Are you such a person?
Someone else says a word, it may be unintentional, but you have to think about it for a long time.
Pay special attention to unfriendly behavior, and will analyze other people's motivations from other people's behavior, for example, if others close the door louder, you feel that others have opinions about you.
If the message is not replied to, it is doubted that others do not want to reply, and then they will not send it again, in fact, others just forget.
If you are, then you may be a highly sensitive group of people, and you will often hear things like this:
"Why is it so ridiculous?"
"It's too glassy."
Even friends will say, "Don't be too calculating, don't be so sensitive." ”
So you start to fall into deep self-doubt and just want to close yourself off.
But is sensitivity really a mistake?
01
Only 20% of people globally are highly sensitive
The concept of highly sensitive people (HSP) is the first officially proposed by American psychological researcher Elaine Allen in his book, it is worth noting that this is not a disease, but a relatively stable personality characteristic, the five senses of highly sensitive people are extremely sensitive, susceptible to sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch.
In fact, the highly sensitive personality is not a new concept, but before that it has been in other forms of people's vision, such as the introverted personality we often hear, depressive personality, etc.; and with the deepening of research, scholars have found that not all highly sensitive people belong to the introvert personality, and nearly thirty percent of the highly sensitive people are active in social activities, that is, they belong to the extroverted personality.
Elaine Allen believes that high sensitivity is innate, but it will also be induced by mental trauma, in fact, genetic factors, environmental factors and the formation of highly sensitive personality are inextricably linked, some studies have found that in childhood, when parents do not confirm and respond to the child's emotional needs in time, this emotional neglect of childhood environment also plays a certain role in the formation of highly sensitive personality.
Studies have shown that the proportion of HSPs in the population is about 20%. The distribution of men and women is similar – but men are more reluctant to admit it in surveys because the social culture makes HSP men more prejudiced.
02
Are you a highly sensitive group?
Here is an HSP test form, a total of 11 items, you may wish to check it out for yourself:
● It will feel unpleasant to have a lot of things happening at the same time;
● If you experience a busy day, you will want to hide in a less stimulating private space such as a bed or dark room;
● Easy to feel creepy about bright light, strong taste, whistle alarm sound;
● If there are many things that need to be dealt with in a short period of time, you will be overwhelmed;
● Life changes will fall into chaos;
● Irritability with strong stimuli such as loud noises or chaotic situations;
● Easy to be affected by the emotions of others;
● Unpleasant to loud noises;
● At the same time, people will feel irritable when they ask for a lot of things;
● The more things happen around you, the easier it is to be unhappy;
● When you need to compete or be watched by others, it is easy to be nervous and cannot exert your usual strength.
It is said that if a boy meets more than 7 items and a girl meets more than 8 items, there is a high HSP tendency.
In life, HSPs may have the following 10 characteristics.
1) You can't work without sleeping. HSPs can be uncomfortable during sleep deprivation, and they may be more likely to get angry, dizzy, and upset than others.
2) Can't stand the noise. HSPs are easily overwhelmed in crowds or chaos. Going to a party or going to a crowded bar for a major event is a torture for HSPs.
3) Often feel emotional fatigue. HSPs perceive deeper and stronger emotions than others, so they frequently accept and respond to other people's emotions. When HSPs are out all day, they feel like they're on a roller coaster.
4) Will scrutinize social interactions. HSPs are very good at detecting nonverbal cues and analyzing other people's tones, which sometimes makes HSPs over-analyze things and therefore "make a fuss".
5) Easy to be stimulated by violence. HSPs have a strong instinctive reaction to acts of violence and cruelty, and even if they know it's fake, they're upset when they come across something too graphic.
6) It's hard to look forward. HSPs have a hard time letting go, and emotional hurt will always follow them. Intellectually I know it's not a big deal, but I can't help but take it for granted.
7) Failure to respond well to criticism and controversy. Criticism, loud speech, and dissatisfaction with them can hurt HSP deeply.
8) Always give yourself the harshest criticism. Corresponding to the previous point, HSPs will set themselves unimaginably high goals, it is difficult to face their own failures, and feel remorse for their every mistake.
9) Easy to be overstimulated and perform badly under pressure. Time pressures such as deadlines can make HSPs feel extremely anxious, they hate rushing to do something or doing a lot of things at the same time, and they are more content to do projects slowly and focus on one thing.
10) Easy to compromise. HSPs empathize more quickly with someone's situation and therefore often agree to do something they don't want to do. Just to please the people around them and not let them down.
03
High sensitivity is both a problem and a force
While HSPs can run into a lot of problems, it's just as much a force.
For example, feeling and processing emotional cues more keenly makes HSPs more empathetic to others and thinks more deeply about things. Studies have found that this trait is also associated with high-performance behaviors at work, such as conscientiousness, empathy, loyalty, and hard work.
People have different views and beliefs about the same thing, some of which are reasonable and some of which are unreasonable... This can produce many kinds of results. For the same thing, different ideas create different results.
For highly sensitive people, if they cannot change their own characteristics, they can change their long-term entrenched thoughts and habits of falling into negative emotions. Thus, change your life feelings and work situation.
04
How to balance emotions in highly sensitive people
Sensitivity is not useless, do not blame your sensitivity, as long as you can adjust your emotions well, sensitivity is a special gift given to you by God.
So how can highly sensitive people better adjust their emotions?
The first point is to maintain a hobby.
For example, when you were a child, you liked to draw, which can bring you great psychological satisfaction, but then slowly lost it, then you can now pick it up, even if your work task has nothing to do with painting, you can also reward your heart by painting.
By bringing you something to relax, you can wash away the tired heart of the real society. Doing yoga, listening to music, meditating, etc. are all hobbies that calm down emotions very well.
The second point is to regularly limit the time you spend on social media.
Highly sensitive people are prone to over-absorbing other people's information. If you spend too much unnecessary time on social media, you will be easily caught up in the emotional whirlpool, and you will not be able to digest it yourself after being emotionally overloaded, and unconsciously, your energy will be overdrawn.
Therefore, highly sensitive people need to use social media more carefully, you can choose those information that is beneficial to them to absorb, and if you feel tired of the information flow, you must stop the loss in time.
The third point is that many highly sensitive people can't do it, that is, to speak out about their emotional needs.
Many times, highly sensitive people play a role in providing energy to others, and rarely speak up for themselves. In the chat again and again, the emotions of highly sensitive people are easily overdrawn, at this time, we must pay attention to and respect our inner feelings, and we can silently guide the topic to the aspects that interest you.
If the chat content makes you feel very boring and you feel very tired, you may wish to express it directly: "I am not very interested in this, let's change the topic." "
This can save us a lot of inner space and make our emotions more relaxed.
Fourth, define your boundaries with others.
It's easy for highly sensitive people to blame other people's negative emotions on themselves. Let's say if he's upset today because I did something wrong, or if he doesn't talk because he hates me.
If this idea arises, you can ask yourself first:
Do you have to take responsibility for his emotions?
It's his business not to talk unhappily, and I'm under no obligation to pay for his emotions.
Drawing a clear line between others and yourself will reduce a lot of unnecessary mood swings and consumption.
The last point is to hope that highly sensitive people can be more tolerant of themselves.
Highly sensitive people often have high demands on themselves, and if they do not meet the expected high standards, then they will feel guilty and blame themselves. This way of thinking is wrong, habitually looking down on yourself, criticizing yourself, and not loving yourself, will make you fall into the pain of helplessness and inferiority.
So be tolerant of yourself and give yourself a little more encouragement.
END