The past is like smoke
Author: Wang Kaiping
In my life, there were two close friends, named Tian Xiaozhu and Bu Meihua, a pair of cousins, whose home was next door to my mother's unit, and my family lived in the compound of the institution. Therefore, I get along with them day and night, not only as a small child, but also as a classmate of primary school together, the simple emotional foundation laid since childhood, it is true that no matter how many years of vicissitudes the baptism will not collapse,
At that time, my mother was a glorious policeman, and the unit was called: Dashuiping Police Station Office (the joint office of the two units at that time), I remember that when I was a child, I was very vain, often relying on my mother's identity to collude with them outside to show off, causing trouble, and there were groups of children to chase after, we quickly hid inside the gate of the organ, and then shouted in front of the group of murderers with their cheeks: "Who dares to come in?" This is the police station, arrest you! "At that time, the children were really timid, and none of them dared to trespass on the "yamen", and even if they met them outside, they would definitely retreat, so we became an iron triangle, more and more arrogant and unscrupulous. Until my mother died when I was seven years old.
When her mother was in office, she was doing mass work, very popular, died young, alarmed one side, on the day of the funeral, more than 500 people spontaneously sent a funeral for her, the Dashuiping police station office jointly erected a monument, her posthumous affairs can be said to be mourning and grandeur. However, for our originally beautiful family, the sudden death of our mother is tantamount to collapsing the sky. The most difficult to accept is the father who has a strong affection for his mother, who often says: The great misfortune of life is middle-aged widowhood, not to mention that for a cadre who went south, in Yiyang, he was even more unaccompanied, my father and I were hanging in the shadows, every day I was miserable and aimlessly hesitating on the street, often until late at night, I did not dare to go back to the empty home of that person, and the pain of the cone of the heart and bones made me never forget! Therefore, we had to move away quickly from that sad place until our father died at the age of eighty-five, and for decades we did not return to our former old home, nor did we dare to speak of the past easily, although the bitter pain was not absent, we all invariably sealed it in the deepest part of our hearts, and subconsciously we may feel that this is the best forgiveness for ourselves.
But when I returned to my hometown to meet my friends in 2017, Tian Xiaozhu suddenly said: "The old neighborhood where we used to live will soon be demolished, you still have to go to your mother's deceased house to have a look!" The soft and gentle words of my own words shocked me, and I replied with trepidation: "I will not go!" I've seen it many times outside, but I don't dare to go in, I'm afraid! Although the surface has been rejected, the heart can no longer be calm from that moment on, after thinking about it, it is difficult to sleep all night, and the misery that has been suppressed in the heart for decades is like a volcanic eruption that burns people's hearts. Early in the morning, he quickly called Xiao Zhu: "Hey, are you free today?" Can you accompany me to that old house? The little bead on the other end of the phone immediately replied happily: "Yes!" It is to go to see oh, otherwise you can't see it later! So she asked me to rush to her accommodation for breakfast, and then she set off against the July sun. Unfortunately, we were still late and could no longer see the former home where my mother once worked and lived, and all that appeared in front of us was a shocking rubble. Xiao Zhu accompanied me sad and sad to linger in that unrecognizable land for a long time, speechless, and I could only shout in my heart: "Mom, I am back!" Mom, where are you..."
About the Author
Wang Kaiping, a retired employee of a large state-owned enterprise, is diligent in pen cultivation, and his essays and essays are often published in well-known magazines and newspapers in China.
Image: Network