Reviewed by: Pan Zhizhong (Affiliated Cancer Hospital, Sun Yat-sen University)
Several test sheets, countless outpatient clinics and hospital halls, my life and family have undergone earth-shaking changes due to rectal cancer.
Accidents: When the "decency" of life no longer comes
Image source: Stand Cool Helo
At the age of 39, I was diagnosed with "low-grade T2 rectal cancer" because of an abnormality found during a coloncoscopy. The attending doctor developed a comprehensive treatment plan for me, first doing chemotherapy and radiation therapy, and during this period, it was also combined with drug chemotherapy to increase sensitivity.
Later, the doctor said that it was possible to do surgery, that is, the life was saved for the time being, but because it was low-level rectal cancer, the anus may not be saved. He said that he needed to do a stoma on my stomach, that is, an artificial anus, and comforted me that at present, due to colon, rectal tumors or trauma, even if there is an stoma, as long as scientific care is done, it is possible to return to normal life.
Although my mind was blank when I listened to these words, I chose surgery for the sake of my family and became a "stoma person".
After the operation, I quietly searched the Internet, "I'd rather die than live with a stoma" was shocking, and I never paid attention to this group, how I never thought that I had become one of them, and I could never go back to the past.
Every day I wish it was a dream, and when I woke up, I could still live my healthy, free, and decent life, but every day I woke up more certain than the day before that I really became an "ostomy man." They all call it "the rose on the belly wall".
At first I didn't like the title, who wants such a rose? Until later, I learned to live in harmony with her, and I knew how to exchange roses for life, which was a great luck.
Second, calm: learn to get used to it, not afraid of the future
In the beginning, the stool came out of control at all, resulting in feces in the stoma pockets, which had to be cleaned in the bathroom a dozen times a day. Sometimes I don't want to come out of the bathroom because I change the ostomy pocket frequently, so that the skin around the stoma is red, swollen and damaged, and there will be hernias.
I really can't stand it, so I went to ask the doctor, the doctor said, mainly because I have not yet mastered the method of defecation, I must consciously train the habit of regular defecation, when I master the law of defecation, I can slowly approach the life of normal people.
Before I got sick, I was a person who was particularly afraid of causing trouble to people, but now I have to add trouble to my family, and I once felt that I was extremely undignified in life, but I had to face it when it became a reality, try to maintain some decency for myself, try to clean myself up, at least let my family rest assured.
People reach middle age, children grow up, parents grow old, my midlife crisis seems to be more violent than others, I don't want to listen to any inspirational chicken soup, greasy and nutritious, during that time I like to stay alone, think that no one will understand themselves, or to be more accurate, I am afraid that they deliberately protect my self-esteem, I become afraid of socializing, afraid that walking by others will make people feel strange, afraid that the dinner of classmates and friends will become embarrassing because of me.
During that time, I spent more time with my children at home, and I paid more attention to him, and I found that children really live naturally in the present, maybe crying for one minute, and the next second they are happy because of fun things, eat when they are hungry, and speak out when they are unhappy, it turns out that they are the best teachers, they are really "not thinking about the past, not afraid of the future". I began to learn his rhythm and "grew up" again in his company.
Every day, with the assistance of my lover, I practice how to replace the stoma pockets, and again and again, I always think of changing my son's diaper when he was born, so sometimes I joke that "I am alive and back again".
From the beginning of the hand-wringing, to the later skillful technique, I also began to try to coexist peacefully with this guy who was a little annoying but did me a lot of help, I also learned the correct method of pocket replacement with the nurse of the ostomy clinic, and there was a widely spread "one preparation, two clean, three measurements, four paintings, five cuts, six glue, seven pastes, eight buckles, nine checks, and the stoma paste is good and firm!" ”
I also joined the hospital's "Rose Covenant" patient group, at first I was quite embarrassed, a big old man went to the "Rose Covenant" to listen awkwardly, but after a few times I began to slowly like here. I no longer felt abandoned by life, and I seemed to have found another way to live. There are many stoma people who have returned to work and travel from time to time.
Third, experience: I have become a small expert in nursing stomas
I often talk to people about how to get this guy and make it as little as possible, I used to listen more and learn more, and now I am also starting to share experiences with new friends.
Usually, I use gauze or cotton balls dipped in warm water to wash the stoma and the surrounding skin, first from the outside to the inside, and then dry thoroughly, without using any soap or disinfectant during the period.
Mainly because they can dry out the skin, which can easily cause damage and also affect the adhesive's adhesion.
Ostomy people can also take a bath, generally I will cover the stoma with a pocket, or simply take away the stoma pocket, in fact, do not have to be nervous, the stoma is not a wound, just like the oral mucosa, it is not afraid of water, but try not to scrub hard, and must use neutral soap when bathing.
During this period, I was most worried about the fear of odor, and later learned that in fact, I could reduce the production of odor in the stoma area through diet. When we were training in the ostomy nursing clinic, the nurse told us that when various enzymes in the intestine are involved in breaking down food, they will produce gas and be discharged from the stoma, which is actually a normal physiological process.
In general, very few odors escape from the stoma. However, when diarrhea, abdominal discomfort or excessive consumption of inappropriate food, it will produce a heavier odor, such as excessive consumption of eggs, soy products, green onions, garlic, beer, etc.
I will try to eat as little as possible, but not completely, in addition, I will eat more yogurt or chlorophyll-rich vegetables, etc., the nurse said that this can reduce the odor.
During this time, I also traveled a few times with the encouragement of my family. Although the travel time was not long, it was too good for me, and I could still look at nature like before.
During my trip, I opted for a more care-friendly stoma, a two-piece drain bag that was both sturdy and easy to replace. When I go out to travel, I pay more attention to my diet than usual, mainly because I am afraid of causing diarrhea, so I will prepare some medicines with me.
Fourth, the use of colosotomy pocket guide
I'm going back to work next month, but I'm ready and will give myself the time and patience to adapt. I have learned to live in harmony with this "rose" on the abdominal wall, because I love my family and life more than anything else.
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