On April 29, Liu Jie, a young artist, went to the hospital with her boyfriend to visit her grandmother, and met a drunken man downstairs at No. 3 of the inpatient department, when the man bumped into two people and inexplicably began to swear at them.
Liu Jie and her boyfriend were angry but scolded back a few words, the other party did not care about three seven twenty-one to pull out a knife, a knife in the heart, a knife in the spleen, after the rescue was ineffective and died. Liu Jie's boyfriend was slashed three times in the leg, but fortunately his life was not hindered! Liu Jie's family once cried emotionally outside the outpatient department, which was difficult to accept.
This matter has caused a very big response on the Internet, in fact, in recent years, because of some small things caused tragedies are not a few, for example, in 2014, a man in Quanzhou, Fujian Province, invested 1 yuan less when riding with the driver had a fierce quarrel, and then the man stabbed the driver with a knife and seriously injured him. In 2017, near the Wuchanghou Station in Wuhan City, Hu and yao, the owner of the noodle shop, had a dispute over the cost of 1 yuan, and after a fierce quarrel between the two, there was a pull, and then Hu picked up a kitchen knife and frantically cut Yao more than ten knives, and then cut off Yao's head and threw it into the trash.
Seeing these things, Xiao Ai always has a feeling of residual palpitations, because for this kind of similar "garbage man" incident, Xiao Ai has personally experienced it, and more than once.
At the end of 2016, Xiao Ai and his friends drove past an intersection in Wanliu, when we turned left under the green light, and the opposite car was actually a little far away. Halfway through, a car on the opposite side rushed over and stopped before stopping less than 1 meter away from us, startling us. My friend was frightened, opened the window and shouted: "Can you pay attention to driving, don't drive so fast." "What happened next was beyond my imagination, only to see the middle-aged man driving the BMW 5 on the other side suddenly accelerated towards our car, after a loud noise, our car was stopped and damaged, after getting out of the car, the middle-aged man (should be a Beijing demolition second generation) laughed and said, Today I am going to kill you, I have time, you call the police!
To be honest, I was very angry at the time, and I thought that if there was surveillance, even if there was a lawsuit, I could win. The result was unexpected, we called the traffic police, said within 10 minutes, the result was not 15 minutes, and the other party directly dialed a mobile phone number, 5 minutes later the traffic police arrived, after arriving at the traffic police have been talking to him, hanging us aside, the final result is that we turned did not let the straight, full responsibility, we proposed to call the camera, the traffic police said, this is not under his control, and, the fact that the turn did not let the straight line is very clear, there is no need to call the camera. After that, we called 110, and after the police came, they learned about the situation with the traffic police, and then said that this is not under their control, and if there is any objection, they can be prosecuted.
In desperation, we only had to turn to lawyer friends and insurance companies, and after describing the situation, we got the same result: endure, and then follow the process.
After that, we had to choose to follow the process, but in the meantime we received several threatening phone calls from the middle-aged man, saying that they were going to kill us.
The lawyer friend said: "This kind of person is a ground snake, you don't have to worry about him, just follow the process, if he harasses him again, I can help you call him." I hope you can understand that not everyone in this world can be reasonable, and when you encounter this kind of thing, you must first control your emotions, because if there is a conflict, it is not worth the loss in the end, and you do not know whether he has a background in the underworld. The second is to treat him as garbage and quickly throw him out of your life, and don't be angry with this kind of person anymore, because he will not be angry at all, but will have a sick sense of satisfaction. And if you keep pestering him, it will definitely be you who will suffer in the end. ”
To this day, I am still very grateful for the advice of this lawyer friend, and after all the process was completed, we quickly blocked the person's mobile phone.
In psychology, emotion management is a great discipline.
In addition to psychosis and perversion, modern people due to high competitive pressure and survival pressure, most people will have some anxiety, which is likely to make you explode when you encounter some small things, and then cause irreparable consequences.
The most typical is road rage, in which it is not uncommon to drive a car and scold people, and it is not uncommon to kill people at every turn.
In October 2016, a case of intentional injury occurred at the intersection of Qingxia Village Cultural Square in Qingxi Town, Dongguan. One victim was stabbed with a knife and died after ineffective rescue. The suspect fled the scene after committing the crime. The cause is that the black car car crosses the road, the white car car is too late to brake, the two cars have a small scratch, the black car driver directly took the knife to go up and stabbed the white car driver to death.
In June 2016, a man in Qingdao brutally beat an advisor to death with a stick and a brick after a bus collision.
Cases like this are emerging in an endless stream, and the mental health of modern people has actually reached a very serious point.
When you can't control other people's emotions, the best thing to do is if you can control your emotions and quickly get away from the "trash guys" you encounter.
But this kind of thing, which is easier said than done, is very difficult to do, because in real life, many things will make you feel "angry", followed by quarrels, and then more serious things.
The first lesson in emotional management is to stay away from "garbage people."
Once there was a pair of boyfriend and girlfriend at dinner, the person at the next table said something obscene to the girl, the girl was very angry on the spot, and then asked the boyfriend to teach the person next door, the boyfriend saw that there were many people on the other side, he said forget it, ignore them, and go. But the girl didn't forgive me, saying that you can endure this, you are not a man, you don't love me at all. The boyfriend can't stand the anger of his girlfriend, go up to the other party to theorize, and the final result is to be beaten to death by several crowds of people on the other side. So is love? So you can get justice?
The right thing to do is to meet a "garbage man" and throw them away from your mind like garbage, and then leave quickly without any conflict with him. For example, liu jie met the drunk man, if the other party was thrown away from his mind as garbage, there would be no tragedy if he went directly.
The second lesson in emotional management is to learn to "forgive."
In the Indian film "Gangster Gangster peace dream", the underworld big brother in the process of pursuing the female anchor, the evil patch up the thoughts of Mahatma Gan, and later after a long time of trance browsing the material, he actually hallucinated, mistakenly thinking that Gandhi appeared, and guided the solution of various difficult and complicated problems. Not only did she successfully deceive the female anchor, so that the female anchor thought that she was a school teacher, but also explained Gandhi's thought to the widows and elderly people supported by the female anchor.
Just as the female anchor was ambiguous, the younger brother actually obeyed the assignment of another big brother and forcibly seized the small building where the female anchor and the widows and the elderly lived. Then the two big brothers turned their faces, but in order not to create violence and solve the problem in a peaceful way, the underworld big brother followed Gandhi's teachings, not only did not take violent means, but chose the method of "forgiveness", with the concept that the other party is a "patient", send flowers to the "patient" every day, and call on people all over India to send flowers to the "patient" to forgive the big brother of the underworld. In the end, xiaolou was recovered, and the female anchor once again fell in love with herself and carried forward gandhi's thoughts.
No matter what kind of person you meet, it is far better to choose to "forgive" the other person in your heart than to take violent confrontation, and in the long run, your forgiveness will make you win more friends and make more people respect you.
Xiao Ai recommends people who have not seen this film, and having the opportunity to watch it must be good for your emotional management.
The third lesson of emotional management is to "think twice"
Tang Taizong Li Shimin once changed the "three-fold" of death row prisoners to "five-fold", because a momentary mood swing led to wrongful killing.
In the 5th year of Zhenguan, in 631 AD, Li Haode was investigated and punished for spreading rumors to confuse the public, and planned to be executed. However, Zhang Yungu of dali temple thought it was inappropriate, and boldly advised Emperor Taizong, saying that Li Haode was crazy and delirious in his daily life, and according to the laws of the state, he should be treated differently and should not be executed. Tang Taizong followed the advice, and after investigation, Zhang Yungu's advice had both a factual basis and a legal basis, so he gladly accepted it and decided not to sentence Li Haode to death.
But before he could pronounce the verdict on Li Haode, to everyone's surprise, Zhang Yungu actually ran to the prison at this time to play chess with Li Haode. Unaware that there were ears outside the wall, and le was extremely sad, someone played a book to Emperor Taizong, saying that Zhang Yungu leaked the trial secret and ran to the prison to play chess with Li Haode. What is more serious is that the reason why he went to the court to protect Li Haode was because they were fellow countrymen, and he and Li Haode's brother, Li Houde, the Assassin of Xiangzhou, were old friends.
As soon as Emperor Taizong heard about the shooting, he immediately sent someone to follow up and investigate. It was verified that Zhang Yungu was indeed playing chess with Li Haode in prison, and that he did have a personal relationship with Li Haode's brother Li Houde. Emperor Taizong could not help but be furious, and in a fit of rage, ordered Zhang Yungu to be beheaded and executed.
However, after the execution of Zhang Yungu, Emperor Taizong calmed down and thought that although Zhang Yungu knew the law and broke the law, he did not deserve to die, and he regretted it.
Through the wrongful killing of Zhang Yungu, Emperor Taizong decided to implement a three-fold system of death penalties. After a period of time, he analyzed and reviewed, believing that the continuous triplet would be reduced to a formality, and then changed to a three-day five-fold, which not only increased the number of performances, but also extended the interval time and ensured the quality of the death penalty.
When encountering mood swings, you may wish to learn From Tang Taizong's "Five Repetitions", let yourself continue to calm down, keep deliberating, and then see if it is really worth making up your mind to do something.
The fourth lesson of emotional management, cultivate your own optimism
Once, the home of former US President Roosevelt was stolen and many things were lost. A friend heard the news and wrote to comfort him, advising him not to care too much.
Roosevelt wrote a reply to a friend: "Dear friend, thank you for coming to comfort me, I am now safe and grateful for life." For, first, the thief stole what I had and did not harm my life; second, the thief stole only part of what I had, not all of it; third, most fortunately, it was he, not me, who was the thief. ”
Optimism like Roosevelt's is certainly what everyone wants, but what exactly is optimism that excludes all negative emotions? Drink chicken soup every day? Blind optimism?
In the film "Brain Task Force", five emotional villains live in the "headquarters" of the mind, and together they manipulate the behavior of the little girl Riley.
Joy, Sadness, Fear, Disgust, anger, these are the five emotional commanders in the heroine Riley's brain, and the five basic emotions defined by The Mind Agent.
The film does not talk about big truths, does not say that you must be happy and resist sadness, you must be optimistic and mock negative, but tells you that you have to accept your inner emotions, so as to become a mature person, you have to learn to give up what has been lost, and accept the fait accompli. In this case, you have to correctly interpret your own emotions, correctly interpret the emotions of others, and correctly channel your own inner and other people's emotions, only in this way can you, as a person of sound mind, truly understand what is optimistic and what is sad.
After perfecting your mind and accepting your emotions, you can try to do three things, the first is to smile, the second is fitness, and the third is catharsis.
In the TED Talk "The Hidden Power of Smiles", there is an example: British researchers found that a smile can produce the brain the same level of stimulation as 2,000 chocolate bars. Wait, the same study found that smiling is the same stimulus as getting £16,000 in cash, and a smile is like $25,000.
Smiling can help lower levels of stress-boosting hormones such as cortisol, epinephrine, and dopamine, increase levels of mood-boosting hormones, such as endorphin, and lower overall blood pressure.
Research from Penn State university found that when you smile, not only do you appear more cute and polite, but you actually appear more competent.
Xiao Ai now has to smile every day, smile with the leader, smile with the subordinates, and smile with the customer, and the effect is really good.
To be an optimistic person, in addition to smiling, it is best to stick to fitness.
Scientific studies have shown that fitness can relieve stress and improve the ability to concentrate and divert attention. Fitness is so effective at relieving stress because it can immediately raise levels of important neurotransmitters including serotonin, norepinephrine, dopamine, and endorphins, which are often depleted by anxiety and frustration. That's why running or exercising on an elliptical machine for half an hour can immediately make us emotionally aroused – fighting the negative emotions caused by chronic stressors that we have to deal with every day.
Finally, when your mood is greatly affected and depressed, catharsis is also a very effective way, such as finding a friend to talk to, such as traveling or walking with your family, exercising, or even running to the mountains to yell, through the method of catharsis, as soon as possible to eliminate negative emotions, you can quickly get out of the haze and re-establish an optimistic attitude towards life.
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