Surprising (1): "Life's Joke"

The surprises that life brings me are too surprising. I never thought of being a teacher, thinking that assigning a teacher position was enough to be amazing, but it was even more exciting to follow up, to be a teacher in a kindergarten. After learning this news, I smiled bitterly....... Although I thought about it, it still took a little time to admit the result in my heart. The reason why I really don't want to go to kindergarten: I think it's a place where I punch in the cotton, let alone can't move the "fist". Originally, at noon, I was still thinking about the content of the next day's lecture on the stage: I was ready to introduce the background of the discipline, talk about the positive concept from the concept and perspective of social work, do some psychological construction, and cheer up. As soon as the results came out in the afternoon, the mood was extremely bad, and the emotions were suppressed in the heart. I feel that I am the one who needs to do psychological reassurance the most. The first step is fraught with difficulties. Then there are all kinds of irrational beliefs and reasons fighting and tangling in the mind. Eventually back to reality, the phrase "all come and go" played a big role. Since it is a choice made personally, it must be responsible for it. All grievances and dissatisfaction need to be dissolved and released by the self. When all emotions recede, accept the facts and face life, people can understand, but this process takes time, some people are short, some people are long, and there is no need to be demanding.

Everyone plays a social role, and role-based life is the norm. People in society are all playing a role, corresponding to a set of related social status, rights, obligations, norms, expectations; we are very easy to produce role-oriented expectations, but in real life, expectations are often unsatisfactory. This is the contradiction between "what should be" and "what is", how the world should be and how it really is, and there must be a difference between the two. This gap brings dissatisfaction, unhappiness and other emotions that make people feel very uncomfortable, release outward, burn others to produce conflicts; retaining inward, holding back is more difficult, but it will be aggravated.

American psychologist Albert Ellis proposed rational emotion therapy: people's emotional and behavioral disorders are not caused by a certain stimulating event, but because of the belief caused by the incorrect cognition and evaluation of the individual who has experienced this event, and finally leads to the emotional and behavioral consequences in a specific situation.

Referred to as the ABCDE theoretical model.

A (Activating events) induced events;

B (Believes) Beliefs caused by A (evaluation, interpretation, etc.);

C (emotional and behavioral consequences) The consequences of emotions and actions;

D (Disputing irrational believes) debates with irrational beliefs;

E (new emotive and behavioral effects) The therapeutic effects of new emotions and behaviors achieved through treatment.

Take my feelings about being assigned to kindergarten teaching as an example: A induced event (being assigned to kindergarten); B belief (dissatisfaction with kindergarten teaching, opaque distribution process, coaxing and deception...); C Consequences (no interest in arrangement and explanation, emotional loss, no desire to do anything...) ;D and irrational debates of belief (already so, service and dedication, long, short-term...). E Therapeutic effect (gradually ignoring irrational beliefs, accepting facts, preparing for a new role. ）

Only by seeing the difference in understanding behind the event can we understand the behavior. No one is a saint who can see everything. Momentary behavior is often a concentrated explosion of long-term accumulated beliefs. But after the release, we have to see the other side--- blessings and misfortunes, and no one can say the future and the next second. Emotions are people's operating system, emotions trigger a moment, but it takes a long time to mobilize reason. Emotions are the instinct to survive. Why anger, boundaries violated; why rejoicing, needs being met. Emotions add more color to life.

When everything is strange, the heart has not yet found a support, and memory is undoubtedly the best choice.

Victor Frankl writes: "The inner ripples of reminiscing about the past help prisoners fill in their spiritual emptiness, loneliness, and mental poverty. Thoughts plug in the wings of imagination and return to what happened in the past, albeit often to unimportant trivia. They are blissfully filled with nostalgic memories, pretending to be strangers, living in distant worlds, longing to be able to travel by bus, open the door to their apartment, call back or even just turn on the lights. My mind is often focused on these trifles, and the memories make people cry. ”

Seek the good from the memories, and work hard to cheer yourself on. Find similarities between the present and the past to increase familiarity and comfort and enhance psychological energy.

Talking about kindergarten, I remember the freshman movie "It Looks Beautiful", which made me re-acquaint myself with kindergarten, education, school, etc. The film outlines the behavior of the square gun in kindergarten, a violation of norms and expectations. The core mechanism of the kindergarten is the "little red flower", which is a symbol of status. Do well, develop good habits, etc. you can get small red flowers. In the early days, Fang Gun tried to obtain and integrate, but it could not be obtained and integrated, but it was questioned by the teacher many times. He was the most isolated in kindergarten because he refused to accept assimilation. This is followed by various mischief-making behaviors to brush up on the sense of existence, publicizing teacher Li as a monster among children, bullying other children, and so on.

Kindergarten children correspond to the early childhood period of Erickson's personality octagrammology, a time when children are exploring what kind of people they can become, and children examine various restrictions in order to find out which ones are within the scope of permission and which are not. When behavior is encouraged, children develop initiative; when behavior is questioned, children develop guilt, lack of self-confidence, and lack of initiative. The demonization of teachers and bullying of other children by fang gun increases their sense of group presence, and various initiatives brush their sense of existence. In contrast, other children are taught by the teacher to behave in all their ways, and their non-normative behaviors are restricted, resulting in living in the narrow circle that the teacher has arranged for them.

When children's sense of initiative outweighs their guilt, they have the "courage to face and pursue a worthy purpose, even though this purpose was blocked by childhood fantasies, by guilt, by the fear of losing one's soul to punishment."

The terrible thing about kindergarten in the movie is the suppression of individual creativity by collective personality, and the square gun with initiative repeatedly hits a wall in it. Fang Gun gun thought that running out of the kindergarten could get rid of the "little red flower", but what he saw was the "big red flower" of society. A small society, a large society, is a social norm, not a local characteristic.

The important role of education is socialization, helping students to move from natural person to social person. It internalizes social norms, civilized etiquette, moral and legal systems, collective consciousness, language, writing, etc., which contain the qualities necessary for people's survival in society. Kindergarten children should be at the height of their imagination and curiosity. At this time, the teaching and guidance of many people is particularly important to draw a safety circle for them.

Who will be stronger in terms of human personality and sociality, and personality is sometimes social, and sociality is sometimes personality. But sociality can sometimes suppress the development of individuality.

Family, school, and society run through a person's life. A good teacher directly affects a lifetime. How teachers help children to enlighten and develop their intellect is a unique test of work. Although sometimes some things are still limited, after all, education exists not only to develop creativity, but also to serve other functions. Especially in some places, the importance of other functions is more central.

School standards are sometimes simple. A test paper, a number can set a standard for children. Thus labeling the child, which is "good child", "good child", "bad child"... Label management can indeed save cognitive costs, but the problem that labels are prone to is impression management, and children's behavior will lean towards it. According to Cooley's "mirror me" theory, human behavior depends on the knowledge of the self, and this understanding is mainly formed through social interaction with others, and the evaluation and attitude of others towards themselves are a "mirror" that reflects the self, and the individual knows and grasps himself through this "mirror". Good grades are good children, and the child only values grades and ignores other developments. Labels like "bad kids" also create stigma, creating stereotypes and putting children under great pressure across groups. For example, the "dog-headed military division" label for square guns. As a teacher, every word and deed directly affects students. This is also the reason for emphasizing the style of the teacher.

I don't know how many people like me don't have a love for college majors. But behind it is a strong professional brand, and many ways of thinking will automatically jump in this direction.

Talked a lot, said something more headache. Recently, I have been blinded by the names of the children, the names are long, and the rules of the group of words are unfamiliar. To this day, I don't remember a single one of the more than twenty names. As a person with a very strong name, I have suffered a huge blow at this moment. Behind this is the reason for language habits. In the past, I was in contact with the same name as myself, and the naming rules, the words used, etc., were more familiar. I remember when I wasn't watching the ball before, I thought it was difficult to remember the names of foreigners. But after two years of watching football, many of the names of foreigners have gradually become familiar. Everything has a process from strange to familiar. Hopefully, after a month or two, I'll be able to remember all the kids' names.

If interlacing is like a mountain, then the interlaced language is estimated to be separated by an ocean.

Plans can never catch up with the changes--- the biggest feeling in the first half of this year.

Because I am about to enter the position of teacher and start a volunteer teaching life. I don't know how much excitement and bitterness will come next, but recording real life has always been done.

PS: Not long ago, a friend mentioned that I should update a series of articles on volunteer teaching. There have always been ideas, but how to determine the name has been thought about for a long time. Finally, I don't plan to use the Volunteer Life series, etc., although this may be more appealing. But for some special reasons, I came up with a simple name: "Surprising". One is to show the peculiarities of the experience; the other is to mask some unnecessary inquiries.

Update time on, strive for weekly changes. But the plan can't keep up with the changes, plus he is a "lazy person".

In addition to updating the "Surprising" series, some other content will also be updated with efforts.

Finally, this article could have been written last night, but I never expected that the computer would be black screen, and the file was not saved, and I wrote it again today.