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Give everyone a debut question: Can a fool with an IQ of only 7 years old be a good father?
The movie "I Am Sam" tells the story of such a mentally handicapped father, but in fact it is also a story about wisdom, about the dilemma of parenthood.
I would like to ask, which of us as parents has not felt that we are sometimes like a mental retardation?
"I Am Sam" is a classic business card, won the 2002 Oscar nomination and other awards, Douban score 8.9, perennial domination of Douban TOP250, everyone who has seen it has madly praised this movie:
Nuclear bomb-level tear-jerking, crying to the point where my beautiful pupils were washed away;
Watch it no less than ten times, cry once and laugh once;
Acting is fascinating;
The little girl saw several shots of my heart melted, and I wanted a child...
As the saying goes, a fool has a fool's blessing. Don't look at Sam stupid, but life is happy.
During the day, he works in crowded coffee shops, and although he can't control the "technical work" of coffee, Sam has two great talents – sorting out sugar packets and spreading positive energy.
Look, each sugar packet is his yard of spirit, the cup is upright, the table top is clean... No matter what the customer asks for coffee, he will sincerely praise: wonderful choice.
Sam is passionate and simple, like a ray of sunshine illuminating everyone, and everyone likes him. Who says that greatness is great, and that as small as Sam can shine.
Suddenly, one day, Sam was a father! He rushed all the way to the hospital, first running through the colorful graffiti wall.
Passing through a large mirror-like window, the mirror constantly changes into all kinds of people and things, strange and dizzying.
Passing through this window, Sam will get into the subway to pick up his children at the hospital. In fact, it also symbolizes that he is as innocent as a child and is about to crash into the complex and obscure adult world. When parents are not playful, normal people can't cope with it, not to mention a mentally retarded, really sweat for Sam.
Sure enough, the next day the child's mother ran away, and Sam became a single father overnight. He holds the baby in his arms and gets lost in the crowd when a big sign one way appears on camera.
The ignorant are fearless, and Sam has been a father ever since, and this kind of thing is really something that only a fool can do.
As a parent, having wisdom and temperature is much more important than IQ
Things aren't too bad, Sam only has a 7-year-old IQ, but he has 100-year-old intelligence.
First of all, he is very good at taking names.
The name Lucy comes from a beatles (Beatles) song "Lucy Under the Diamond-Filled Sky", how beautiful, how many straight male dads have this level?
He's also a chicken thief.
In order to get a well-meaning neighbor to help him with the baby, the first word Sam taught Lucy was: Anne (neighbor's name). Anne just smiled and took Lucy and said to Sam: "People are worried that you're not smart enough?!"
He's also particularly cute.
Go out for a meal, Daddy is happier than Baby;
Cooking at home, every time you knock an egg, you have to say: I'm sorry Mr. Egg;
Lucy asked, "Dad, what is Mustard?" “
Sam couldn't answer and said: It's green tomato sauce.
Hahaha, what child doesn't like such confusing behavior.
What's more, Sam knows how to encourage children.
When Lucy forgot her speech, he said, "This section is hard to memorize..." Lucy saw that her father did not blame her, and she also relaxed and immediately remembered.
In contrast, another normal dad, when his son says something wrong, constantly reminds him and corrects him. Sam said he didn't have to embarrass his child so much.
Real hammer, this is a mentally retarded dad.
There was such a dad, Lucy was confident, intelligent, and loving.
Once, Sam read to Lucy, and he couldn't pronounce different. In fact, Lucy would have already done it, but she wouldn't read it. Sam asked her why she didn't read it, and she said, "If you don't read it, I won't read it."
Lucy is as dazzling as a diamond, she has a sharpness and strength beyond her age. For diamonds, it is natural to shine, but at a young age, she has learned that we sometimes choose to make a diamond that does not shine for the sake of our dearest people.
Such Lucy has both a clever mind and a beautiful and innocent mind.
As a parent, having wisdom and temperature is much more important than IQ. The reason why some ordinary people can also raise excellent children is here. From Sam, we see that the wisdom of parents is close, tolerant, interesting, and selfless love for their children.
Can I generate electricity with love?
How warm the first half of the film is, how stinging the second half is.
After Lucy went to school, district education officials discovered the particular family, who decided Sam was incapable of raising the child and took him to court.
Three words and two words, a hammer, a bang, Lucy was sent to the welfare home, the father and daughter were separated.
Sam misses his daughter so much that Lucy can't live without her father. In order to regain his daughter, Sam, a low-energy man who would not order food in another restaurant, trembled and pushed open the door of the law firm, and he was going to fight a lawsuit.
Sam not only found a gold-medal lawyer, but the other party was willing to defend him for free. So a child-snatching war began.
The film develops to this juncture, in fact, from a realistic point of view, questioning whether Sam can be a qualified father.
The same question, the first time, Sam answered us with his and his daughter's 7 years of companionship; the second time, he had to face real-world interrogation.
The courtroom scene in the movie is very exciting.
The courtroom, like the ruthless real world, is a place where everything has to be taken over. Fierce debates on both sides, tension-filled conflicts, just as in our lives, there will always be two voices, two forces, two values at war.
When the judge asked Sam, "Why can you raise your daughter?" ”
Sam IQ was in arrears, he couldn't say a reason, suddenly thought of beatles lyrics, said:
“...... The song was preceded by 'I love you I love you I love you I love you'... My friend told me that without these words, the song wouldn't be as good..."
The song comes from All You Need is Love by Bealtes.
This is Sam. He had nothing, lived in the smallest apartment, earned $8 an hour, couldn't even get the money to buy Lucy a new pair of shoes, and couldn't even read the words in the picture book. But he has the most sincere love for his children, and he believes that as the song goes: All your needs are love. Love can make him a qualified father.
Sam represents an almost romantic idealism, while the prosecution is the opposite, rational and pragmatic. Competent parents must have decent jobs, a good education, and be able to provide their children with all kinds of conditions and resources. In a word, the court does not believe that electricity can be generated with love.
Having said that, however, not all parents have a successful life, there are always people behind, there are always people who are not good enough, are they not worthy to be good fathers and mothers?
There is a detail in the film where Sam goes to see Lucy at a welfare home, and the others chat about each other's recent situation, and every word they say is written down by the staff behind the black curtain wall.
Lucy said to Dad, I just want you to be my dad. After saying that, he turned his head and shouted at the black glass: Did you hear me? Why don't you write it down? I don't want anyone but you to be a dad!
Sam, the mentally retarded in the eyes of others, is the only one in the child's heart.
For Lucy's sake, Sam began to learn to make cappuccinos so that he could earn more money. As a result, the mixer exploded, coffee was all over his body, and the court was late.
For money, he was most afraid of the unfamiliar environment, not only changed to a new job, but also found a part-time job, and even moved to Lucy's foster family. With the money he earned, he bought a second-hand answering machine and studied the instruction manual with painstaking effort. Because he was afraid that when Lucy called, he was not at home, and the child would be disappointed.
Sam could even do it, memorizing large paragraphs of testimony, answering questions "methodically," and pretending to be a normal person in court.
In the final trial, Sam withstood the fierce attacks of the opposing lawyer again and again, not only the language was consistent, the logic was clear, and even the gestures taught by the lawyer did not forget.
The lawyer asked him, "(You don't have a father) Who did you follow in raising Lucy?" Is it the director of the adoption center? “
Sam replied: Myself, I follow my example.
Lawyer: "But, Mr. Dawson, your mind is only 7 years old, why should you be a father?" ”
"Your background, your IQ, you can't even follow the rules, why raise a seven-year-old child, wait until she is ten, thirteen, do you understand?"
"By then she will be six years smarter than you, so why should you educate her?"
A barrage of bombings didn't frighten Sam, who struggled to recall, saying:
"I have a lot of time, thinking about the conditions for success as a parent, what is important is perseverance, patience, listening, not hearing and pretending to hear, what is important is love..."
These words were memorized by Sam with all his brains, but they were full of words coming out of his mouth. Because Sam just can't say nice things, he's doing better than anyone else.
This is the pinnacle of Sam's intellectual life. Although love cannot generate electricity, it can create miracles, do things that are impossible to do in ordinary times, and become a hero in your life.
It was also the highlight of his life. This unforgettable encounter even made Sam understand that love alone is not enough, that he cannot fully assume the responsibilities of fatherhood, and that he must involve capable adoptive parents.
Sam made a mental leap from sensibility to reason.
We all want our children to be excellent, and what is excellent is self-transcendence in ability and spirit like Sam, and the huge strength and IQ behind this have nothing to do with money status.
Simplicity is a strength that our modern people especially need
In the end, Sam won the result of co-parenting with the adoptive family, and everyone was happy.
In the sun, the grass was green and shining, sam was running happily with Lucy in his arms, followed by a large group of children, laughing and jumping. Sam hugs Lucy tightly, and Lucy has regained her wonderful childhood, and neither of them can be separated from anyone.
In fact, parents guard not only the child's childhood, but also the simplicity and beauty of our own hearts.
At the end of the day, Sam's most precious quality is innocence.
Just like at the beginning of the film, no matter what kind of coffee the customer has, he says: wonderful choice. In the same way, no matter what kind of sins life gives Sam, he will always be a wonderful choice.
It is this simplicity and naivety that makes Sam never run away from problems, and always does his best to fight for it. It is not so much courage as courage, he has a pure heart that does not calculate the result, does not care about winning or losing.
Simplicity is a strength that our modern people especially need.
A person with a simple and pure heart can withstand the blow more, because he does not have too complicated calculations, he is not so troubled by gains and losses, and his sense of pain and anxiety will not be particularly strong. Even people who are not so smart can go a long way if they keep working hard.
Simplicity is not only a cute temperament, but also a particularly valuable quality.
Let us in a complex and ever-changing society, with simplicity and complexity, no longer tired;
Let our will be stronger, and we will not be beaten to the ground by a wave;
Let us always maintain a young and fresh heart under the heavy pressure of reality and live a first-hand life.