A few days ago, I brushed to CCTV's "Moving China 2021 Annual Person Awards Ceremony", in addition to the well-known famous physicist Mr. Yang Zhenning and the "Asian flyer" Su Bingtian, I accidentally saw a little girl in her early 20s, Dr. Jiang Mengnan, a young girl.
It turned out that this girl with a beautiful smile, in the case of not being able to hear from childhood, through her own efforts, with the tenacity of ordinary people, overcame many difficulties and was finally admitted to Tsinghua University to study for a doctorate.
Her is not easy to imagine, but I am more curious about how the parents of this child "taught" it. In other words, how to "survive" it, they not only "boiled" down with great perseverance, but also so fruitful and cultivated such excellent children.
As the host Jing Yidan said: the first glance at Jiang Mengnan, "I am particularly eager to know what kind of people your parents are." How much learning ability they have to have to teach you. ”
You must know that even if the child is sound in all aspects, we often feel weak and frustrated, not to mention facing the child whose hearing has almost completely disappeared, and such a mental process must be unbearable for ordinary people.
After watching a lot of interview videos and materials, I was really touched by Jiang Mengnan's parents.
This is a pair of parents who love their children deeply and know how to love their children correctly, with perseverance, wisdom and foresight.
01
In order to let the child speak,
They chose a difficult, unknown path
Jiang Mengnan is not born with hearing impairment. At birth, Jiang Mengnan was a healthy baby with normal hearing.
His father, Zhao Changjun, and his mother, Jiang Wenge, were both school teachers, and they had great feelings and regarded this child as a treasure.
Unfortunately, it began with a pneumonia, because of the wrong medication, Xiao Mengnan's left ear lost 105 decibels of hearing equivalent to the sound of the helicopter taking off, and the right ear completely lost hearing, and was diagnosed with extremely severe neurogenic deafness.
The couple had difficulty accepting this reality at first, and ran several major hospitals for follow-up consultations, and the results were the same. The doctor's reply was: "At present, there is no way in the world." ”
The only thing you can do is teach sign language and live like most deaf children.
Moreover, judging from the severity of Mengnan's situation, buying hearing aids is a waste.
Such a blow is undoubtedly huge!
In the interview, Mengnan's mother said that the idea of the two at that time was: "If there is a hearing nerve transplant technology in the world, we are all willing to transplant normal auditory nerves to children." “
Unfortunately, many times, even if we want to suffer for our children, we have to face reality.
But facing reality is even greater pain.
When the couple had to prepare for the worst for their children in advance, they visited a local special education school. Once again, they felt the inner struggle.
"The whole classroom was silent."
"Those children have given up the possibility of speaking and learn sign language with their teachers."
When Mengnan's father recalled this experience, he told his "little secret" to the camera.
"I had a sense of vanity. I am also a cultured and knowledgeable person, and I don't want my children to be different from others... Before the birth of the child, I thought, my child, I will definitely train him to become at least a key university, even Peking University, Tsinghua University. ”
When we first became fathers and mothers, we probably all had such "inner dramas". Such "vanity" is real and grounded.
But once you accept the reality that the child is completely deaf and send the child to school for the deaf and dumb, such a wish is almost impossible to achieve.
"I'm such a daughter, to be honest, I'm not willing, of course, I also lost my mind a bit."
At this time, a sentence from Mengnan's father's sister who studied medicine reminded them: although they can't restore their hearing, they can be a dead horse as a live horse doctor, even if they can't succeed, there are no regrets.
The two then bought hearing aids for Xiao Mengnan and talked to her over and over again, but the result was: "There was no reaction at all." ”
What people fear most is not hard work, but seeing no hope. Like the night has no end, walking in a cave without seeing an exit.
No matter how hard the two worked, Xiao Mengnan still "didn't react at all", which made the couple "heart is cold".
In fact, according to the local policy at that time, Zhao Changjun and his wife could have another child. Many people around them also advised them to send Mengnan to a special education school and ask for another one. But the couple refused, saying only: "Give all your love to your daughter."
Letting children speak is too simple for ordinary people, but because of them, they have chosen a more difficult and unknown path.
02
"Stupidly insisted" saw hope
Hope appeared when Mengnan was 1 year old and 4 months old.
That time, the couple once again took Xiao Mengnan to Beijing to see a doctor, and the result was of course "no way".
When they were ready to pack their bags and return, Xiao Mengnan accidentally rolled a ball into the distance, and in a hurry, he called out twice.
Those are two notes similar to "Mom."
It was the first sound the couple heard from their daughter's mouth, and it was "the best sound in the world."
After that, the despair was swept away.
Later, in an interview, the host asked if they had ever thought about giving up, and Zhao Changjun and his wife recalled that the most difficult thing was that the child did not make any sound before it made a sound, but after that sound, they did not want to give up.
Because they firmly believe that if their daughter can make a sound, she will be able to learn to speak.
In the beginning, they held their daughters and talked in the mirror every day, so that they could see their mouth shape clearly.
They started with the simplest syllables, taught her how to lay her tongue out, and then let her touch Mom and Dad's throat, feel the vibration of the vocal cords, put her hand in front of their mouth, and feel the air flow as she spoke.
Over and over again, tirelessly, in the couple's words, "endlessly.".
"One word, read ten thousand times I can learn, parents are already very happy." There may be some mouth shapes that are very similar to sounds, flowers, melons, and I have to put my hands near their mouths to feel these streams of air. Flowers, there is airflow, melon, no. It takes feedback many times to slowly develop such a muscle memory. Jiang Mengnan recalled.
As for whether this method is useful in the end, the subject is not scientific, and the two people actually have no bottom in their hearts.
Mengnan's father said that he was "stupid to insist", but as long as there is a little hope, he will never give up, for the sake of his daughter, but also for his own "no regrets".
It turns out that many times, the method is not stupid and clever, but whether it can be consistent for ten years. No matter how "stupid" the method, insisting on ten thousand times tens of thousands of times of practice, can also blossom and bear fruit.
Now Jiang Mengnan, face-to-face communication with people is basically no problem (need to observe each other's mouth type), although the mouth is still a little less fluent, but there is almost no impact on communication.
Of course, in this process, Mengnan's father and mother are also constantly learning and optimizing methods. The mother said that for her daughter, it seemed as if she was carving a work of art, "I was always carefully observing and analyzing her words and deeds." “
Mengnan's mother used the summer vacation to learn speech rehabilitation skills for deaf children in Changsha, and she took the "speech rehabilitation teacher" certificate, which is also the first such certificate in Yizhang County.
Jiang Mengnan's father bought back all the books he could buy for ear and speech rehabilitation, and studied hard. Finally, he sorted out a "Feasibility Report on the Establishment of a Speech Rehabilitation Guidance Institution for Deaf Children in the County" and handed it to the Chenzhou Disabled Persons' Federation.
Not only for his own daughter, but also want to promote his own practice and research to more children.
"The benevolence of the teacher" is really remarkable.
03
Mastering the "ability to learn" can go further
Jiang Mengnan's father and mother's persistence and extraordinary perseverance are touching, but what impressed me was their educational wisdom, especially Jiang Mengnan's father.
As he himself said: "[I] am relatively more far-sighted than my mother, more suitable to be the head of the family, the handsome in the family, responsible for guiding the direction." ”
Choosing to let her daughter "be a normal person" meant overcoming ten times a hundred times more difficulties.
One obstacle that can't jump is "going to elementary school". If you want your daughter to enter a public elementary school, will any school accept it?
What can be done is to let the child catch up in advance, not only to listen and say to catch up with the level of normal children, but also to prepare in advance in reading, writing and literacy. "The stupid bird flies into the forest first", this is the truth that Mengnan's father taught his daughter from a young age.
After ultra-high intensity intensive training, Xiao Mengnan has mastered pinyin before going to elementary school, and she can also read more words than children of the same age.
But even so, no normal elementary school would accept her, so that when she reached school age, Mengnan had to attend preschool for an extra year. "There's a scene where I was very impressed, my preschool was with my elementary school, and there was a step in the middle of them, and the elementary school was above the steps, and my preschool was under the steps. I stood on the steps and saw other people of my age climbing up the steps to go to elementary school, and I went down the steps myself, and I cried on the steps. "My parents comforted me and told me that not hearing was an established fact, and that instead of complaining about others, it was better to use my best efforts to overcome this."
Fortunately, Mengnan's ability was finally recognized by the school and teachers, and she finally entered the public elementary school. But it is extremely difficult for a child without hearing to catch up with the normal teaching speed of the teacher. Zhao Changjun and his wife set a rule: all homework, give your daughter a lesson in advance. Whether it is a normal day or a holiday, as long as there is time at home, it is "arranged". Throughout the primary school stage, Mengnan's homework is to complete the study in advance. Until the fourth grade, Mengnan maintained the top three grades in the class. During the summer vacation of the fourth grade, she had already completed the fifth grade curriculum, passed the school test, and jumped directly to the sixth grade.
At the beginning of Xiaosheng, Mengnan took the second place in the city. She offered to go to Chenzhou No. 6 Middle School, more than 300 miles away, and "can't always live under the protection of her parents."
The couple struggled but eventually decided to respect their daughter's choice. Zhao Changjun understood that his daughter still had a long way to go in the future, he could not always accompany his daughter, and the teacher could not have the energy to take care of his daughter's studies like himself.
Therefore, the most important thing is to let the daughter master the "ability to learn", so that even if she leaves herself, or even leaves the teacher, the daughter will be able to learn well. "When I was a child, I asked my father about math problems that I couldn't do, and my father would say: I won't tell you the answer, you can turn the book yourself." Jiang Mengnan recalled.
Zhao Changjun has always hoped that his daughter can truly accept herself, everyone will encounter difficulties, hearing impairment, is only one of the countless difficulties in life. It's like " Some people are nearsighted and need to wear glasses." Some people have bad legs and feet, so they have to use crutches. ”
"You are no different from others, everyone has a problem and needs to overcome it themselves."
In 2011, Jiang Mengnan was admitted to the School of Pharmacy of Jilin University with a score of 615 points. In 2015, she was admitted to Jilin University for a master's degree in pharmacy.
In 2018, Jiang Mengnan was admitted to the School of Life and Sciences of Tsinghua University for a Doctorate, specializing in tumor immunology and machine learning. The goal of the future is to use what we have learned to cure the sick and save people.
Write at the end:
Talking about Jiang Mengnan's story with friends, I was very sad: This is not easy for parents, how to do it?
I noticed a detail in the interview, whether it was asked about the most difficult moments, or talking about the credit of this family, the couple always had eye contact, one talking, the other looking at each other, very loving and tacit understanding.
Husband and wife are concentric, there is no internal friction, and the energy and wisdom of the two people are well coordinated and superimposed, creating a very large energy field for the child.
In Jiang Mengnan's body, perhaps extraordinary efforts and persistence have created miracles, but it must also be, love, parents' love for their daughters, love between husband and wife, and children's love for their parents, and jointly created a "miracle"!
(Source: CCTV "Face to Face" column, Changsha release, etc.)