This time it was true.
Huang Xiaoming and Yang Ying publicly announced the "divorce matters" of the two people.
Many netizens commented: "Didn't you already get divorced?" It's not surprising that two people haven't been in public view for a long time."
What exactly are we talking about when we talk about marriage?
In essence, marriage is a family union brought about by an "exchange of values."
From love to marriage, the relationship between men and women is like this.
Psychologist Sternberg proposed the "three elements of love" theory, including: passion, commitment, and intimacy.
Without any of these factors, it cannot be called "love".
From love to marriage, it is also necessary to consider each other's material conditions (economic conditions), social status and other factors.
We see the divorce of two "public figures" who can reflect on our own feelings and marriage.
-01
The essence of marriage is actually "value exchange"
What aspects does the exchange of value between two people include?
First: the exchange of the material base
Take the current marriage market as an example.
Love and marriage must be "planned", even if you love each other, then this is also an "emotional need".
You simply like each other, and then the longer you spend together, that liking becomes love.
In the process, the cost of your input gradually increases, so you are more and more inseparable from each other.
This is called the "sunk cost", and the higher the cost invested in the relationship, the more unable to leave the other party.
Men like girls who are beautiful, so how can he be worthy?
Either they have the same physical conditions, or they have considerable material and economic conditions.
If a guy has nothing but can still be with a very good-looking girl, do you believe it's "true love"?
The same thing.
What kind of boy a girl wants to be with, what kind of marriage she wants, first of all, you should have your own unique values and conditions.
If a person has nothing, don't fantasize about meeting "real love."
The economic base determines the superstructure, and human emotions and marriage belong to the spiritual superstructure.
Second: be able to bring each other a sufficiently high "social status"
Before Huang Xiaoming married Yang Ying, many people must have the same question as me: "Who is Yang Ying?"?
Who is the "Big Baby"?
What does she do?
But through Mr. Huang's "banknote ability wedding", the two were pushed on the hot search in one fell swoop.
After that, Ms. Yang's reputation gradually became popular.
It is also through Mr. Huang's social status and fame that he has exchanged excellent resources.
Subsequently, the two people's careers ushered in a "new wave" of rising period.
You know, Mr. Huang and Ms. Yang were on the "Star Income List" in 2017.
If there is no marriage, I am afraid that Ms. Yang's "money path" will not be so smooth.
Analyze from a realistic point of view:
A person's high social status also means that his "value attributes" are high.
Well, he tends to be more popular in the dating market.
Do you know which occupations are more concerned about in the blind date market in small cities?
Civil servants, classrooms, public institutions.
Such a profession means stability and a certain social status.
Third: "The hustle and bustle of the world is for profit, and the world is bustling for profit"
Returning to marriage itself, the formation of a family between a man and a woman is essentially a "union of interests."
Like what:
A person from a rich family, is he willing to find someone with a very poor family to marry?
The more powerful the family, the more they care about "door to door".
The so-called "door-to-door pair" is a good illustration of the exchange of interests in marriage.
From ancient times to the present, door-to-door pairs have always been an important criterion for measuring marriage.
Why are there so many couples who love each other but still can't get into marriage?
One party cannot bring enough material conditions to the other to bear the life after marriage.
It is precisely because of the lack of material conditions that the feelings of the two people are broken.
In the face of material things, sometimes marriages are fragile.
However, those "marriages that are gathered because of profits" are also easy to break up because of profits. ”
-02
The failure of marriage does not happen overnight
See a set of data on the Internet: What are the reasons for the divorce of contemporary people?
The reasons for the top few are: trivial matters of life, separation, weak emotional foundation, economic problems.
Here, we will only talk about "weak emotional foundation" and "economic problems".
First: the emotional foundation is weak, doomed to the shortcomings of marriage
If you marry the other person, it is not because of love, but because the other party can bring you some kind of "value satisfaction".
Then, one day, your marriage will also break down.
The simplest example:
A marries B, A cares about B's family conditions and social status, and hopes to achieve a leap in his life through B's resources.
B, on the other hand, has a crush on A's emotional intelligence, personality, and appearance, and believes that after marrying A, he can satisfy his vanity and face.
After the two people get married, they create a sense of "full of love" atmosphere.
But only two people knew in their hearts that something was always missing.
What is missing, what is it?
The answer is: feelings.
They don't have enough emotional foundation, so there are more interests in marriage.
When paying for each other, they will consider whether it is worth it and whether the other party can give enough back to themselves.
When marriage becomes a "business," it means taking all sorts of risks.
High effort does not necessarily have a high return, and may also bring you immeasurable losses.
Second: lack of material conditions
Under what circumstances would you give up on a relationship?
Probably: what you get from the other person, can't satisfy your loss.
You lose more and more, but the other party can provide you with less and less, and then you will consider leaving.
Just like Mr. Huang and Ms. Yang.
At the beginning of the relationship, Ms. Yang obtained the transformation and breakthrough of her career under the resources of Mr. Huang.
In the days that followed, the tide rose all the way.
When the resources of the "giver" are reduced, the "recipient" considers creating its own "independent person".
In all human feelings, there are "positive" and "negative" values.
What is positive value?
Get enough sense of accomplishment and value satisfaction from the other person;
Each other can bring high attraction to each other;
The interests of each other are largely combined;
Both parties have invested high costs and resources for this marriage.
And the negative value?
Being with each other is not only not reciprocating, but always losing.
Or, the other party cannot be compared with themselves, and the distance from themselves is getting farther and farther away, and they cannot form a "balance".
If marriage only talks about money, it becomes a business;
If marriage only talks about feelings, it is to plunge yourself into "illusory emotions".
Only a marriage that talks about money and feelings will have more opportunities to go on.
Today's Topic:
Why do you think that the marriage of "male wealth and female appearance" will fail?
(Article with picture source network)