"How would you live if you had an afterlife?"
"If I have the next life, I don't want my father and mother to have a home, I only need to be alone."
Ni Ping, who was more than half a hundred years old, once said so.
If it were not for the unforgettable divorce of her parents and the setbacks in her life path, I believe that Ni Ping would not have said such words casually.
When her father was dying, under the eager gaze of his eyes, Ni Ping opened her mouth, but she still failed to shout a word of "Daddy".
But this is not a painful story, and for many years there has been a reconciliation in the hearts of this father and daughter that they do not have to say.
Grandma brought up
Ni Ping, whose original name was Liu Ping, was born in a "well-off family" whose parents were employees of government agencies, but when she was a child, she did not gain much love from her original family.
In the early sixties of the last century, during the "three years of difficulties", Ni Ping's family life was also very poor, and Ni Ping also had an older brother.
In order to reduce the burden on the family and be influenced by the idea of son preference, parents keep their sons and raise them, send their young daughters to the institutional kindergarten boarding, and return home only once a few months.
After Ni Ping's aunt told her grandmother about this, the old man who was distressed about her granddaughter did not sleep all night, and rushed to the city early the next morning to take her granddaughter to raise her.
Ni Ping's grandmother came from a wealthy family that opened a dyeing workshop, but she was also a victim of the feudal idea of favoring sons over daughters, and from an early age, she was foot-bound and illiterate, and could only write her own name.
When he grew up, he was ruled by his family and married to an unknown blacksmith. However, Ni Ping's grandmother was very able to bear hardships and be tenacious, and after marriage, the originally poor family was getting better and better under the control of the couple.
The industrious and kind grandmother gave The first warm color of Xiao NiPing's childhood, in order to supplement the nutrition of the granddaughter who had not eaten enough for a long time, the old man used the silver bracelet of his dowry as a replacement egg for her, one a day, and finally raised the original thin Ni Ping to be healthy and healthy.
In the words of the old man, "The sturdy grows upwards, and when the night is quiet, she can hear the sound of bones rattling and stretching." ”
Grandma's love gave Ni Ping a happy childhood, and Grandma's words and deeds also laid the foundation for Ni Ping's strong and self-reliant personality, respect for people, and willingness to suffer losses.
Grandma helped people to report Grandma, she did not resent, only said that there is no need to remember hate, people who do bad things just hate themselves enough, still send children every year to send apples to the family.
The brother-in-law who was a soldier sacrificed himself in order to save people, and his grandmother did not cry or make trouble, comforting his family's mission as a soldier is to contribute to the country, and his son died to save people, and there will be blessings in the next life.
However, Grandma got up the next day and turned white overnight.
Her grandmother, who has no culture, has not taught Ni Ping any great truth, but her every move has taught Ni Ping kindness and strength, so that No matter what suffering Ni Ping has experienced many years later, she still retains the heart of a kind and honest child.
Parents divorced
When she was six years old, Ni Ping left her grandmother and returned to school with her parents in the city.
However, the days of living with her parents are not as happy as Ni Ping imagined, and her father Liu Shijie and her mother are incompatible.
There is friction everywhere in life, and basically every few days there will be a big fight between relatives on both sides of the fight, and it is still useless to adjust from it many times. When she was young, Ni Ping and her brother did not cry with their mother for this reason.
When Ni Ping was a child, her wish was that her family could live a month in harmony, but it was never realized.
A year later, the father and mother filed for divorce, and the mother, who felt that the divorce was humiliating, tried to keep it, but the father simply did not return home, and the parents' marriage finally broke down.
After his parents divorced, Liu Shijie formed a new family, and his mother took Ni Ping and her brother to live alone.
The life of the divorced mother and the two children can be imagined how sad it is, in those difficult days, the mother shed tears, while counting the various non-parts of the ex-husband, the mother's tears and the hardship of life have carved an indelible mark on the young Ni Ping.
The word father completely disappeared in her expectations, and the gap between Ni Ping and her father gradually deepened, and after her parents divorced, Ni Ping never called Liu Shijie "Daddy" again.
Sometimes Liu Shijie came to send them living expenses, and when he saw a pair of children who wanted to say something caring, Ni Ping would always run away.
On a birthday, my father rushed over to take Ni Ping and her brother to the park to play, but throughout the day, the brothers and sisters were reluctant to talk to their father.
In the evening, when his father sent them home, Ni Ping's mother stopped him at the door and said to him, "You are not welcome to be children, don't take them out in the future." ”
From then on, even if he would send living expenses every time, his father rarely appeared in front of Ni Ping again.
Maybe one night before falling asleep, the little girl will remember the days when her father chased mosquitoes from her and coaxed her to go to bed quickly, and when she got up the next day, she didn't have to face the endless quarrels of her parents, nor did she have to hide in the corner alone and cry silently.
Her father's impression gradually faded, and Ni Ping's life seemed to return to a quiet and simple appearance.
The mother lives alone with two children, and although she also loves Ni Ping, she still takes more care of her brother.
Ni Ping spilled the resentment of the lack of father's love in her life and the "injustice" suffered in the single-parent family on Liu Shijie, believing that her father's departure led to all this.
Liu Shijie has no way to explain the complexity of the feelings between husband and wife to his daughter, his parents are gentle and kind people, but the personality incompatibility makes the two people unable to tolerate each other and live together.
The cold and hard attitude of his ex-wife also makes Liu Shijie lack the opportunity to meet with his children, not to mention the hurt and sensitive emotions that his daughter has suffered as a result.
Since childhood, I witnessed my mother complaining about my father's "desperate feelings" again and again, the gap between father and daughter gradually deepened, when I was admitted to the Shandong Academy of Arts, in order to make my mother happy, Ni Ping changed her mother's surname to Ni, but this move also stung her father's heart.
Father and daughter became the most familiar strangers
After graduating from university, Ni Ping was assigned to work at the Shandong Provincial Drama Theatre.
Due to her good image and good temperament, Ni Ping has been favored by the director many times, starring in many film and television dramas such as "They Are Not Strangers" and "Snow City", and was selected as the best supporting actress of the "Golden Eagle Award" with this, and her career has been singing all the way.
His daughter's efforts and achievements Liu Shijie are all in his eyes, he is happy and proud of his daughter, but he is also secretly worried about this, his daughter has become more powerful, so do he have the opportunity to wait until she shouts "Daddy" again?
After Ni Ping became famous, she often returned to Qingdao to visit her mother, but she never contacted her father.
Occasionally Liu Shijie took the initiative to call her daughter, Ni Ping was also a faint response, there was no long-term relationship and companionship, the relationship between father and daughter was polite and distant, often after a simple greeting, I did not know what to say.
One day Ni Ping was ready to go home from work, just out of the CCTV building, she heard someone behind her shouting at her, she looked back, it was her father standing under the tree, carrying two cans of shrimp paste waiting for her.
Ni Ping was very surprised, her father never told her that he wanted to see him, but he suddenly came over, and he didn't know if he could find someone directly, so he waited for a day at the place where she worked.
Ni Ping brought her father home, along the way her father has been recalling the past with her, saying that when she was a child, Ni Ping lived in her grandmother's house, and every time she went to visit her daughter, Xiao Ni Ping quarreled that she wanted to eat shrimp paste, and she bought her a lot at one time.
The way his daughter took a big bite and ate something was so cute that he still remembers.
Liu Shijie came to visit his daughter, I don't know how Ni Ping has lived in these years, what she loves to eat and what to wear, I remember the little girl in her memory who likes to eat shrimp paste.
At this time, Grandma was living with Ni Ping, and unlike his daughter's complaints, the old man admired the former son-in-law, and as soon as Liu Shijie entered the door, he personally cooked a few hometown dishes for him, and said that he was a "sentient and righteous".
With the increase of age, Ni Ping also gradually understood the complicated story between her parents, her father was not cold and ruthless in her family, but her personality was so, after all, she could not be forced, and gradually became less extreme.
Liu Shijie lived in Beijing for two days, and before getting on the plane back to Qingdao, Liu Shijie asked his daughter, "When you go back to Qingdao, will I go to see you?" ”
Her father's caution finally cut a crack in the ice wall in Ni Ping's heart for many years, and she took the initiative to say, "When I return to Qingdao in the future, I will go to see you." ”
Ni Ping, who has achieved some success in her career, has also ushered in blossoming fruition in love.
During her time at school, she met her first love boyfriend Guo Da, who was also a famous sketch actor later.
At that time, Ni Ping had not yet graduated, and she was already attracting much attention in the show business circle. At this time, Guo Da was only a sketch actor, and he was not famous.
The disparity in the identities of the two and Guo Da's family situation, so Ni Ping's mother opposed the love affair between the two, so Ni Ping also had a big fight with her mother, and finally Ni Ping and Guo Da's relationship lasted less than a year, and then it broke down.
After graduation, Ni Ping was assigned to the drama theater, met and fell in love with her colleagues, and married.
Out of the element of gambling with her mother, Ni Ping accepted the pursuit of her colleagues without a deep understanding of each other's situation and without establishing a solid emotional foundation, and the two fell in love and soon married, and Ni Ping gave birth to a daughter in the second year of marriage.
Later, Ni Ping was transferred to Beijing to work, the husband and wife had long-term emotional problems in different places, Ni Ping and her husband agreed to divorce after consultation, and the daughter was sentenced to her husband to raise, which is also the regret of Ni Ping's life.
During the hosting of "Variety Show", Ni Ping met Chen Kaige, who had just returned to China at that time, and Ni Ping was attracted by Chen Kaige's temperament, and the two soon fell in love.
Ni Ping and Chen Kaige were very busy at that time, Chen Kaige returned to China and began to prepare for the film, Ni Ping silently supported him behind his back, accompanied Chen Kaige for many years, and even played the role of Chen Kaige's wife.
However, Ni Ping's years of efforts did not get a corresponding response in the end, because Chen Kaige insisted on non-marriage, so Ni Ping has been silently waiting for Chen Kaige to turn back behind her back.
In the early days of the daughter's love affair, the father was worried about Chen Kaige's idea of not marrying, and when he called, he gently reminded his daughter not to be overly obsessed, but Ni Ping, who was in love at the time, did not understand her father's implications.
Until the appearance of Chen Hong, who had a big belly, Chen Kaige felt sorry for Ni Ping, but he still left her and married Chen Hong to the United States.
Chen Hong
This shattered Ni Ping's dream. This relationship with Chen Kaige also became the pain of Ni Ping's life, and in the later published "Days", Ni Ping used the four words "no dignity" to describe this relationship.
After the two broke up completely, the father did not talk too much about his daughter, but only comforted his daughter that most of the things encountered in her life were not satisfactory, and there was no need to mind.
After leaving Chen Kaige, Ni Ping was introduced to her fourth boyfriend Wang Wenlan, and after understanding each other, the two progressed well, and all aspects of the conditions were met.
Ni Ping also began her fourth relationship and announced her marriage a year later.
For her husband, Ni Ping still chose to get pregnant at the age of 40 and gave birth to her husband a son, Huzi.
For his daughter to finally start to lean towards a stable life, Liu Shijie is also very happy. When Ni Ping went back to see him, she often mentioned her grandson, looking worried and happy.
As she grew older, Ni Ping, a new mother, became more and more able to understand her father's concern and felt the warmth of long-lost affection.
Ni Ping and Liu Shijie visit each other more frequently, and they will also take the initiative to care for and buy gifts for their father and stepmother.
Look back at the place where you were and go back
However, just when Ni Ping should have enjoyed a happy life, fate seemed to set a "hurdle" for her.
In the Spring Festival Gala of 1999, when Zhao Benshan performed the skit "Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow", he said that "Ni Ping is the lover of my dreams", when the camera was given to Ni Ping, who was sitting under the stage, and smiled gently and beautifully.
No one could have imagined that just a few days ago, Ni Ping's son had just been diagnosed with congenital cataracts, and Ni Ping, who had been hit again, still stood on the stage of the Spring Festival Gala, bringing the audience the same smile as usual.
It wasn't until she thought of her son's illness after stepping down that she couldn't help but cry, and she decided to cure her son no matter what the cost.
Tiger Zi's illness is very troublesome, the cost of treatment is very large, Ni Ping's life has once again dragged into the bottom, fortunately, the family is very concerned, Ni Ping's mother even moved over to help take care of her grandson.
After Liu Shijie heard about it, he frequently called to inquire about the situation, and Ni Ping could only express her reassurance to her father.
To Ni Ping's heartbreak, her husband Wang Wenlan did not shoulder the responsibility of being a father after learning the bad news, and the two subsequently divorced, and the child's upbringing and treatment were borne by Ni Ping alone.
Liu Shijie was very worried about his daughter after hearing about it, and Ni Ping often missed her son when she took her son abroad for treatment.
However, Liu Shijie was old at this time, and diabetes was detected earlier, and he soon became terminally ill.
At this time, Liu's father, who was lying on the hospital bed, had the only wish to look at his daughter again and listen to her call her father. The brother called Ni Ping with tears in his eyes, and Ni Ping rushed back to Shandong on the same day without saying a word.
At the moment of entering the ward, Ni Ping only saw an old man with white hair and skinny bones, Ni Ping realized at this moment that her father was so old, holding her father's hand, and the gap between father and daughter melted in this grip.
Fortunately, Huzi was temporarily arranged in the United States, Ni Ping's mother used to take care of it, ni Ping earned money to support her family in China, and she was able to take care of her father in time.
At the end of her father's life, Ni Ping paid for her efforts and personally took care of her father.
From seeing a doctor to daily washing, Ni Ping personally served her father to live. The father and daughter did not have the emotional basis for living together for a long time, but these dirty work and troublesome work Ni Ping never complained.
In the quiet ward, Ni Ping looked at the bedridden old man, thinking about the difficulties of living with her mother in the past, and finally she only sighed, covered her father with a quilt and asked him if he was uncomfortable.
The "daddy" didn't shout out, but the father should have "heard" and felt it, because he left with a smile on his face. After 30 years, the father and daughter finally reconciled in silent tears.
Liu Shijie still died, Ni Ping's heart was empty, she personally arranged his funeral, sent away her father's last journey.
Since her son's diagnosis, Ni Ping has been running at home and abroad, ruining her son's illness. Things finally turned around, Huzi finally recovered when he was ten years old, but Liu Shijie couldn't see it, which was something he had been talking about before he died.
Ni Ping is well known for her filial piety in the show business circle, but when she selected the most filial artist in the show business, she politely refused this honor.
Ni Ping believes that everything she does is what she should do as a child, and she does not have to praise her for doing great things. Just like a person, do not steal or rob, this is the duty of the work, do not have to take out praise.
In Ni Ping's life, fate gave her mostly bitterness more than sweetness, but she brewed bitterness into another flavor.
She has loved reading all her life and is gentle but principled in her children's education.
From Ni Ping's interview, it is not difficult to see the influence of her relatives on her - the love and tenacity of her grandmother, the strength and stubbornness of her mother, and the tolerance and loyalty of her father, all of which give Ni Ping a valuable example to learn from.
Once her father was a pain that Ni Ping could not mention, but with more than ten years of understanding, she also understood that even the family members who loved each other would have the pain of having to hurt each other, but this did not mean that love did not exist.
This may be the reason why Ni Ping can still smile and face life and look down on all kinds of past.
Now Ni Ping has finally worked hard, her family is happy, her son has grown up healthily, and her life has finally returned to peace and fulfillment.