Recently, "social cow" has become a hot word on the Internet. "Social cow" is short for "social cattle people", which describes those who can talk to anyone socially with ease. Interestingly, there are also articles on the Internet that point out that "Chinese elders are the ceiling of human socialization", on the grounds that they have a self-familiarity that "aliens can put on the almost". Not to mention, the middle-aged and elderly "social cattle" are real cattle. Especially among the old drifters, their "social scriptures" are worth learning.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="2" > "sheniu" to help his son improve neighborhood relations</h1>
How social are the old drifters? In the eyes of the 35-year-old Xiao Wang, there is a strong contrast that can be explained. Xiao Wang's hometown is in Nanyang, Henan, and he came to Changsha, Hunan Province, 9 years ago to work and start a family. After Xiao Wang had a child, his 58-year-old mother came from her hometown to Changsha to help bring her grandson. In less than two months, Xiao Wang's mother became acquainted with many elderly neighbors with grandchildren in the community, often visiting the neighbors' homes and having a good time. Xiao Wang sighed: "I have lived in the community for eight or nine years, and I have never been to a neighbor's house!" ”
The social ability of the old drifters after entering the "stranger society" is indeed not to be underestimated. Zeng Zhen, 65, now lives in Hangzhou, Zhejiang Province, where she came from her hometown in Guizhou in 2013 to take her grandchildren. She is a warm-hearted person who pays attention to local public welfare undertakings with her grandson, actively participates in volunteer activities such as anti-drug publicity, garbage classification, epidemic prevention and control, and meets many people in the local area. Zeng Zhen has a good cooking skill and likes to pickle some kimchi and share it with neighbors. Every time she returns to her hometown, she always brings a lot of Guizhou souvenirs to Hangzhou, and she will also send some to her neighbors. Because of this, in the strange city, Zeng Zhen was very popular with her neighbors, and many elderly associations took the initiative to invite her to join. Zeng Zhen's social skills not only allowed her to quickly adapt to the life of the old drifter, but also improved the relationship between her son and the neighbors. Not long ago, his son was moving things home on a rainy day, and a neighbor downstairs took the initiative to help him, saying that he knew his mother. After his son returned, he praised her good popularity.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="11" > old drifters have a set of "social scriptures"</h1>
When the old drifters arrive in new places, they often face differences in language and living habits. The reason why the old drifting "social cow" can quickly establish a new social network is two main ways: one is to have a common topic with new neighbors, such as the elderly with children, can talk; the other is to enthusiastically participate in local volunteer activities, or have common hobbies with new neighbors, such as square dancing together and meeting new friends.
In addition, there is a very important aspect that the elderly have a lot of experience in socializing. David Zhang, 72, pays attention to his conversation skills when interacting with others. Seven years ago, David Zhang moved from his hometown in Changchun, Jilin Province, to Changsha to live with his son's family. When he talks to people, he always asks the other party's place of origin, if the other party is also a northeasterner, Zhang David will climb with him; if the other party is from somewhere else, Zhang David will also praise the other party's hometown. In this way, he quickly became familiar with people. In terms of salutation, Zhang David also pays attention to it, either calling people "bosses" or "teachers", "people carry people in flower palanquins, you respect people, people will naturally respect you." David Zhang likes to use the word "we" to get closer to people. "Where does my girlfriend work?" "Our grandson is really handsome!" A few simple words, let the other party be willing to open the conversation box, and the next time you see you again, there will be more topics.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="12" > old drifter "social fear" to go out of the house</h1>
Of course, not every old drifter is a "social cow". According to a media survey in Hangzhou, 31.58% of the elderly in Hangzhou drift have the problem of lack of friends and social difficulties. "Social phobia in the old drifters is not the same thing as psychological social anxiety disorder, it is largely caused by the discomfort of arriving in a new environment." Zhang Hongying, an associate professor in the Department of Social Work at the School of Philosophy and Social Development at Shandong University, suggested that the old drifters should go out of their homes and integrate into society. For them, the experience of the old drifting "social cow" rapidly expanding the new circle of friends is very important.
Huang Jie, 65, who now lives in Shiyan, Hubei Province, is also an old drifter. When he first arrived in Shiyan, he was very uncomfortable, especially the lack of friends. Later, he volunteered in the community and volunteered to teach several children in the community to write essays. This allowed him to relive the joys of being a teacher and made him good friends with a few neighbors. (Bao Jie, reporter of this newspaper)
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