued, the website launched a special fund to help writers with love and relief, and the relevant procedures are being promoted. There are enthusiastic authors and readers who teach him how to launch fundraising on the Internet; some operation officials pull him into the author group, and everyone gives him red envelopes in the group; and the authors in Jinan heard that the mother of the still life went to Jinan alone to see a doctor, and specially booked a hotel for his aunt... And I know the story of the still life decided to do an interview, and it was also on the same website that a platinum writer who wrote a sports competition novel came to me to inform me of the situation. "The authors of online articles are generally simple and enthusiastic, sometimes impulsive, but they can always warm people's hearts." I hope that his tenacious and inspirational story of self-reliance and survival can be known by more people. ”

One of his readers commented: "An author with a stubborn disease will write about sports competitions, whether it is the text or his spirit, reflects the hard work and not to accept defeat in the author of the online article, which is probably the place where I personally admire it the most." There is a feeling of 'Shi Tiesheng in the network circle', and his own vague but tenacious hopes and sustenance are presented through words. ”

And Still life himself did not dare to accept such an evaluation. "We may have suffered similarly, but I don't have his talent and I admire what he has achieved." Still life also wished to be a respected true writer, but illness took away more and more of his time. He wanted to persuade young people with healthy bodies to study well no matter what. "We may not be able to touch eagles in our lives, but in the book there are not only eagles, but also tigers on the mountains and phoenixes in plane trees." Although still life may not be able to have the life of an ordinary person, he still firmly believes in this.

The periosteum of the still life left ankle bone has been worn for nearly 20 years, the right leg knee cannot be bent for more than ten years, and every landing will be like disconnecting from the middle at any time, the left arm hematoma compresses the joint and the right shoulder hematoma compresses the nerve cannot be raised. These problems cannot be overcome by will alone. He had never asked for help for his physical condition, in fact, because he had already prepared himself to be relieved when he had no choice

Still life says that he is lonely and introverted by pain, has low self-esteem and sensitivity, and has a deep fear of social connection. But everyone's help seemed to make the faint and faint hope in his heart grow. In addition to asking for help for his mother, he also seemed to want to ask for help for himself. "I also want to take care of my parents with my broken body." He is trying to find a way to treat his injuries. 'Take advantage of the half-time break to get some energy back, maybe come back in the second half, then my first half will make sense."

Making demands is also a brave step for still life objects that do not want to cause trouble to others for many years. This need is the will to be born, the light. As long as you live, there is hope; as long as you are willing to get better, you can get better. "My heart is filled with gratitude and blessing for a pair of helping hands, and they have all given me invaluable help to my seemingly cursed family."

For online literature, Still Life feels that he is not qualified to give any opinion, but he hopes to create a world with a grand worldview and a magnificent world in his novels, and hopes that there will be such a book on his future tombstone, and the world in the book will be the home of his soul.

Heaven and earth are unkind, and all things are dogs. Life does not reduce the test of a person because he does not have a sound physique. If still life is really a glass man. Then, it is the will of steel that has supported the life of a glass man so far.

Whoever says that a man covered in mud is not a hero, we admire and bless him.