Text | genial
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We always think that people who are inseparable are because of love, but we don't know that some people are difficult to give up only because they have attachments in their hearts.
Not all likes are real likes, not all deep loves are unconditional love.
When one person moves to change the mind of another person, then it is not love. When a person only projects his own expectations and does not see the real appearance of the person in front of him, it is not love, but a kind of infatuation.
When I was young, I always thought that infatuation with a person was deeply in love with a person, and then I realized that infatuation is just a kind of selfishness, and there is a huge difference between love and infatuation.
Infatuation is not love, love is not infatuation. Love is seeing the other person as they really are, allowing him to be as he is.
A female netizen once had such a doubt: "My boyfriend fell in love with me at first sight, he was really good to me, but I always felt that my boyfriend overly "beautified" me."
He always thinks that I am a very temperamental and elegant girl, but in fact I am not, I occasionally do not want to wear makeup, and I like to ignore the image.
He thinks I'm full of positive energy, but in fact, my personality background is negative, and it's easy to get emotional when I meet things.
I always felt that he couldn't see the real me in his eyes.
When I first started dating, I tried my best to satisfy his expectations and fantasies, but after spending a long time together, I gradually revealed my true colors, thinking that he would accept me as I really was, just as I accepted that he was not as perfect as I thought.
However, when he actually found out that I was not what he expected, he began to frantically try to change me.
He would strictly supervise my daily makeup, strictly control my eating, and even exaggerate to the point of weighing before and after eating to avoid overweight...
He was good to me, but could only accept me who met his standards, and I was confused about whether what he said he had loved was true and why I couldn't feel it. ”
Regarding the doubts of netizens, my answer is that men are only infatuated with her, not in love.
The so-called infatuation is that the man projects his own desire on the woman, and he feels that the woman meets all the conditions in his heart, so he will love uncontrollably at the beginning. However, his love is actually the illusion of his ideal, and he does not know or accept the true appearance of women, which is naturally not love.
Infatuation and love are not the same, and men treat you like this, just "infatuation", not love.
First, he excessively beautiful you and regards you as his ideal type
If a man over-glorifies you, then don't secretly like it in your heart and think it's just evidence that the man loves you deeply.
Being too beautiful often means that the other person can't accept that you have flaws and don't know the real you.
It can be said that he only likes you as he imagines you, not the real you.
This kind of feeling can only be called infatuation, that is, one person projects the expectations of the opposite sex parents in childhood onto another person.
Infatuation is a kind of selfishness that immerses himself in fantasies, and at first he will be considerate of you because you meet expectations, but later if your behavior disillusiones his expectations, then this obsession will disappear.
Love is inclusion, it is to see the other person as they really are, and it is to resist seeming "imperfections".
If a man puts the label of "perfect" ideal on you without knowing you, then you have to learn to distinguish whether he really likes it or is "infatuated".
Second, a strong person wants to change you and does not accept you as you really are
Infatuation is a kind of selfishness, which will only demand that the other party must conform to his own imagination, but is unwilling to give support to let the other party become himself.
A man who is just "infatuated" with you can't accept you as you are.
When he finds that you are not at the same time as his imagination, he will not reflect on himself, nor will he think about your happiness, but will only think of transforming you.
He will make many requirements for you, and even say " I'm not here for you" as saying, "I'm not here for you."
However, in fact, a man really loves you, he must be reluctant to joke about your happiness, and he will not let you become his marionette.
In addition, he will even suppress the real you, using the standards in his eyes to restrain you. Between you, he always maintains the right posture, and you bear all the faults.
The man who is infatuated with you does not accept the way you are, or more precisely, the part of you that does not really exist as he wishes.
When a man is just infatuated with you, then he tends to appear very self-centered in the relationship.
Usually, he will only see his needs in the relationship and not yours.
Everyone doesn't want to be just an illusion in the eyes of another person, a man is just infatuated with you, then he can't really love you and give you what you want. The so-called care he gives will only start with his own needs, not with the aim of satisfying your needs.
A man who is just infatuated with you is initially pampered with you, but once reality clashes with his illusion, the relationship begins to break. How happy you are in the early stage, you will feel more haggard in the later stage.
Love is never about projecting self-expectation on another person, love is about really seeing that person, being willing to give for him, allowing him to be as he is, and all actions are altruistic, not self-interested.
Infatuation is a blinding selfishness, and love is that you never have to meet my expectations and never let me down.
Infatuation and love are not a level, infatuation with a person is not really love, to know how to distinguish between men are only infatuated with you, or really in love with you.
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I am Hexu, a creator of the emotional field of warmth and happiness in the heart, writing emotional psychological texts and warming the heart with words! Thank you for reading, I hope my words can help you, deeply bless you!