Criticizing, teasing, or belittling can hurt your feelings. You can communicate with people who belittle you and ask them to stop doing it and stop bothering you. You have to learn to take care of yourself and know how to react when this happens.
01.
Fix this matter right away
Avoid reacting immediately
When someone belittles you, don't react right away. A quick response or anger can irritate the other person's behavior. The other person may just want you to react immediately. Also, taking action against anger or other negative emotions is not good for you either. You may do something that you will regret, and you may hurt yourself because of stress.
Take a deep breath or two. This will help you stay calm.
Slowly count to five, while making sure you calm down.
Don't retaliate
You may want to respond with humiliating words, but it will make you look as stingy as the other person. Doing so will only make things more tense and will not really solve the problem.
Just like reacting immediately, retaliation may also happen to hit the other person's heart.
Even if you'd love to do that, don't reply to rude comments or post in harsh language online.
Stop gossiping afterwards. While it may have felt good in that moment, it didn't actually solve the problem.
Ignore it
Sometimes silence is the best weapon. Ignoring those who belittle you will make them lose the pleasure of expecting your response. It allows you to avoid wasting your time and energy on people who aren't worth it. In addition, the other person's bad behavior will be in stark contrast to yours.
Act as if the other person didn't say anything.
Keep doing what you're doing and don't look at each other.
Unless the person is incredibly stupid, they usually leave on their own after being ignored.
Let the man shut up
It's a clear way to let the other person know that you want him to stop belittling you. If ignoring the other person is useless, or if the situation is particularly annoying or hurtful, directly asking him to stop can help you solve the problem.
Make sure you are calm. Look him in the eye and speak to him in a restrained, confident, clear voice.
For example, if a companion insults you, take a few deep breaths and calmly say, "Stop belittling me." ”
To a colleague, try saying, "I don't like or appreciate the way you talk to me and what you say about me." I hope you don't belittle me anymore. ”
If your friend doesn't really want to be mean, you can say, "I know you didn't mean it, but what you said hurt my feelings." Please don't belittle me like that. ”
02.
Develop a strategy
Find out why this person is doing it
There can be many reasons why a person belittles someone else. It's not always intentional, or intentional to hurt you. [6] Understanding the other person's motivations can help you decide how to deal with her.
Some people do it because they are insecure or jealous. They try to make themselves feel better by belittling you.
Some people do this because they want to impress others or want to get someone's attention. For example, criticize a colleague who works in front of your boss.
Others may not realize they're doing it, or just aren't communicating well. For example, Grandma tells you, "This shirt is so beautiful." It covers your big belly very well. ”
Sometimes people don't really want to be mean or hurt your feelings. They may just think it's harmless teasing. For example, a friend calls you "little dwarf."
Draw a line
Some comments are annoying and you can ignore them. There are also comments that are truly mean and hurtful and should be dealt with. Defining this boundary can help you decide how to handle the situation.
For example, it can be annoying when your good brother belittles you. But you know he probably doesn't mean that or really wants to hurt your feelings. Unless things get out of hand, you probably don't want to talk to him about it at all.
But if your co-workers are constantly being outspoken and upset, then you may need to address this issue.
If it's a discriminatory insult or if it happens so often, then the person has crossed the line and should be reported.
Talk to colleagues and peers
People who don't know you well but look down on you may be for bad reasons (or just because they're annoying). Don't make a big fuss, but be sure to let them know it's not good to do so.
If possible, have a private conversation. This reduces her need to "pretend" to others and maintains respect for both of you.
You can say, "During the discussion, you made some harsh criticisms of my ideas. I appreciate constructive feedback, but not insult. Please don't do this again. ”
If she starts belittling you when you're trying to talk to her about it, end the conversation with her.
If this behavior continues or gets worse, you may need to report it.
Be confident with your friends and siblings
While it may be harmless teasing at first, it can sometimes go overboard and you need to tell the other person to stop doing it. Don't laugh when you tell her to stop or fight back. Otherwise she won't take you seriously and that will continue. So when you ask her to stop, be confident and speak to the other person in a calm, clear voice.
For example, "Hahaha. Less coming, big ears" words are not a good way to tell your sister not to belittle you again.
Looking into her eyes, try to say in a calm, serious voice, "Okay." That's enough. I know you find it funny, but it really bothers me, so I hope you stop. ”
If she doesn't stop immediately, tell her, "I'm serious about letting you stop," and then leave. She will most likely follow behind you and apologize. Sometimes, the people closest to us don't know when we're serious.
Respect for superiors
Sometimes parents, teachers, or supervisors will unknowingly belittle us. Let these people know that their debasement annoys you and you want them to stop. This will make the other person realize what he is doing and how you feel about it. It is also an important step in dealing with the situation in the long term.
Talk to the company's HR department to see what advice they have for dealing with the taunts from their superiors.
Talk to him one-on-one if you want. This will make your conversation less awkward.
Try saying something like, "I'm really annoyed when you say my job is stupid. Or, "I know I can't do everything, but please don't call me lazy." It hurt my feelings. ”
If you don't enjoy one-on-one conversations with him, or if you feel he's deliberately demeaning you, you can tell another adult or HR department you trust.
03.
Take care of yourself
Don't go to your heart, don't worry about it
This person's words reflect herself, not you. If she were a happy person, she wouldn't have spent so much time demeaning the people around her. And, she's likely to do the same to other people, not just to you. If you're influenced by her belittling, then she wins. Don't let her words lower your self-esteem or make you feel bad about yourself.
Make a list of your strengths as a way to remind yourself of all the good qualities you have.
Write down what she said to you. For every sentence of derogation, write down three things to prove that this derogatory is not true.
Make a list of all the good things that others say about you.
Use stress management strategies
Having someone belittle you can put a lot of pressure on you, especially if it's the case often. Learn and use some stress-reducing techniques to help you cope with the pressures that belittle you and this thing brings you.
Practice deep breathing and meditation to help you stay calm when you have someone like that around you.
Practice mindfulness because it can help relieve stress and even help you keep someone out when they bother you.
Try doing some physical exercises, such as jogging or swimming, to release stress.
04.
Ask for support
If the person has been belittling you, or is really mean, you should tell someone and ask for help. Tell someone if the person doing it is an authority person, such as a teacher, parent, or supervisor. The people who support you can help you in many ways. They can stand up for you when things happen and even report what's going on.
Tell someone you trust what's going on. Tell her as many details as possible so she can understand the situation. Ask her for help and ask her to help you deal with the one who belittled you.
It can be as simple as finding a friend to accompany you and make the other person stop.
This may mean reporting the person to the relevant authorities.
With positive people
Spending time with people with good attitudes is a great way to deal with the pressure that belittles you with someone who belittles you. This will also help you take care of yourself. Being with positive people can reduce your stress. It can make you forget the person who belittled you and how it made you feel.
Try to socialize and communicate with people who can elevate you.
Don't just talk about the guy who belittles you, you can do something fun!