Hello everyone, I am Ah Yu, welcome to Ah Yu Love Science. Write emotional words that take away the heart, hoping to use the words with temperature to bring you some spiritual comfort.
The other day, my girlfriend said that a colleague she knew had remarried, this colleague was an older professor than her, and when he was with his ex-wife before, he was preoccupied with work, basically ignoring anything at home, his wife followed him to a particularly frugal life, and everyone thought he was a particularly old-fashioned person. However, less than half a year after the divorce, he remarried with a girl who was 10 years younger than him, not only generously, but also often saw him come out to buy vegetables and take out garbage, which they all felt was particularly incredible.
In fact, many times, it is not men who are thin-hearted, usually women are too stupid, and many times men's laziness and badness are women's habits.
In psychology, there is a "Pygmalion" effect, which roughly means: the attitude of the person you love and with whom you have intimate interactions, and even all his words and deeds towards you as a person, are actually carved by you.
In the TV series "Snail House", Song Siming's wife is a typical example, Mrs. Song followed song Siming from the single dormitory, and later had a daughter, she took the child alone. Song Siming went abroad for further study, and the family was taken care of by Song Tai alone inside and out. From the family that Song Siming's hometown subsidizes, to the medicine that her in-laws need to send when she is sick, and even the money for the birth of Song Siming's niece, she is in Zhang Luo. Mrs. Song said: "In the poorest days, I took Tingting back to my mother's house to rub rice and used my mother as a nanny to spend until today..."
According to the traditional standards for women, Mrs. Song is definitely a good wife and mother, but such a woman who thinks about her husband everywhere does not get more love, but connivs at him to give love to other women, and even the money scavenged after stepping on her mother's traces is also taken to coax other women.
When Mrs. Song found out about Song Siming and Seaweed, she also cried and wanted to divorce, but Song Siming told her: "You are my lifelong partner, and when we are old, we will still be each other's crutches!" ”
It is such a sentence that Mrs. Song understands song Siming's commitment to herself, so after her husband's accident, she chooses to advance and retreat with him. She had always thought that Song Siming still loved him, or was not willing to give up this family, and their family shared the same fate. At this time, we must stand together and stay together.
But even though she had paid so much, Song Siming still didn't love her, and just a little bit could see how silly and naïve Mrs. Song's blindly consumed feelings were. Song Siming's embezzled money let her store it, but she did not let her spend it, and over the years she carried the money, unable to sleep at night, worried. And Song Siming is different from seaweed, everything is hidden from seaweed, he is about to step down, and gave her 5 million, showing a calm and stable appearance in front of her, so that she does not have the slightest worry.
Tu Lei once said: "A man is willing to spend money for a woman, he may not love her, but a man is not willing to spend a penny for a woman, he must not love her." Money is not the only way to express love, but it is a very important way. ”
01 All savings are just to fulfill the promises made
Netizen Zhang Min and her husband Li Peng (pseudonym) are college classmates, when they learned that Li Peng's family is in the mountains, Zhang Min's parents resolutely opposed, they can not watch their only daughter jump into the fire pit, but the parents are not optimistic about the love, most of the opposition is invalid.
After graduating from university, with the support of Zhang Min's parents, Li Peng took root in the city. Fortunately, he worked very hard and was promoted to the position of deputy director of the department after 5 years of climbing in a well-known company, but he was not satisfied with this, but chose to resign and go it alone after accumulating certain resources.
Entrepreneurship is not all smooth sailing, Li Peng's company just started when it also experienced a lot of difficulties, at that time in order to let him have no worries, Zhang Min left his parents with an emergency dowry of 600,000 to support him, in addition to financial support, as a financial background, Zhang Min even quit his job to help Li Peng manage the accounts.
Finally, with the efforts of the husband and wife, the company gradually improved, and Zhang Min was promoted to mother at the age of 31.
In order to give her children better companionship, Zhang Min rarely went to the company since then, at most, at the end of the month to help when the account was tied, but it was precisely because of this decision that her life began to plummet.
Zhang Min, who has no job, has become a full-time mother who receives living expenses from Li Peng every month, and the entire expenses of her and her children are priced at 8,000 yuan. Thinking that the company is also on the right track, the annual profit is almost 1 million or so, although it is not a rich person, but at least it is also middle-class, so Zhang Min proposed to let Li Peng give more points, but Li Peng said: "8000 is still less, the money is saved, you see my parents sometimes use less than 800 yuan a month." ”
Under the baptism of Li Peng's woman who has to learn to be diligent and thrifty, Zhang Min basically uses very ordinary things for her children, and she rarely buys new clothes, after all, 8,000 yuan in addition to the child's milk powder and diapers can not withstand her willful consumption.
When he got married, Li Peng promised to buy a big villa for Zhang Min when he had money in the future, so in Zhang Min's view, Li Peng's savings were on the one hand affected by his childhood habits, and on the other hand, he was to save money to fulfill his original promise.
02 Men's needs are different at different ages
Mrs. Song has a sentence in the play, saying that men: "You need stepping stones when you are young, you need a strong needle in middle age, and you need crutches in your old age." ”
Zhang Min has always thought that he can also be regarded as Li Peng's wife of chaff, plus he is a man who covers his wallet very tightly, such a man will most likely not mess around, after all, now when the girls of the third grade are not for money, until she accidentally saw a transfer record and found that her idea was too naïve.
Zhang Min had planned to spend more than 20,000 yuan to enroll in an early education class for her children, but Li Peng had a big fight with her for this, thinking that she thought about how to spend money all day, and she didn't know how to make money, so since then, Zhang Min has not even bought a bag of more than 1,000 yuan, let alone like other women to apply for a yoga class or do a beauty card. Since returning to the family, even every time he went back to his mother's house to buy some small gifts, Zhang Min had to look at Li Peng's face and act.
Once Zhang Min's father had a birthday, she pulled Li Peng back together, when she bought the cake, her mobile phone was out of power, and then let Li Peng help pay, and when she was preparing to scan the code, her son ran away, because he didn't want to mention the cake, so Li Peng chose to chase his son and handed the mobile phone to Zhang Min. After paying the money, Zhang Min casually slid up the payment record, and saw that there was a consumption record of a certain shopping mall, and the amount was more than 10,000 yuan.
Out of respect for her husband, she never rummaged through his mobile phone, but this side of the bill really made her wonder, like Li Peng, a man who cut the door, when did he go to the mall to spend such a sum, and the focus was not to see what he took back from home. Driven by curiosity, she took advantage of the fact that Li Peng coaxed her son not to return, she quickly clicked on his chat history, out of the woman's sixth sense she quickly targeted a girl's head in a master's uniform, and sure enough, the money was spent for her, buying a latest bag.
Thinking that he gave his father a birthday and deliberately ran around a large circle to order a cake, only because his friend had this membership card to rub a discount, and his husband, who stressed to himself every day not to spend money indiscriminately, was so generous to other women outside, Zhang Min felt particularly ironic.
03 The country is easy to change, and the nature is difficult to move
So Zhang Min took the bill and found Li Peng, and she asked him: "You give me 8,000 a month, how much do you give to others?" ”
I thought that Li Peng would panic, but he acted particularly calm, took the mobile phone as expected, and then slowly told Zhang Min: "You are my wife, this will never change." ”
Not to mention that Zhang Min has never suspected that Li Peng will betray herself, since she was at home full-time, she has never thought of leaving him, first, she loves him very much, and second, she feels that she can't do without him, although the living expenses of 8,000 yuan per month are a bit not enough, but if she lets fu idle at home for a few years, she will probably not earn 8,000, it is precisely because of this sober cognition that Zhang Min will obey Li Peng's words.
Li Peng's words obviously hit the weakest place in Zhang Min's heart, and she was originally planning to be hysterical, and she suddenly fell in place.
At this time, the family called to let them hurry back to eat, Zhang Min looked at the cake in her hand, she felt that she had never felt ashamed of her parents.
In order not to worry his parents, although Iranomi was absent-minded, he also tried not to behave too badly. Li Peng, who was caught in the pigtails, did not restrain himself, and he acted as if he had slammed the door, not only did not send any birthday gifts, but even the money for the meal was paid by Zhang Min's parents.
If Zhang Min still had a little memory of this marriage before the meal, then this meal destroyed all her fantasies, what else could she give up for such a selfish man?
Maybe she went out to work to earn less than 8,000 yuan, but she could at least get back the house her parents bought and the original dowry of 600,000 yuan, plus the child support of her son, he had to pay every month, with which she would definitely be able to raise her son very well. At least if she works to earn money, she can give a gift on her parents' birthday next time.
04 Women have to learn to live for themselves
When Minglan married Gu Tingye in "Know it or not", he said a sentence: "There is no one in this world who is the backer, he is a good person, and he cares about me, this is very good, but it is best not to expect too much from people in everything, everyone has difficulties of each person, it is really too much to count on, it is inevitable that there will be some disappointment, disappointment, resentment, hatred, this day will be sad." ”
Deeply believed, look at the women around those who live well, most of them know how to live by themselves, once the man is regarded as your day, attached to him, it is easy to lose the ability to earn money, lose themselves in marriage, women can finally rely on themselves.
In the family, except for blood relations, other relationships are fragile. Being together is husband and wife, separated, are two unrelated people. The establishment of feelings sometimes takes five years, ten years, or even longer, but it only takes a moment to fall apart.
In marriage, women have two states that are particularly frightening:
One is to love too deeply, to the point of completely losing oneself. Since then, the man has said what it is, and he has been willing to say it without complaint.
The more you do that, the more he will gain. Don't expect that the more you give, the more you get, feelings are never unreasonable, most of the time, if you spoil a person too much, he will definitely be spoiled by you.
The second is to swallow the anger, no matter what injustice is encountered, always do not say a word, and choose to endure in silence.
You feel that more things between husband and wife are better than less, and some things are put up with for a while, and you don't want to argue with men. But the more you give in, the more he will become more aggressive. Step by step, step by step. Unprincipled concessions will not solve the problem, and the weak will never be bullied.
Life is ultimately your own, and the appearance of all other people in life is not to take away your life from now on, but only to add luster and vitality to your life, so women must learn to live for themselves at any time.
Listen to thousands of stories, know the cold and warm in the world, I am A Yu. Record the bits and pieces of love with words, welcome to comment, leave a message, and talk about your heart.