can stop your emotions,
In order to smooth life.
Author: Insight Domino
I once saw a question on the Internet:
Which part of a moving car breaks down the most to your horror?
90% of people chose the brakes.
Cars that can't brake can cause serious accidents, and the same is true of our out-of-control emotions.
Teacher Li Meijin once wrote in the book "Psychological Support":
Emotions themselves are as dynamic as cars, and allowing them to develop can make people impulsive, crazy, and even destructive;
Emotional management is equivalent to installing brakes on the car, which can control the power of the car.
If a person does not know how to step on the brakes of emotions, life will gradually spiral out of control.
1
Can't stop emotions, it's a disaster
Two days ago, I saw a piece of news.
At 3:00 a.m. on March 23, traffic on a highway in Hangzhou was endless.
In one of the cars, a woman saw a strange female bag in the back seat of her boyfriend's car, and she was suspicious and asked about her boyfriend.
Without getting a specific reply from the other party, she immediately became angry and went forward to pull the steering wheel.
Then the car lost control, and after continuous lane changes, it hit the guardrail.
The man driving the car was also excited, scolded some ugly words, opened the car door and got out of the car, leaving his girlfriend alone there, leaving himself first.
Later, the police came, and the woman said:
"He didn't explain to me who it was, and I was confused and thought it would be a big deal!"
As soon as these words came out, there was an uproar on the Internet.
A little misunderstanding almost led to a catastrophe.
I can't help but think of a tragic case a long time ago.
A couple had a heated argument at home, and the wife slammed the door and planned to drive away.
The husband also came out angrily, standing in front of the front of the car with open arms, trying to block his wife.
Who knew that the wife was angry, and when she saw her husband's behavior, she couldn't help but get angry again, and directly started the car to drive forward, trying to scare her husband away.
The husband slammed the windshield violently, trying to get the car to stop.
But at this time, the wife suddenly lost control of her emotions, stepped on the accelerator under her feet, and crashed into it.
Eventually, the husband died on the spot.
When the police rushed to the scene to investigate, the wife's head was still buzzing.
His mouth was still nagging: "If only I hadn't been so angry at the beginning." ”
Yeah, if you're not so impulsive, you can put on the brakes.
Stepping on that foot of the brake will not only stop the car that starts, but also stop the anger, save the husband's life, and save the consummation of the family...
Indulge your bad emotions and let them spread, and in the end it will only be us who will pay the bills.
Zhang Xiaoxian said:
Things don't go well in life because of temper. There is temper, suffering others, but also suffering yourself.
People who can't stop their emotions are like gas cans that are leaking.
When encountering an open fire that ignites the temper, it only takes a moment to produce an amazing explosive energy, which hurts both others and oneself.
Don't let a momentary emotion ruin your own happiness.
2
Emotionally stable, do life free people
University College London in the United Kingdom once did a study:
Compared with people with optimistic lives, people who love to lose their temper in middle age are 3 times more likely to die.
Because the degree of happiness in people's mood will significantly affect the onset of some diseases in the future, and people who know how to fully enjoy a happy life can live an average of 9-10 years.
It can be seen that the impact of emotions is far-reaching.
When you're young, you may let the magma of emotions flow.
But a truly mature person can stop his bad emotions in time and not be swallowed up by them.
George Rhone was a lawyer who worked for many years and was forced to flee to Sweden during World War II.
When he arrived in Sweden, he urgently needed a job to support himself, and before he learned many languages, he could speak and write, so he submitted a lot of secretarial cover letters.
However, during the war, many companies did not need such employees, and he received many rejection letters.
One of the replies goes like this:
George, you don't know anything about my business, you're stupid and stupid, you can't even write well in Swedish, the letter is full of errors, I don't need a secretary to help me write a letter, even if I need to, I will never look for you!
When George Rorna saw the reply, he was so mad that he ran to the other side and scolded him.
He immediately decided to write a reply to teach this arrogant fellow a lesson.
But after writing, think about it:
Maybe this person is right, although he has learned Swedish, but after all, he is not a native language, maybe there is a mistake of not knowing, the other party's attitude is bad, but it also reminds himself of the need for more deep learning.
So George Rohner turned the "crusade letter" into a thank-you letter.
It is surprising that the other party actually hired him after receiving this thank-you letter.
A resurgence of anger was exchanged for George Rhone's future.
In the "Art of War of Sun Tzu", it is said: "The general has five fatal weaknesses, one of which is that he cannot be insulted and is impatient and angry. ”
Once people are insulted, they are prone to become impatient and irritable, and if they let their emotions get out of control, they will only expose their weaknesses.
Put the reins on this wild horse that is restless inside, and put on the brakes.
Can stop your emotions, in order to smooth life.
3
A good life starts with learning to control emotions
I've seen a documentary about twins:
The older brother and younger brother grew up in the same family environment, but eventually embarked on opposite paths.
What's the problem?
The documentary concludes with the answer – in the control of emotions.
The brother has a violent personality, blows his beard and stares when he encounters a little thing, and he can't sink his heart, and in the end he can't achieve anything.
The younger brother had a gentle personality, treated people calmly and self-sustainingly, and finally entered the university and became a lawyer after graduation.
The environment will provide you with the nourishment to grow, but the specific formation of personality is inseparable from your control of the self.
Learn to step on the signs of expansion and the seeds of anger in order to be able to navigate life.
So, when a garbage truck full of emotions runs, how can you properly hit the brakes?
1. Take a deep breath and give yourself a cooling-off period
In the case of high emotions, the body's hormone secretion will fluctuate, and the excitement of the brain will make you make irrational actions.
Taking a deep breath calms your emotions and returns your brain to normalcy.
This is because deep breathing can stimulate the body's parasympathetic nerve activity, inhibit the secretion of some hormones, reduce heart rate, and slowly calm down emotions.
When you're caught up in anger and can't help yourself, take a few deep breaths!
This way you will save most of the trouble at the source of your emotions.
2. Get out there and divert your attention
David Miles says in his book Social Psychology:
Catharsis does not dispel anger, it only adds fuel to the fire, so when facing your own angry emotions, diversion is a better way than catharsis.
When you are surrounded by bad emotions, you can get out of the house, out of the current environment, to divert your attention.
You can also find another thing that interests you to dissolve the emotions of the moment, reading, painting, sports, can become your choice.
Start cultivating your hobby now, and when emotions start to get out of control, let it be your good mood converter!
3. Learn more and build a high level of cognition
There is a kind of "cognitive behavioral therapy" in psychology, which is to eliminate bad emotions by changing people's thinking and behavior, improving their bad cognition.
When you don't know enough, you will be confined to your own side of the world, like a frog sitting in a well and watching the sky, becoming more and more narrow.
Emotions fluctuate with your cognitive level.
As you read and learn at multiple latitudes, your cognitive level will continue to improve and your way of thinking will be renewed, thus establishing a larger worldview.
At that time, you will find that the previous troubles, emotional struggle points are no longer your troubles.
The threshold for your emotional breakdown will also be raised.
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Liang Shiqiu once said:
When the flesh is boiling, the intellect is not very sober, words and deeds are easy to exceed, and it is not suitable for others or themselves.
The emotional second is the easiest to get out of the mind.
But when we look back at the point where the emotions were out of control at that time, it is difficult to find the same mood fluctuations.
Only oneself is left remorseful or unworthy of the consequences.
Bad emotions are demons that control the path you drive, and if you don't brake it, it wants to take you away.
Learn to put on the brakes of emotion and drive out of the tunnel of negative energy.
Sunshine and flowers will wait for you at the next intersection.
Give it a thumbs up and encourage your friends.