There is a hot question on Zhihu: How much impact will the bad example of parents have on children?
There is an old Chinese saying: "Take advantage of the small and eat big losses", people who often take advantage of small profits will sooner or later suffer big losses, and there are always some people in life who like to take advantage and feel that they have got some small profits.
1. The mother took the child to try to eat durian and was stopped by the staff
Yesterday, I went to the supermarket with my friends to buy things, and when I walked to the fruit area of the supermarket, I saw a mother and son and the supermarket staff arguing, and everyone was watching from the side.
My friend and I walked over to see what was happening, next to a big mother was complaining to others about what happened, it turned out to be a supermarket durian to try, the staff cut a box of durian and put it next to the durian, the mother came with the child, the child saw the durian could not move his eyes, the mother let the child pick up a toothpick to eat.
Under normal circumstances, everyone try to eat fruit is to eat one or two pieces, did not expect the child to directly pick up the box to eat, about a few minutes later, most of the box of durian is gone, supermarket staff to see this situation to stop, did not expect that the mother directly quarreled with the staff, she also said to complain to the staff, now the two are waiting for the supermarket supervisor to deal with this matter.
After about two minutes, the supermarket supervisor hurried over, the supervisor asked what happened, the staff told the supervisor about the matter, the supervisor patiently said to the mother: "This customer, your behavior is indeed not in line with our regulations, if you eat the durian, then our activities can not be done, our daily dispatch is limited." ”
Hearing the supervisor's words, the mother was very angry, and she shouted: "Don't you just eat a little broken durian from you?" It's not that I don't buy it, and besides, my son is only five years old, how much can he eat. ”
Suddenly the child standing next to his mother rushed out, he hit the staff with his hand, shouting "You bully my mother, I want to kill you", the staff was pushed directly by him and hit the fruit table, I felt that she was in pain from a distance.
This move of the little boy made the onlookers unable to watch, everyone accused the little boy of no education and no quality, and some people said that the greedy mother could not educate a good child, so the mother apologized to the supermarket.
The mother who was accused of it felt very embarrassed and dragged the child away, which caused me to think, there is a pair of parents who love to take advantage, what will the child experience?
2, love greedy and cheap people, will make children feel very ashamed
When I got home, I posted what happened at the supermarket to the parenting group and asked the other mothers in the group what they thought.
Mom Peach: Oh, this kind of thing is humiliating, oh my God, I will never let my peach do this, and the child will buy it if he wants to eat it
Tao Tao Ma: This is not affecting the order of the supermarket, if I kick them out, it is better to talk to them in a good voice
Yue Yue Mom: I have always taught my family not to take advantage of small things, not to take advantage of small profits and eat big losses
JingJing Mom: When I was a child, my mother loved to take advantage of small profits, and always quietly packed more for herself after buying vegetables and checking out, and every time she followed her to buy vegetables, she felt ashamed.
Jing Jing's mother's speech reminded me of a TV series "The First Half of My Life" that I had watched, Luo Zijun's mother bought vegetables at the supermarket where the second daughter Luo Ziqun worked, and when she bought broccoli, she picked up the vegetable leaves of the broccoli, and also brought a knife with her to cut off the roots of the broccoli, and her daughter Luo Ziqun advised her to tell her that it was too humiliating to do so.
If parents like to take advantage of small things, especially in front of their children, children will feel very ashamed and do not want to go out with their parents.
3, children will also learn the love of their parents to take advantage of the small
Parents are the child's first teacher, many of the parents' behavior children will feel right and unconsciously learn the parents' behavior of taking advantage, in my high school, there is a female classmate who especially likes to take advantage of the small, as long as there is a small advantage, she will take advantage.
In the afternoon, when she was eating, she did not buy rice in the name of not being hungry, and when she bought the meal at the same table, she said: "It is fragrant, can you give me a bite to eat", she will eat it again after eating a bite, once the most excessive time, she bought a bread at the same table and put it on the table and went outside to receive water, after returning to the bread, she also said solemnly: The bread is not delicious.
This female classmate was not very popular with other students at that time, the popularity is very poor, my aunt and the classmate's mother work in a company, the aunt said that the classmate's mother likes to take advantage of the small, in the company often let others help bring coffee and then do not give money, the company sent something, she had to give herself a little more.
Children learn that parents take advantage of small profits, may indeed have small profits at the moment, but after a long time, children may suffer big losses, such as the child's popularity will become worse, or the child will be isolated by classmates, etc., these are not good for the child, so what should parents do?
4. Lead by example to raise children
Parents' behavior has a great impact on children, parents must lead by example to educate children, do not be greedy and cheap in life, the story of a bowl of poached eggs everyone should have heard, the first day the father cooked two bowls of noodles, a bowl of surface has a poached egg, the other bowl is not, the child looked at a bowl with poached eggs and stretched out his hand, the father asked him: "You can't let the father, you want to learn Kong Rong to let the pear", the child said: "I am not Kong Rong, do not let the pear", he took away the bowl of noodles with poached eggs, did not expect to eat to the end, Dad actually had two poached eggs in his bowl, and Dad said: "Children remember that people who want to take advantage of them may never be able to take advantage."
The next day, Dad still cooked two bowls of noodles, a bowl with poached eggs on it, a bowl of no, the child served the bowl that did not, said that he wanted to melt the pear, did not expect to eat to the end, the child's bowl of rice, there is really no poached egg, Dad said: "Children, people who want to take advantage, will often eat big losses."
On the third day, Dad still made two bowls of noodles, one bowl has poached eggs, one bowl does not, the child said: "Daddy, you are the elder, you eat first", Dad took the bowl with poached eggs, the child calmly took up no poached eggs, did not expect to eat to the end, the child's bowl actually has a poached egg, dad told the child: "People who do not take advantage, life will not let you suffer losses." ”
Parents must educate their children not to take advantage of small, this is the child's upbringing and quality, a person wants to succeed, absolutely not to take advantage of it, parents should cultivate children from an early age not to take advantage, to the child for the best tutoring.