Opening remarks
Hello friends, I used to be a person who was prone to anxiety and fear, and often fell into my own emotions. We are now living in an era in which there are also increasing disruptors. The epidemic, the economic depression, salaries, marriage, children's education, pension medical care, etc., are all around us, and we can't hide from it. In these years of self-regulation, through reading and searching for counseling, I have mastered many proven methods, and now record it, hoping to help you who are equally confused to achieve the purpose of alleviating anxiety and fear.
Since I'm not a professional doctor, you can take this as popular reading. I also don't pursue perfectionism, I just want to let myself act first, welcome to discuss and learn from each other if there are deficiencies.
Next, let's understand why people are anxious and afraid.
Section 1: A Brief Discussion on Anxiety and Fear and the Causes of It
The level of anxiety is divided into mild and severe, and if it is mild, it will be relieved by adjusting the mood and environment appropriately. If there is a severe physiological reaction, insomnia, irritability, inability to concentrate, easy fatigue, palpitations and other situations will occur.
The causes of this condition, in previous studies, are divided into long-term, pre-eminent and short-term, sudden causes, physiological causes, poor lifestyles and beliefs.
- Long-term, front-loading:
1. Heredity
2. Childhood experience
Parents are overly picky, harsh, cautious, and have rough personalities
3. Pressure accumulated for a long time
- Short-term, sudden:
A major failure for individuals
A clear change in life
Irritating drugs
- Physiological causes:
Physiological panic
Obsessive-compulsive disorder
- Causes of persistent anxiety:
Muscle tension
Wrong beliefs
Stimulants and other dietary reasons
High-pressure lifestyle
Emotions are suppressed
Life loses meaning and lacks a sense of purpose.
There is not much evidence on whether anxiety symptoms are hereditary, but more of a comprehensive personality, and this personality and anxiety are partially correlated, such as emotional stability in the big five personality. Childhood experiences have a higher correlation to whether a person is more likely to be anxious, such as childhood insecure attachment, parents are too strict, or parents themselves are fearful personalities, children will not be sure whether they are accepted, become sensitive and suspicious, often doubt themselves, and be strong in pleasing others. Either think too much or don't think about anything. "Life events" also cause a person to accumulate long-term stress, such as family changes, loss of love, withdrawal from school, job change, marriage, parental death, etc., these events can also trigger anxiety and fear. Anxiety is a physiological response that is inseparable from the biological basis, and different anxieties have different physiological explanations. Lack of sleep, for example, also provides conditions for anxiety. There is also a more important point, that is, the sense of meaning of life, when people find a sense of meaning in life, have hope, have a head, the symptoms will often gradually alleviate.
Regardless of the anxiety caused by the above reasons, psychological or physiological, it is dynamic and variable, and since it is variable, there is room for human adjustment, and it is important to understand this.
Verse 2 First of all, please fall in love with yourself
Anxiety and fear are often encountered with life problems that they cannot solve, and they have made too many negative predictions about what is about to happen, behind which they are not accepting and disapproving of themselves. Before dealing with your anxiety, first adjust your mentality appropriately and accept yourself from the bottom of your heart. Most of the problems we encounter have been encountered by people before, and what we need to do is to learn how to "encounter problems, solve problems, and then summarize and summarize them into their own life experiences." Don't exaggerate, don't belittle yourself, and accept yourself from the bottom of your heart. You are a unique person, you only live for one lifetime, have your own personality and preferences, and also have your own good and bad at, play your own unique characteristics.
Like some depressed friends, they will think that they have nothing, nothing, nothing to rely on, nothing to do, and they will reduce themselves to dust. However, the only person who really sees you this way may be yourself. People who really care about you will like you, and people who have nothing to do with themselves will not look at you with extra attention. Therefore, you can safely throw away the psychological burden and be yourself with your head held high.
Section 3: How to make yourself more confident
Self-confidence, or lack of self-confidence, is a change in self-identity. Change your opinion of yourself, from self-confidence to self-confidence, and it is just a wall.
First of all, labels are meant to make it easier to portray a person, which does not mean that labels are really themselves. Strictly speaking, there is no real self-existence, the world is dynamic, people are also dynamic, according to the outside world to adjust their own state to adapt to changes in the environment, in order to form an inner self-consistency. Your "worth" does not equal whether you are successful or not. Otherwise, many successful people in their careers will not suffer from depression. True self-esteem is the recognition of one's own values. Even if you find some evidence that proves that you are useless, it is difficult to stand, at most it is a kind of "self-proof prophecy", which belongs to logically wrong thinking. "Value" is a very abstract thing, what is valuable and what is worthless, there is no standard definition, I suggest you just throw away this concept, because it is a nihilistic word used in people, meaningless. You should be bold enough to solve specific problems in your life without worrying about whether you are valuable or not measuring it.
Section 4 Top Ten Cognitive Distortions and Mindsets and Ways to Improve Them
Here are ten common cognitive distortions:
1, either/or: black and white dualism, as long as it does not behave well, it thinks that it is a failure.
2, to partial generalization: once there are negative events, bad luck will continue to come.
3, psychological filtering: only see the negative situation, the whole world is dim and dull, and the background of their lives is gray.
4) Negative Positive Thinking: Reject all positive experiences.
5, jump to conclusions: always like to use negative ways of thinking to understand events.
6, zoom in and out: for their own mistakes and the achievements of others, often exaggerate their importance. Irrationally shrinking their own strengths.
7, emotional reasoning: as long as there are negative emotions, it proves that things are really bad.
8, "should" sentence form: habitually use me should do this, should do that, what achievements should be achieved, etc. to spur themselves on, and if they can't reach it, they will demean themselves or feel guilty.
9, random labeling: extreme to partial generalization, such as "I am waste" and other arguments.
10. Blame yourself: For things that you don't need to be responsible for, you think you are the culprit.
When you think you're a piece of shit, you're either/or, and when you think you're a failure because you don't do a good job, you're partial. Wake up, everything is changing, the world is dynamic, and the way you are now is not the same as what you will be in the future. Don't use one point that affects the whole line of your life, the whole face.
At first, we first learned how to criticize others, and then slowly learned self-criticism, and now I want you to learn how to criticize self-criticism, feel that it is not the truth, stop self-consumption, recognize yourself from the bottom of your heart, and a momentary setback is nothing.
Section 5: Application of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
In the field of cognitive behavioral therapy, depression is seen as a deformation of thinking, that is, the cognitive distortion mentioned above. Emotions are the product of the combined action of people and situations. People have different traits, motivations, cognition, facing the same situation, producing different emotions (may also face different situations, producing the same emotion), according to the cognitive therapy model, people in a certain [situation], triggered [automatic thinking], produced the corresponding [emotion], made the corresponding [behavior]. For example, after Xiaoming came out of the test results, because he did not do well in the test, he triggered the automatic thinking of "I can't do anything well" and produced a "sad" emotion, so he "cried".
Change the way of such behavior, that is, change cognitive thinking, let Xiaoming understand that not doing well in the exam once does not explain anything, there are still many advantages, and the rest is to summarize experience and continue to work hard.
Section 6 Why People Like To Procrastinate and Improve Their Methods
Procrastination is easy to cause anxiety, and there are many reasons for procrastination, there is a lack of motivation or resistance too much, lack of desire, greater difficulties, perfectionism, fear of failure, to solve procrastination, the most effective way is to "move and say again".
Because acting hard first, action automatically generates motivation, and motivation promotes more action. It's as simple as that, don't let the carriage put the horse in front. Give up perfection and build momentum with minimal action. Valuing the power of the situation and not holding out too much hope for your own willpower. For example, reading and writing, a relatively large mental activity, in the library or study, is easier to start than the bedroom. Set goals, make plans, split actions, and in the appropriate situation, get started. Think in action, review in action.
Section 7 How to relax and choose the right sports
Physical fitness is good or bad focus, procrastination also has an important impact, it is difficult to imagine a person who is often sick will be happy every day. Usually exercise, sports will provide body metabolism, promote the secretion of various body hormones, the body itself is an ecology. The sense of movement maintains the balance of hormones such as dopamine, endorphins, epinephrine, and more. The body is comfortable and light, and the mood will naturally change, which has a significant alleviating effect on anxiety. For exercise, the process is greater than the result, and long-term persistence will subtly affect itself. Make a habit, make a plan, and execute it.
Recommended common exercise methods:
Running: Easy and easy, all you need is a pair of running shoes. Has been the most popular aerobic exercise to relax tense muscles and reduce anxiety. Take care to warm up so as not to hurt your feet.
Swimming: Use all muscles throughout the body to lose weight and shape your body.
Cycling: The benefits are the same as jogging, and it doesn't shake the joints.
Walking: There is no threshold and no time limit.
Aerobics: There are plenty of instructional videos, either at home or at the gym.
Section 8 Lifestyle Improvement and Nutritional Principles
In addition to exercise, there are ways to relax that can be practiced, such as:
Abdominal breathing
Progressive muscle relaxation
Imagine a quiet scene
meditation
yoga
Listen to soothing music
In addition, reduce substances that may exacerbate our anxiety, such as:
caffeine
Nicotine (smoking)
stimulant
preservative
Hormones in meat
In short, make your life as simple as possible and reduce the burden on your body.
Section 9 How to Communicate More Effectively with Others
Man does not exist independently in this society, and the relationship between people is the smallest unit that makes up society. Your emotions (anxiety, fear, depression, etc.) are all related to others. How to communicate better with others is the ability to always prompt.
Good communication is about expressing oneself sincerely and encouraging others to express their feelings. Bad communication is the opposite. In Nonviolent Communication, there are mentions of good ways:
1． Clearly express the results.
2． Express feelings
3． Say what needs to lead to that feeling.
4． Specific requests
In addition to expression, listening is also an important step. Find the true part of someone else's words and give it affirmation. Be good at empathy, empathize, understand each other with an inquiring tone, express your feelings with "I feel", and try to use "positive words to express your attitude."
Section 10 How to cope with the stress of daily life
We expect everything in life to go according to our own wishes, but this is not possible.
When life is too stressful, don't suppress your emotions, feel it, and let it pass through your body naturally.
There are several ways to try:
Record negative emotions, analyze the source of stress, and look directly at it.
Eliminate the "should" law: Nothing is necessarily supposed to happen. Turn "I should" into "I wish, or if... That's it.
Learn to persevere: You can't please everyone, stick to your attitude, and try to say "no."
Anti-crying complaint method: When you or others cry, the better you are to discourage, but the more you cry. It is possible to agree with the crying complaint and describe it in positive words, making it easier to quiet down. Like what:
What should I do with my husband, who is not home every day. Fool around with friends every day.
Indeed, you are so hard, and I don't know if it hurts you. By the way, your husband recently heard that the project has achieved good results, really powerful.
Change your mindset: For you who are habitually distorted by cognition, you should be able to let yourself be free. Improve your inner identity without putting your posture very low. Don't think too much, accept the status quo, and keep improving.
Verse 11 We need a meaning in life
Life needs a meaning, even if it is "better to die than to live." And if you let yourself become nothing, you will lose yourself in the tedious and worldly society. I don't know what to do, and I don't know where to go. People who lie completely flat do not exist.
When you want to find meaning, but you don't know it, you are prone to anxiety.
So what to do?
Set new goals by asking yourself questions.
as:
Is the work you're currently doing something you like?
Are you content with your current life?
Will there usually be creative product output?
Is there a spiritual life of your own besides material things?
If you had the freedom to choose what you wanted to do, what would you most like?
What do you want to achieve most in your life?
Do you think there are anything that you haven't done yet but are valuable?
Do you feel like you still have unexplained abilities?
You can do it and think about it and make a detailed plan. There are many ways to achieve your goals, find the one that suits you, such as woop, such as executing the intent "if... so.. "Visualize your actions and achievements.
Man is a combination of material and spiritual, and one alone cannot live well. Cultivating your own spiritual needs can form a wonderful link between yourself and the world. Increase courage, hope, support, and the ability to learn to give and receive unconditional love. These invisible things are our souls, and they guide us through concrete things.
Life is a school, and many things are a short stay for you and me. You can think of people and things around you as NPCs, part of our lives, always teaching us something. Such as kindness and sincerity.
Change log：
Writing is a way to know yourself and the truth, as long as you like to write, you should write at any time. — Roland
Background:
Write down your own ways of dealing with anxiety and fear, and personal gains, help yourself sort out your ideas, and make references for readers.
Citations:
Handbook of Anxiety and Phobias
Burns New Emotion Therapy