Min Xiaobian said
On February 8, Gu Ailing won her first gold medal at the Winter Olympics. The talented girl, who attracted much attention before the game, became a new popular idol for a while. Her success is undoubtedly the result of a combination of opportunities, family conditions, personal talents and acquired efforts. So, what can we learn from Gu Ailing's mother's concept of parenting? Let's take a look at this article.
On February 8, the much-anticipated skiing "superstar" Gu Ailing made the world boil with her extremely difficult final jump in the freestyle ski jumping competition.
1620 this action, only her "fierce enemy", the world number one Theis, had successfully challenged a month ago, and she had only rehearsed it in her mind and practiced it two or three times on the air cushion a week ago, and it was completed cleanly.
For a time, the ski genius girl, the sky-descending Ziwei star, the Shuangwen heroine, the Stanford school bully... Countless labels were attached to her, as if they were not enough to express everyone's admiration for her "open and hanging life".
But compared to her achievements in skiing and academics, the spirit in her body is more enviable, independent, confident, assertive, comfortable and light, and ambitious... And all this is inseparable from one person- Gu Ailing's mother.
01
"What kind of tiger mother is she,
I see her as a bunny mom."
If nothing else, the use of "ski genius girl" to describe Gu Ailing is worthy of the name.
He started skiing at the age of 3, joined the professional ski team at the age of 8 to participate in the national low-age freestyle skiing event in the United States, won the American Junior Ski Championship at the age of 9, began to participate in the adult competition at the age of 13, won forty or fifty gold medals at the age of 14, successfully topped the annual rankings of the International Snow Federation at the age of 15, won two gold and one bronze at the World Championships last year in the case of a fracture of the right hand, becoming the first world championship double champion in the history of the International Snow Federation, and just the day before yesterday, he won the big jumping project that he was least good at and had only more than a year of training time.
Whoever reads it doesn't say a word, "God appreciates the meal and eats"?
In addition to skiing, Ailing's life is even richer. She is good at many types of sports, basketball, football, rock climbing, archery, horse riding, skateboarding, surfing, etc., but also good at piano, ballet, musical theater, stylistic blossoms.
How did you learn so many activities? In fact, this is the normal life of Gu Ailing since she was a child, and she has always tried to do many different things, and will not let skiing and learning occupy her entire life.
When she was a child, after school every day, when her mother went to pick her up, she usually had three sets of clothes in the car. Because first she had to change her clothes in the car to play football, and after the kick, she would go back to the car to change clothes and go to the ballet, and after the ballet, she would play the piano. So she often jokes that she grew up in the car, and many times the three meals are solved in the car.
With such a tight schedule, is the child really not tired, is it not forced by her mother to go? In fact, it is not, all this is what AiLing wants to try and likes to do before choosing to insist. Because she thinks:
As young people, we are at the fastest age to learn, we are full of curiosity, creativity and a desire to change the world, and our abilities are endless. So as long as we exercise well, find the love in life, and then most importantly sleep well and rest well, all of which add up, we can really achieve any goal.
Of course, these are not things she naturally learned, but her mother has told her since she was a child:
"You have to try it again, and the worst result is that you don't like it, but if you like it, then you earn it."
Skiing is her own hobby.
Mom has always encouraged her to explore and develop her own diverse interests, silently accompanying her when she is injured; training with her when she is discouraged and wants to give up; guiding and advising her when she is faced with a choice, but eventually giving her the autonomy of choice back to herself.
So, when someone asks Ailing, "Do you think your mother is a "tiger mother"?" ”
She would joke: What kind of tiger mother she is, I think she is a rabbit mother.
Patience and gentleness, leaving Ai Ling with a great degree of freedom to grow, while not forgetting to give a certain sense of direction, exercise her strong ability to plan her life independently, independent and confident and full of heart.
02
"It's your game,
I hope you enjoy it."
In the big jumping competition, there is also a "little Easter egg":
After the second jump, Gu Ailing made a phone call to her mother, who suggested that she do the 1440 on the right again, so that she could keep a silver medal and be safe. But she said not to do it at the time, she felt that she was not competing to beat other players, but to be the best version of herself and show the spirit of her game to the world. So it only took a second for her to decide to push the limits of herself and challenge the hardest 1620.
Mom also respected her decision and only said this: "The final choice is yours, this is your game, I hope you can enjoy it." ”
Growing up, moms seem to treat their daughter's skiing talent and passion with a "playful" mentality, hoping that she would enjoy it rather than being tied to rankings and medals.
"I feel like I'm looking for a companion to play with, I like to ski, and there's a better one than me, and I feel lucky to be able to play with me."
Her mother's mentality also affected Ailing's attitude towards skiing since she was a child:
"Every time I play, the most important thing is to do my own moves first, because all the results are made by the action."
"The effort is not to train for the sake of competition, but because I love skiing, I want to learn new moves and become a better skier."
It is precisely because of this mentality, in the face of mistakes in the game, she can quickly adjust and create a miracle; in the face of the silver medal, she will optimistically and calmly say to the camera: It's okay, the silver medal is also very good, at least it proves that I have improved a little more than before; as the only athlete to shoulder three sports in this Winter Olympics, she not only does not see it as pressure, but takes it as her own advantage and has one more chance to win the medal.
What she cares about is not the grade, but whether the posture of flying and rotating in the air is beautiful, and whether she can surpass herself and complete new actions cleanly. She loves skiing and enjoys the feeling of an adrenaline rush, and she feels like there's nothing in the world like that. Especially when you learn a new action, and put a lot of effort into practicing, and finally complete the excitement, is incomparable.
Her calmness and self-confidence stem from her love of skiing. And when the child does what he likes, his eyes will shine.
But as parents, it seems difficult for us to put aside a utilitarian eye to treat everything about our children, always thinking that we should get something from it, and just ignoring the fact that the child does what he likes and enjoys it is the most precious.
03
I'm not "somebody else's kid."
Leaving aside Gu Ailing's skiing achievements, she completed four years of high school with three years of self-study, and then in between training, the SAT scored 1580 points (the academic ability level test for American high school graduates, out of 1600 points), and was later admitted to Stanford University.
But Gu Ailing herself is very sober to know that she is not "someone else's child", but everyone selectively attaches these labels to herself, she feels that it is enough to do herself well, and repeatedly emphasizes:
"The biggest opponent is always myself, who can do my best, who can push my limits and do things I didn't expect but could do."
Just as she never expected to enter the fashion industry, but when the opportunity came, she did not give in because of skiing, but chose to seize the opportunity and then think about how to do it well.
In her opinion, skiing and fashion are not two things in conflict. Invited to Paris Fashion Week at the age of 15, her first exposure to the fashion scene gave her a real glimpse of a world completely different from the ski world. She liked it very much, and then she resolutely chose to do it. The reason for liking it is also very simple, fashion can also be like skiing, express yourself, have your own style, and at the same time feel the feeling of adrenaline rushing.
Never set limits on her life, happy to do a lot of different attempts, the courage to explore the possibilities of her own life, and no matter what she does, once she chooses, she will devote herself to doing it, is a very purposeful, but also tenacious and hard-working girl.
Since she was 6 years old, she thought about going to Stanford University in the future, because she felt that her father graduated from Harvard, her mother graduated from Peking University and Stanford University, and her grandfather was also from Stanford, and she felt that she had to go to a particularly good university.
Even if her mother kept telling her: You don't need to go to Stanford, no matter what school you go to, as long as you like it very much, and more importantly, you will never give up studying for the rest of your life.
04
Gu Mama's Parenting Tips
Many parents are very curious, raising such an excellent child, the mother's educational philosophy must be very good, right? To sum up, in fact, there are three points, which are very simple:
1. Let the child sleep more
Mom said that since she was a child, Ailing must sleep enough, sleeping 15 hours when she was a child, 13 hours after going to elementary school, and now she also sleeps 10 hours a day. Only if you have slept enough will you be full of energy, efficient and focused on doing everything in the moment. Even Gu Ailing himself said: "Sleep is my 'secret weapon'."
Some people may say, sleep only, who does not love it. However, many children are forced by the pressure of schoolwork and various interest class arrangements, and often sacrifice their sleep time. According to the 2021 White Paper on Exercise and Sleep, more than 300 million people in China currently have sleep disorders. Moreover, the latest survey shows that more than 80% of China's teenagers do not sleep for up to standard, and the higher the grade, the later they sleep!
It can be seen that keeping children in good sleep quality is also the key to efficient learning!
2, do not correct the child's typos, do not hit the child's creativity
3, less praise for their intelligence, more praise for their efforts. On this point, Gu Ailing also emphasized in the interview later: "Genius is a small part for me, and the bigger part is hard work. ”
In Gu Ailing's latest documentary "Gu Ailing: I, 18", it is mentioned that when Ailing was 13 years old, in the eyes of her mother, freedom, richness, happiness and courage to try were her greatest expectations for her daughter. Now that she is 18 years old, it is clear from her that Ailing has grown up to the way her mother expected. Isn't that what we as parents expect?
References: Documentary "Top of ice and snow", documentary "My Time and Me", documentary "Gu Ailing: I, 18", documentary "Flying Over the Ice and Snow Line".
Article source | "Junior Business School" WeChat public account
WeChat editor | Zhang Luyao
Editor-in-charge| Tan Xi