Talking about "long-distance relationships" always seems to be associated with "breaking up".
It is said that only 10% of long-distance relationships can last, and I have seen many friends around me break up because of long-distance relationships.
Not long ago, a friend told me that he and his ex-girlfriend were facing a different place, so they chose to end the relationship.
The girl proposed the breakup first, which was a bit overwhelming for the boy, because the long-distance relationship had not yet officially begun, and the result was set.
"She said it was because she was scared, because she felt that she simply couldn't be that strong and could hold on."
This is often the most regrettable plot of a relationship,
It was as if the ending had been slapped with a timid slap, and there was not even a chance to reverse.
Many people are afraid of separation, especially those who are close to each other. Because I am used to having his bits and pieces, I am also used to the life that someone around me relies on.
Therefore, it is particularly concerned about separation.
My current boyfriend and I were in high school, and we were assigned to a class at first, but we had also attended summer camp together before.
So, in front of fifty or so complete strangers, he instantly gave me a familiar feeling.
Later, we were together.
On his days, he can not hold an umbrella on a rainy day, and after buying something, he can just tear open the package like a child, because I am tired of eating breakfast in the school cafeteria, he will ask his day students to buy one more copy every day, and then rush to hand me the hot breakfast before early reading.
During that time, visiting the supermarket was for two people, I would get used to helping him buy an extra bottle of milk, he would remember to help me get an extra piece of fruit; eating Chinese food and dinner were two positions, we relied on school bags to identify, the first to go to the queue to buy meals, and later to get soup and paper; walking to the playground was two shadows, going to the cinema was two tickets.
After a long time, there was a strange phenomenon, all the classmates who met me, their eyes would turn around me, if they didn't find him, they would immediately ask: What is he doing, why he is not with you.
At that time we were really like chewing gum on the soles of each other's shoes.
It's happiness again, it's sweet again, and it's inseparable.
Now we've been in a long-distance relationship for almost a year.
His city is Wuhan, more than 800 kilometers from Shanghai.
For lovers in a long distance, the distance between two cities may be the most distant distance in the world.
I've thought countless times over the past long year that it would be nice if he could be by my side.
But what I know more clearly is that I need to muster up the courage to face the city without him, to accept the days without him to accompany me, to break the stones that stand in our way together.
Because we know:
Everything we experience now will be part of what makes us better in the future.
When I started trying to go to the classroom alone and get out of class, sitting alone at my desk in the dormitory, eating breakfast and dinner, I suddenly realized:
Before I met him, I was also a person who did a lot of things.
And at this moment, I know that he is also a person across the screen.
Even so, he was caring about me in the way he could.
I will receive the news: "Tomorrow Shanghai is going to cool down, if you are walking on the street is really cold, go buy a bag of hot chestnuts to warm your hands, last time you told me that there is a sweet chestnut near your school." ”
I know, he remembers those little details I told him.
Remember a sentence I saw before:
Distance is to love like the wind to the fire, it blows out the weak, it encourages the strong.
This may also be the meaning of experiencing a long-distance relationship, the weak flame will eventually be blown out, but the strong flame of mutual trust itself will become more intense.
In this long-distance relationship, we all wish we could be the 10%.
Under statistical data, it can go to the last 10%.
Feelings that have survived a long-distance relationship are more precious, and people who have experienced a long-distance relationship tend to grow more.
In the past year, at first I would only complain about its badness, but after I really accepted it, I began to feel the change it brought me.
I began to learn to get along with myself.
When I meet a very cute dog on the road, I will squint my eyes to look at it twice, and if I have time, I will take two pictures of it.
I went to the canteen to buy breakfast, and when I met that the dumpling was the last one, my uncle gave him to me, and I would secretly rejoice.
Little beauty will make me feel that today is another day of lucky selection.
When I share this with him, I can also get his response from afar.
He would also tell me about his daily life, his stories, and everything he encountered.
As we adjusted to this way of communicating, I began to accept that he was there in another way.
And this feeling we found together also made us a little more confident in holding on to each other.
We certainly miss the days when we wanted to be together for 24 hours of the day before.
But we also began to accept and like the present that we missed each other 24 hours a day.
Fortunately, this sense of distance gives us space and time to each other, and also tests the trust between us.
Instead of choosing to push negative emotions onto each other, we strive to make the small details of our lives now a testament to our love.
I began to understand expectations and cherished our time with each other even more.
Even if it is a separation, the time of the next meeting will be recalculated.
Seeing you again becomes something to look forward to.
Someone once said that the second romantic situation in the world is separation, because after separation, there will be a reunion, and the reunion is the first romantic thing in the world.
I think now we're like experiencing the romance of this reunion.
Maybe that's what makes me really have the courage to have a long-distance relationship.
It's expectation, it's trust.
The "love" chosen by oneself.