Why didn't my mother ever understand me? Why is it all up to her? Why is it all my fault? Why do I always compare myself to others? Why do you always treat me like a child?
Mom just didn't understand me, but I knew she loved me. My mother has been strict with me since I was a child, taking most of the traditional ways of my parents, that is, "fighting", as long as I do something wrong, she will beat me, and she will not tell any big truth, she will chase me around, I am still locked out of the door, eating on the steps, but after she beat me, I will feel regret, heartache, what is the use? I don't believe that hitting me and hurting in your heart.
She gave me all the material abundance, whether it was clothes or food, as long as I wanted, she did not hesitate to buy me, she wanted face, said anything better than others, but he never knew what I wanted, I wanted to understand, I wanted to accompany, not her "for your own good" can satisfy my spiritual loss, I followed my mother and everyone praised me as a good girl, because I was afraid, I did a little bit of etiquette, she would stare at me, hit me with her arm, so I had to be dignified, polite, and perfect. Only to make him think that I am not so ashamed. She always emphasizes that I should "study well", "don't be an uneducated person like me again", "our family is different from others", "it's all for your own good", I know the importance of learning, but he always emphasizes that these make me feel deeply guilty, make me feel different from others, and he imposes his unfinished will on me and lets me continue to complete the task of breaking through. At one point I even thought I had learned it for her.
When I grew up, my mother still restricted me, she did not support me to wear makeup, did not ask me to go to KTV, did not allow me to hang things I liked in the room, did not ask me to make friends she did not like, even I did housework will blame me for not doing well, let me learn to learn people, I am so angry.
Look, a seemingly nasty mother and a rebellious daughter, in fact, they all love each other, they just can't express love, my mother loves me very much, but the method is very extreme, I love her, but I still haven't said the sentence "I love you". She is also the first time to be a mother, I am also the first time to be a daughter, even if my mother tries to be careful all her life, it may bring me harm, just like I know that my mother loves me, but I sometimes complain about her, we can't be perfect, we can't become the perfect person in each other's hearts. If you look at your mothers in that era, their ideas are bound to be affected by backwardness, and their poverty limits their education. They may not want you to repeat the same path as she did, they don't want you to be so uncultured, their ideas may be so simple. Mom may never understand me, but I know myself, I know what I want, I know what she wants to see, she must think of me well, want me to live happily. We all stand on the shoulders of our parents to watch the bustling world, but we still hate their shoulders, so we push him away, but as long as you look back, they will always be behind you.
More than the top is less than the bottom. Sometimes I envy those who are rich in family, envy that they have a mother who understands them very well, but we envy others at the same time, but also by others envy, I remember when I was very young, there was a good friend, one day I was beaten by my mother, went to her to complain, she said "you are satisfied, I want to be disciplined by my mother, taste what it feels like, but I didn't." Her eyes were red, and I remembered that she had no mother when she was very young, and I bowed my head in shame. Sometimes when you find that there are no shoes to wear, some people do not have feet, what you have now, may be someone else's lifelong dream, I reflect, I am content, I cherish, I repair.
Mom's previous harshness made me now a polite and discerning person, and the material enjoyment she gave me made me have a lot of confidence and made me feel that I couldn't be worse than others, and I wouldn't have inferiority. I learn to sympathize with others, learn to be kind, this is a habit that is inadvertently formed, instead of struggling with what you have lost, it is better to see what you have gained, what has taught you, a lifetime is so short, even a good love is not enough, where is the time to hate?
Very young teachers will tell us to encounter contradictions "to communicate", but until now, I have not talked to my parents very formally, calmly to communicate, we can not take that step, just in a different way to care for each other, she has been with strict love to love me, and I just want to use action to tell her: I grew up, although a little rebellious, but I also love you.
