If "other people's children" also have a ceiling, then TA must be Gu Ailing.
3 years old, first time on snowboarding;
At the age of 8, he joined a professional ski team;
9 years old, won the American Junior Ski Championship;
14 years old, won 9 national championships;
At the age of 15, he topped the ANNUAL CIS standings;
At the age of 16, he became the first player to win two consecutive gold medals at the same FIS World Cup;
At the age of 17, he scored a good score of 1580 points in the SAT test of the US college entrance examination, and the difference of 20 points was full, more than 99.8% of the candidates, was admitted to Stanford University, and was honored as the "2020 Forbes China Under 30 Elite List";
18 years old, won 2 gold and 1 bronze at the World Championships...
And winning the gold medal in the winter Olympics freestyle ski women's big jump two days ago added a lot of color to her already hanging life resume:
In fact, the big jump is not a project that Gu Ailing is good at, and versailles is that the Olympic champion is completely unexpected.
After the first jump, she came in third. After the second jump, she came in second. Before the third jump, her mother suggested that she do 1440, a move she practiced many times, and as long as she played steadily, she could get the silver medal.
But a second before the jump, Gu Ailing changed her mind, and she wanted to challenge the more difficult 1620. (1620, or 4 and a half turns in the air, is the ceiling of the current women's big jump, and only one person in the world has completed it.) She had hardly practiced this movement, and the probability of failure was high. But Gu Ailing still chooses to challenge, she is more important than the medal, but whether she has the courage to challenge the limit.
At that moment, her attention was all on the skateboard on her feet. Standing at the starting point, she rushed down with a little preparation, turning around for 4 and a half weeks and a safety grab board in one go. At the moment of successful landing, even she herself could not believe it, crouching on the ground and crying with joy.
Such a perfect performance is equivalent to a naked child, entering the examination room directly answered the full score, this time fate did not live up to her bravery.
With the popularity of Gu Ailing, netizens quickly turned over the video of her mother's interview, and the "Parenting Sutra" in it immediately became the chicken baby Bible sought after by countless parents.
Among them, the most widely circulated is the statement about "love and freedom":
"You don't have to go to Stanford because I'm at Stanford, you just have to go to the school you love."
(Gu Ailing's mother graduated from Peking University and Stanford University)
"If you have the knowledge, you'll be fine."
"Don't be a finisher, because it doesn't exist."
"It's more important to never give up learning for the rest of your life."
"You have to sleep 10 hours a day."
Doesn't it sound particularly cloudy and breezy? Is it not at all possible to feel the anxiety that parents are common today?
However, if at this time your mind is "What people say makes sense!" Let's not force the children, let them chase their dreams", please be sure to stop!
Respecting children's interests and hobbies and encouraging children's lifelong learning is of course not wrong with such a parenting concept. However, these words of love and freedom do not represent the whole of Gu Ailing's mother's parenting methods. From several details of her daily parenting, I know that the degree of care and strength of people's care for children is simply incomparable to that of ordinary people.
There is no mother's full support
Gu Ailing can not become "Gu Ailing"
When Gu Ailing was 8 years old, she was sent by her mother to join the professional ski team in the Lake Tahoe region of the United States. In order not to delay her studies, she studied at school from Monday to Friday and went to ski training on weekends.
It sounds like an average mom sending her kids to an interest class. However, from Gu Ailing's home to the snow field in the Lake Tahoe district, it takes 4 hours by car, and the round trip is 8 hours. These hundreds of kilometers of distance, placed in the country, are also easy to cross provinces.
At that time, it was already her mother Gu Yan who brought Xiao Ailing alone. I have talked about the experience of doing parent-child reading for Xiao Xiaochang before, reading Chinese and English picture books for half an hour a day, unless I travel on business. It is easy to say, but it really takes too much perseverance to persevere, which is estimated to be understood by parents who have experienced it.
But Gu Ailing's mother insisted on nearly a decade, driving 8 hours a weekend to send her daughter skiing - I really can't do it.
Mom has also been encouraging Gu Ailing to try more. There is a passage on the Internet that gu Ailing learned to ski, ride, shoot, run, cross-country, swim, surf, climb, be proficient in two languages, and have an amazing memory when he was a teenager... The last Chinese to achieve such an achievement was Guo Jing.
Even though Gu Ailing has shown extraordinary talent in many aspects, her mother's requirements for her to study are not relaxed at all.
Before she was admitted to Stanford, she was a full-time student. All ski training is scheduled outside of class and on weekends, and must not occupy the time of study.
Moreover, in order to improve Gu Ailing's academic performance, her mother also formulated a curve overtaking plan:
Every summer vacation, I have to go back to Beijing for high-intensity tuition.
This is the record of Gu Ailing taking classes at an institution in Huangzhuang, Haidian, circulating on the Internet. In the summer of 2015 alone, five cram classes were arranged, including high-scoring classes and full-score classes.
In order to encourage her daughter to persevere, the mother also deliberately used the words "come to China for ten days of classes, and can top the United States for a year" to stimulate her daughter's competitive spirit.
After such high-intensity training, Gu Ailing returned to the United States to carry out a dimensionality reduction blow to his classmates, math scores have always been the first in the class, and he has also broken the school record, completed high school courses a year in advance, and achieved a good score of 1580 points in the SAT test.
In addition, she has also developed strong time management skills, learned to write homework in the car, sleep, change clothes, eat, learn to switch between different projects, and maintain a high degree of concentration.
Seeing this, do you still think that Gu Ailing's mother is just a light and breezy lover of love and freedom?
Some enthusiastic netizens have also calculated a chicken baby account for Gu Ailing's mother, private school tuition + interest class fee + ski training fee, plus together with tens of millions of easy.
Huge investment, full companionship, in the cultivation of our daughter, we really do not want to learn to learn.
Gu Ailing has a particularly good relationship with her grandmother (Gu Ailing calls her grandmother, so in the media report, her grandmother actually refers to her grandmother).
Grandma Feng Guozhen was a senior engineer in the Department of Structural Reform of the Ministry of Communications, and since the birth of her granddaughter, she has been taking care of her granddaughter's diet, living and studying in the United States...
In the United States, the third grade of primary school will only learn multiplication, but Grandma taught Gu Ailing, who is still in kindergarten, to memorize multiplication and encouraged her to compete with her classmates.
In school, Grandma has always used the "first place" to ask Gu Ailing. Even if she participates in a running competition, she does not speak English, and now she learns to sell, leading a group of people to shout "Eileen NO.1, Eileen NO.1".
The most hanging words on my grandmother's lips were: Our family's Love Ling is the best. The most encouraging thing to say to your granddaughter is: There's nothing you can't do.
This is the main theme of Gu Ailing's family.
But parents please don't fall into another misunderstanding, thinking that the high standards and strict requirements for children make TA work hard, and they can also harvest a child who is almost inseparable.
Learn the art of parenting, not the art of parenting
The reason why Gu Ailing can become Gu Ailing is inseparable from an important reason: strong genes.
According to online news, Gu Ailing's family are all academic bullies, his father graduated from Harvard, his mother graduated from Peking University and Stanford, his grandfather graduated from Stanford, and his grandmother graduated from Shanghai Jiaotong University.
Moreover, their family also has a very strong movement gene. My mother was a ski instructor, my grandfather was a football player, I learned to ski at the age of 75, my grandmother was a basketball player, and at the age of 85, she still insisted on running 2 kilometers a day.
And Gu Ailing can really choose genes, not only perfectly avoiding the IQ mean return that the Xueba family is most worried about, but also firmly grasping the Xueba genes and sports genes, and the real blue is better than blue.
Good family environment, good educational concepts, good genetic configuration, the emergence of children like Gu Ailing is really a metaphysics, not just a chicken baby can become.
This is also the reason why I think that Gu Ailing's mother's education method does not apply to other people.
In the matter of parenting, in fact, the most taboo is to be rigid, and the most ineffective is to use the so-called successful case to motivate their own babies.
Whether a child can get ahead is not only closely related to the parents' educational philosophy, but also related to the child's own configuration; in addition to the small family in which the child is located, it is also related to the social environment.
Therefore, if you only see the words "Huangzhuang cram school" or "give children freedom" in Gu Ailing's mother, it is really to buy a pearl. What we should really learn is Gu Ailing's mother's strength to support her children and the wisdom of scientifically cultivating children.
The former is the art of parenting, and the latter is the art of parenting. The source of the Tao, the method of art. Zhuangzi once said: With the Tao, the art will be completed. The art of detachment, the art will decline.
The art of parenting varies from person to person, and it is difficult to learn ideas by blindly imitating them, and I am afraid that it can only be applied to the East; only by mastering the way of parenting can we adapt to local conditions and take advantage of the situation to explore the educational concepts and methods suitable for our children.
Many people think that only talking about the concept of parenting is space-wide. But my teacher at Harvard said:
Nothing is more practical than a good theory.
Nothing is more practical than good theory.
I take this for granted.
Education is "a tree shakes another tree, a soul awakens another soul", each child is also a unique existence, the most important thing for parents to do is to borrow the parenting wisdom of others, develop an education method for their own children, rather than just from the form of following the trend.
To do this, parents need to cultivate their own educational patterns, improve their learning cognition, know why we learn, how we learn, and how we can learn effectively.
Looking back at Gu Ailing's mother's education methods, we will find that her "parenting skills" are also an efficient strategy for her daughter from a scientific point of view:
The reason why she insists on letting her daughter sleep enough for ten hours is because she knows that only if the brain gets enough rest can it better consolidate the memory;
The reason why the child is trying is because she knows that rich experiences can promote brain development and enhance learning efficiency;
The reason why she gives her children the freedom to choose and encourages them to climb the peak is because she knows that the production of internal drive is inseparable from a sense of autonomy and value.
Her various parenting styles are all embodied manifestations of her learning ability cognition.
Of course, for the words at the beginning of the article, I don't think that Gu Ailing's mother deliberately tried to versailles, I prefer to understand her words as, after doing her best to lift the child, calmly accept the result:
My daughter succeeded, I congratulated her; my daughter failed, and I accepted her.
Changing what you can change and accepting what you can't change is the true wisdom of education.