Before having children, I really did not think that I would be a full-time mother, first, the family's economic conditions are limited, and second, I am not a child-oriented, but the fact is that I returned to the company after half a year of maternity leave and returned to the family, which shows the road of life, and it is common for the plan to catch up with the changes.
After a rough assessment of the family situation at that time and his own ability to bear it, he hurried to work.
The first two years were indeed busy, how busy, to be honest, too busy to worry about the sense of crisis of full-time mothers. Teammates work hard, Monday to Friday basically rely on me alone, wash and change diapers, play and sleep, cook and clean up the housework, outdoor activities, personal time and emotions are squeezed to the limit. The most impressive one was that the stir-fry turned off the fire three times, the child pulled up his pants, fell and stumbled, or wanted to hug. Children's needs are always disorderly and unpredictable, so they must always be on standby in case of a timely response.
The park in front of the house was probably going to seven or eight hundred times, and every grass and tree was very clear, and he played for one to two hours each time, saying that he didn't believe it to his teammates, and he felt that such a small place was really nothing to play. But in fact, with children is like this, the novelty is occasional, the norm is repeated, hundreds of times repeated. Teach her to move the park bench from one end to the other, from stumbling to steadily getting rid of her hand; nagging at her tirelessly, from playing the ox piano to accumulating vocabulary to reverse output; these are all processes, time and patience.
Stills from Mother's Game: Their Class
Later this year, the child entered the kindergarten, and slowly had free time, I also had a feeling of staying up, and I also began to consider how to go next in addition to my motherhood as a social person.
On the Internet, stay-at-home moms are a hot topic, and I always deliberately avoid watching too much to let myself be affected by it, because most of the discussions are flashy, but they are fast. Whether to be a full-time mother, many times is not a matter of choice, under the current social care mechanism, young children grow up healthy and safe, at least to bind the family a labor force. Since childcare sisters-in-law, early teachers, nutritionists, cleaners, etc. are all types of work, then compound full-time mothers should be counted as a profession, rather than "running naked" as they are now.
Yesterday went out to play, at the dinner table, there were male friends who said "I really envy you don't have to go to work, I don't want to go to work", of course, it is a heartless word, I am momentarily congested, there are thousands of ideas in my heart, but I don't know how to answer the call, I had to laugh and laugh.
Stills from Home on the Ramp
Looking back on these three years, I have had a relatively smooth life and have not encountered too much criticism because of my full-time status. The parents on both sides are in good health, and we don't need to distract a lot of energy for the time being; I have a quiet personality, love to be alone and can be consistent; my teammates work hard, emotional stability, full respect for my parenting philosophy, big things and small things are all the reasons that support me to come smoothly. But I know that not every stay-at-home mom is as lucky as I am.
Society is progressing, if there is really a day, being a full-time mother has become a choice to choose, no longer means sacrificing yourself to complete the child, but because of the love to complete the mother herself, the fertility rate at that time may not increase itself.
Stills from "Escape Is Shameful but Useful"
Three years have passed, the daughter has grown up, the kindergarten has been happy for a semester, the task of this stage was completed as scheduled, because of the existence of the Internet, I did not feel that I was out of touch with society, but the social circle was indeed narrow, so it is true to be a full-time mother to be able to withstand loneliness.
To say that I don't regret it, in fact, there is not. Raising children, learning the touch of life's little by little growth, is a complex and rare life experience that cannot be obtained from other means, and the two-way spontaneous love, trust and attachment that have been gradually established between daughters, kissed and loved, roared and beaten, and gradually established between each other, make people deeply fascinated. However, whether to have another one or not, I really don't want to.
In addition, because I have a free body full-time, I can also take my children back to my hometown every year to live for a period of time, and accompany my parents who are getting older. Counting the three years of time spent at home, it should be more than the six or seven years when I used to work, and it is another form of compensation.
As planned, I will return to work after my daughter's first semester is over. But to be honest, I am not sure whether I can return. The workplace has always been scrupulous about women, single people are afraid that she will get married and have children, and those who have given birth are worried that she will be constrained by the family, not to mention that I still have a three-year empty window, and my resume is not good. But the job search turned out to be smooth, and even when the interview was conducted, the employer did not make it difficult, and the society seemed to have once again shown me its goodwill.
My full-time life was coming to an end, and at the age of thirty-three, with love and courage, I set off again.