Keywords: "two men" multiple choice questions, both inside and outside
Q: Now there are two people chasing me, which makes me a little confused:
A 36-year-old, with three full-money houses, a full-fund façade of more than 2 million yuan, driving a luxury car, opening a company, is very profitable.
If they are together, he is willing to buy me a suite, buy a BMW 3 Series car, let me manage the money in the future, the bride price is willing to take 300,000, my mother does not return the bride price is agreed. But he's not good looking, 175 tall, a bit fat, which I don't like.
The other has been working for three years, is the same age as me, is 31 years old, has no money, and has not yet bought a car and bought a house.
I kind of like it, looks ok, the height is good, the height is 175, not fat and not thin, no big belly, for integrity. The two have recently moved in together. But although I like him, I want to live a rich life. I was already with him, but I was thinking of another one.
I am in the system, the current salary is very low, so I would like to find a good financial situation, what should I do? How do I choose? Please help out with your ideas.
Cold Love Reply:
For the dilemma of the above cases, I believe many people have fallen into it. Entangled between bread and love, I gradually developed the idea of "the world's rare two perfect laws, not to live up to the qing".
But as I grew up, I not only met people who got both lives, but also people who could be called winners in life.
How did these people get the envied life of everyone? According to my observation, the vast majority of these people, including me, deserve the life they deserve today.
When a person really understands how these people do it, they will thoroughly understand a word - "Ho De Ho Neng", and thus sigh: "A person must have such positive values and develop such a powerful ability to have such an enviable life!" ”
The heroine of the above case has not yet understood "How To De He Can" and has not found the correct methodology.
Therefore, our topic today would like to provide some methodology, hoping that everyone can move forward with the correct methodology, and elaborating on "Ho De Ho Neng", hoping that everyone will understand this idiom more clearly.
First, what is the root cause of the heroine's dilemma?
From the perspective of mission psychology, we will exist in three different dimensions at the same time, the first dimension is to survive, survive, and seek safety; the second dimension is to live, live well, and seek development; the third dimension is life, live to understand, and seek meaning.
The above case heroine is now on the way from the first dimension to the second dimension. She has two options ahead of her:
Or choose to be with the boyfriend who has no car and no house now, and the two people work hard together to create wealth, and live well from the first dimension to the second dimension;
Either choose to be with another rich suitor, at least on the material level, you can survive from the first dimension to the second dimension at once.
Obviously there are two choices, why does she feel so difficult to choose? There are three reasons for this:
1) No self-improvement, not knowing what you want.
Between money and love, she not only does not know how to choose, but also has no in-depth understanding of love and money.
I feel sorry for this, try to think about it:
How can a person who lives in this world have wealth without a deep understanding of what wealth is?
A person living in this world, if he has not truly understood what love is, how can he judge feelings and manage feelings?
In my opinion, the above-mentioned heroine's liking for the second boy is just a natural attraction, still in the starting stage of the relationship, and it is still far from true love.
But now that the two have begun to live together, it is possible that the matter has entered another track.
Why does a person have such a troubled life? An important reason is that there is no self-improvement.
If a person finds it difficult to make choices, it is usually because of limited cognition, insufficient knowledge of these options, and not enough understanding of themselves.
2) A person's choice is difficult, and there is also pressure from the system and family.
Like the above case, there is the influence of the original family in it. The sentence "My mother does not return the bride price" is a bit difficult for me to imagine.
But I can think of what kind of life she lived, and "working within the system" may already be the ceiling that her family can cultivate for her.
But it is precisely because of this ceiling that her generation does not have many choices.
Family inheritance is sometimes like a three-stage rocket, three generations out of a "noble".
That is to say, the heroine's mother has done her best to cultivate a person within the system; when the heroine does her best, it is possible to cultivate a person with more choices.
By the third generation, you may no longer have to think about whether to choose bread or love, because you can have both.
Every generation has the destiny of each generation, and each generation has the challenges and tasks of each generation.
"Knowing and accepting that each generation needs to have its own creation" is a very important cognition and a very important solution.
3) Did not learn some methodology for deduction.
If you, who are reading this article, are caught in the same dilemma as her, you can use the "imaginary elimination method".
These two choices of life are all listed on the same piece of paper, one on the left and one on the right, and then gradually deduced:
What will it be like after 1 year, what will it be like after 3 years, what will it be like after 10 years, what will it be like after 20 years.....
In the end, you may wish to ask yourself a question: Is such a life acceptable to you?
Because every choice may have its flaws.
Just like the heroine of the above case, if you choose a boy you like, you need to seriously consider it:
Can boys still look good after 10 years? Will it be crippled?
Today's body is good, will the stomach be bigger after 10 years?
If you don't have money today, will you still have no money tomorrow?
These are all high-probability events that deserve serious consideration and writing down.
If you choose another boy who seems to be very rich in the local area, you also need to consider it clearly, because in the future, if the child wants to go to a first-tier city, the three local houses may not be able to afford to change a suite in a first-tier city.
This limitation, the possibility of existence is also very strong.
And judging by the situation he has shown so far, it is possible that he is not single-minded, and can he accept that kind of life?
After analyzing the pros and cons of the dilemma scenario, ask yourself: Which one you want more?
In summary, it is the reason why girls are caught in the dilemma and some feasible methodologies, I hope you can gain something.
Second, let's share another key word - "Ho Tak Ho Neng".
In the face of the above issues, some people will definitely want to ask me: "How can I live a double harvest of career love, and a girl who makes money has a loving life?" ”
In fact, there are three realms.
The first realm is the value of diligence and the development of true professional ability, namely "lower morality" and "lower ability". Notice that the "lower" here does not refer to the poor or bad, but to the lowest realm.
Just like the situation of the above heroine, if she chooses to be with a handsome boy who has no money, she needs to work hard to afford a house and live well.
In order to survive from the first dimension and rise to the second dimension to live well, in fact, there is no room for elaboration, that is, a word - "diligence".
In my own case, I don't want to wake up so early and go to bed so late every day, but I do it every day because of the values of diligence.
Diligence can solve almost every problem, such as diligence can make up for clumsiness. The Tao Te Ching also says, "The sergeant hears the tao and acts diligently." "Sergeant" is diligent, and diligence helps to "walk in the way."
The second realm is: "both inside and outside cultivation", that is, there are "Zhongde" and "Zhongneng".
People who can practice both inside and outside, we can also call them "sergeants".
The so-called "inward" is to arrange the affairs of the two families in an orderly manner. namely:
On the right, let the elderly have support and housing for the elderly;
In the middle, manage good relationships and wealth with husbands; and get along well with relatives;
Right, raise children well and pass on the virtues of the family.
The so-called "external" is to be able to usher in the delivery. You can build a good social circle with your partner, and know how to behave and do things during the New Year's Holidays and major events.
A "sergeant" who "cultivates both inside and outside" can attain perfection in the eyes of the world.
The third realm is: there is "shangde" and "shangneng"
Such a person can be called a "sergeant". But I rarely see such people. They seek eternity and infinity. We will not go into it today.
Therefore, if a person wants to live well, it is best to be able to "cultivate both inside and outside", but if he can't do it, at least he must be diligent.
To sum up, maybe two people are together because they are touched and attracted, but this is only a starting point. If you want to maintain a relationship, you have to learn to do things, learn how to manage a relationship, and learn how to be a woman who is both inside and outside, or at least diligent.
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