When I went out to dinner the other day, there were a few middle-aged men sitting at the next table, probably because I had drunk some wine.
Men began to make a big fuss, feeling that they had a successful career, money, a house, and strength, so that they should be sought after by those little girls, and how could the yellow-faced woman at home be worthy of herself.
The so-called drunken vomiting, these men through the strength of alcohol to say the words, in fact, also exposed some of the common phenomena in Chinese marriage.
That is, middle-aged men feel that they are charming, their style is still the same, and they feel that the wife who has been accompanying him is not worthy of himself.
They completely forgot their original vows, and they could not see the warmth and beauty that their wives gave themselves along the way, and they could not see everything that their wives had given to this family.
So in a relationship between the sexes, why do men think that their wives are not worthy of themselves when they reach middle age?
The gap between husband and wife creates an unequal status
Chen Junsheng in the TV series "The First Half of My Life" is already successful in his career at this stage of middle age, and years of groping and playing have made his way of thinking more and more mature, and he is more comfortable in dealing with problems.
And his wife Luo Zijun?
She has been a full-time wife since she was married, and she has not worked for many years since then, so she knows nothing about work.
Therefore, when Chen Junsheng was worried about the problem of promotion, Luo Zijun did not know how to comfort her, because she did not understand, all she could do was buy a sofa, and then take a screen name that Chen Junsheng liked, and that was all.
Let me ask, one is a person who has been working in the workplace for many years, the way of thinking is very wide, a person is a housewife who has been "living in" at home for many years, and she knows nothing about social affairs, so the gap between the two people is obvious, Chen Junsheng can be compatible downwards, and Luo Zijun cannot be equal to Chen Junsheng.
The gap between the two people is too big, the status is not equal, for a long time, how can Chen Junsheng, who has always been on the top, not dislike Luo Zijun?
In life, the reason why men will dislike women at this stage of middle age is because the gap between two people is large, and men feel that women are not worthy of themselves, so they will be disgusted.
When a woman loses her value, she loses her initiative in marriage
Psychologist Adler described the law of couples getting along in "Inferiority and Transcendence": "Marriage is actually a job, it has its own rules and rules, we can not only choose one part of it, avoid the other parts, without compromising the eternal law of the earth - cooperation." ”
That is to say, the male and female protagonists are the best mode of managing love, then, the most essential thing for cooperation is the value exchange of two people, there is value, for one person there will be a need for cooperation, otherwise what one person can accomplish, why do you need the participation of another person?
In real life, women think that a man's "I raise you" is a romantic sentence, but in fact, how many men can practice this sentence without complaint, most of them are after a long period of one-way economic payment.
Men feel that they are the pillar of this family, and they are the women who pay the most for this family, so that the emotional balance in their hearts will tilt.
Coupled with the fact that women at this stage of middle age will inevitably not be the state when they first got married, the body is slender, the face is delicate, etc., and the long-term mental exhaustion has long made their beauty covered with a layer of gray, and old age and decay are inevitable.
At this time, women have lost their value to men, so they will dislike them.
People with equal strength will continue to attract each other
In fact, when women continue to improve themselves, when women continue to enrich their self-worth, when women continue to jump out of the comfort zone and enrich their spiritual world, then women will not worry about men will dislike themselves.
Because the biggest significance of the marriage between husband and wife is to jointly improve the grade of life, when men are progressing, women are not willing to show weakness, so that on the road to marriage, husband and wife are always in hand, the two people have the same strength, the same strength, equal strength, and how can they be disgusted because of the emergence of the gap?
In one program, the famous host Yang Lan once said: "The so-called love is to constantly improve themselves, the other party also keeps improving, and then the two people are attracted to each other again." This is how so-called love begins, and constantly falls in love with the same person. ”
Of course, in addition to improving a woman's own attractiveness, we also need to master some other skills, such as we can strengthen communication, open up the problem, for example, we can also say some nice words, so that language is a tool to infinitely prolong each other's feelings.
A long-term and harmonious husband and wife relationship needs to be on a par with each other, but it also requires women to worship men, because only when the wife can admire her husband from the bottom of her heart, then such a marriage and such a husband and wife relationship can last.