I asked my wife, "My sister-in-law has been living in our house for a month, why don't you see her leaving?" The wife said angrily: "I don't blame you, who called you a five-star chef,

I asked my wife, "My sister-in-law has been living in our house for a month, why don't you see her leaving?" The wife said angrily: "I don't blame you, who called you a five-star chef, you managed my sister's stomach!" I said, "I don't want to!" Or start cooking tomorrow! Then she can't get used to eating and it's time to go! The wife said, "I don't know much about cooking!" I said, "It won't be better, so she's less likely to eat the food you cook and go faster!" The wife nodded! Fast forward a week and my sister-in-law is gone! My wife can cook too! My sister-in-law called me: "Brother-in-law, in order to make my sister know how to cook, I am very cooperative with you!" I came according to your plan!" Don't forget to buy me a computer! ”

2. When my father came to my house, he saw a blue patch on my face and a purple patch and asked me what was wrong. The wife said: How many times have I said it, but I didn't listen, and I drank too much last night and my face fell into something! I said with a confused face: How come I don't remember falling? When my wife went to the bathroom, my 6-year-old son said: Dad, don't get drunk in the future, you see my mother is beating you and pinching you, you don't know.

3. After the demolition of the old home, six houses were obtained at once, and two sets of door rooms. Recently one of the houses in the house was renovated and we just moved into a new home. After dinner I was playing games in my bedroom when the phone at home suddenly rang. I didn't answer the phone at the door of my parents' room, but the two didn't seem to hear it. I had no choice but to go out and answer the phone, only to hear my father say on the other end of the phone: "Bring me the TV remote control!" ”

4. Today, the old man invited him to come out for dinner with all the men in our family. At the dinner table we talked a lot about our own family, and everyone was drunk. On the way home, I couldn't walk steadily, so I had to climb back slowly. When I got home and found that my wife was asleep, I secretly took off my clothes and climbed up the window to sleep. The next day, I was suddenly woken up by my wife's slap, and my wife: How much did you drink yesterday? Me: Not much, just drink a little. The wife came up and slapped her again, and said: Still hard, everyone in the restaurant has called home, and your wheelchair has landed there.

5. At dinner today, my daughter-in-law said that she was going to test my sincerity and give me a problem. Me: Then I'll just confess to you! The house was bought with my loan and the car was refurbished second-hand! Daughter-in-law: You dared to deceive me and punish you for wrapping me around 100 times! Me: As long as you don't count the previous accusations, 1,000 laps will do! After 100 turns. Daughter-in-law: Congratulations on passing the test! Me: What kind of test is this? Daughter-in-law: I mainly want to see if there is a problem with your waist!

6. My wife has always had no appetite for dinner recently, and my mother took her to the hospital for examination, and then found out that she was pregnant. After returning, my mother cooked either chicken soup or eggs. There is also chicken soup, even vegetarian dishes are what "chicken feathers" and "pheasant fir" are, and there is a cocktail after dinner! I was very puzzled and asked my mother, "Why have you been so willing lately?" Chickens? The mother said: "The doctor said that eating more organic food is good for the fetus!" ”

7. When I was in junior high school, I liked a girl, and I asked my friends for advice when I was not in a relationship. The friend said you have to help him, let her believe in you, I said how to help, he said to create difficulties also to help. Then I thought about it, and I locked the lock of my bike on her car, and after school, she couldn't walk. So I went over and asked her, do you need help? She nodded, so I took out the key and opened it, and she said to me softly, are you stupid?

8. The sister-in-law opened a shoe store in the pedestrian street, and today she temporarily went out to buy goods and I helped her look at the store. After a while, three female customers came and asked: Handsome man, how do you sell shoes? I said: Sell it. The customer said: I am asking you how many pairs? I said: Two is just a pair. The female customer said: I think you misunderstood what I meant, I wanted to ask about the price. At this time, the sister-in-law just came back, and I immediately said: You have to ask her about the price.

 #Funny# #搞笑段子 #