He Suohuan, a writer of gender-emotional psychology, writes sentient stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
What can make a relationship always "fresh" must be a high enough value and continuous attraction.
The feelings between men and women do not come by "pursuit", but by mutual attraction between two people.
Similar personalities, similar views, the other person's appearance in line with your aesthetic, this is the attraction between each other.
If you rely on giving, relying on pursuit to get the opportunity to be with each other, such feelings may not last long.
When interacting with the opposite sex:
Girls are too easy to chase, boys will think she is more superficial, think she is too easy to get hands on.
Girls are too difficult to chase, and boys can easily lose interest and freshness in her after getting it.
-01
Why are some girls more "difficult to chase"?
First: the threshold for obtaining love is relatively high, and it is difficult to be impressed by a little thing
Some girls, they have good conditions, life has a goal, love for her, in the current stage is a dispensable thing.
Therefore, they will not focus on romance and love, but pursue a better life for themselves.
If she meets a boy who satisfies her, she will try to get along with the other party;
If you have not met the boy you like, then no matter how long the boy pursues her, she will not give a clear response, or directly refuse.
From another perspective:
This is also related to the emotional threshold in the girl's heart.
Some people have high thresholds and it's hard to be impressed by a little bit of a small thing.
Boys pay for girls, buy gifts for girls, she will not necessarily accept; because girls' financial conditions are enough to make themselves better.
There are also some girls who have a relatively low emotional threshold, and it is easy to be touched by the sweet words and a little pay of boys, and rush into love.
Second: Take "hard to chase" as a chip in your feelings
There are also some girls, and their ideas are like this:
"I can't let you easily catch up, otherwise you will certainly not cherish me after you are together; therefore, I will test you, hone your will, make you have a little more patience, and finally promise you." 」
But such a girl ignores a key question:
In the relationship, "difficult to chase" is not a chip, your attraction and your own conditions are the biggest chips.
Why don't boys lie by your side and pursue you bitterly?
It's a process of psychological change.
At first, the boy does like you, because he likes it and is attracted to you, so he is willing to pursue you;
With the passage of time, the boy found that "you are so difficult to chase", but it just happened that this process stimulated the desire to conquer and fight in the boy's heart.
A man is born possessive and conquering, and the more difficult it is to get feelings, the more he wants to try.
Therefore, the boy regards the pursuit of you as a challenge, and the more frustrated he becomes, the more courageous he becomes.
Why?
Because he is not willing to fail, unwilling to accept that his ability is not strong enough.
Under this psychological change, even if the boy pursues you in the end, he will not cherish you.
-02
Why is it too difficult to pursue girls, boys do not cherish?
First: Feelings change with conditions
For example:
You pay 6k a month and buy a 2k phone, you can accept it; but when you buy a 10,000-dollar mobile phone, you have to think about it for a long time.
When your income rises to 10,000 yuan and you buy a mobile phone for 2k yuan, you may not be willing to do it.
At this time, even if you buy a mobile phone for 10,000 yuan, you will not hesitate as you did in the first place.
In feelings, the same is true.
When the boy starts to pursue you, because the choice in his heart is only you; at that stage, that environment, under that condition, the boy can only choose you.
But the time he pursues you, his mentality changes.
If the boy's conditions gradually get better, then he will think that you are "just so".
Boys have a hard time pursuing the girl they like, and after being together, they found that she also had so many shortcomings.
Once a girl can't maintain high attraction, it's easy for boys to be disappointed in the feeling.
Second: the boy's patience is left after chasing you
Everyone's energy, love, and patience in their feelings are limited.
It's like you buy a car.
During the run-in period, you don't know how to cherish it; after the run-in period, maybe the car will have some problems.
At the stage when the two of you first met, you left the boy with a "difficult to chase" and "very cold" image.
Once the two of you are in a relationship, you become slightly worse, and in the eyes of the boys, is the biggest drawback.
The patience of boys consumes too much in the early stage of feelings; after investing in feelings, once the girl does not give the boy emotional value in time, the boy will lose the motivation to continue.
In relationships, "hard to chase" is never an advantage.
A good, confident enough girl, they are more decisive and brave in their feelings; because she has enough confidence and ability to cope with changes in her feelings.
Only girls who lack a sense of security and are not confident enough in themselves will use the "difficult to chase" method to try to trap boys around themselves.
But all emotional maintenance is based on attraction.
Today's Topic:
How long will you pursue someone you like?
(Article with picture source network)