This is the 261st true story of Selfie
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Ma Indium/Dictation
Jun Kobayashi / Written
Zu Yifei/Editor
My name is Ma Zhenhong (@Ma Jie in Shanghai), because my appearance and mentality are relatively young, and everyone is used to calling me Ma Jie. Over the past few decades, age has never limited me. When I was 19 years old, I was an ordinary workshop woman in a shanghai confectionery factory, and later I boldly resigned to sell clothes; at the age of 27, I went to Japan at my own expense to study fashion design, and a few years later Iwai Shunji's film "Swallowtail Butterfly" as a vegetarian.
At 55, at the age when women of the same age were retiring, I started experimenting with professional models, endorsing clothing brands, and going to fashion weeks to walk the runway. I'm 60 years old and still working as an actor and model for what I love.
This is a photo of me wearing my daughter's branded outfit.
A native of Shanghai, I was born in Luwan District in 1961 to parents who worked at the Jiangnan Shipyard. Even me, they had four children. At the age of 6, I moved to Xuhui District with my family, living in the old public house allocated by my parents' unit, counting my grandparents, a total of eight people, squeezed into a small house of only 23 square meters.
My father was very popular in the factory, not only teaching people to repair cars, but also often being invited to show movies for everyone. Every time the factory organized a screening, I would go with him, watching him crank the projector in his hand to the sound of creaking gears, the light slowly projected from a small square to the big screen, the dust in the factory hovering in the light and shadow, rising, dancing... During the days when I grew up watching movies, I had an enlightenment about my aesthetic perception.
When I went to school in elementary school, I found a leather band and tied two small braids on my head, and the teacher saw me from a distance and shouted, "Comb your hair and go back to school." Middle school is more beautiful, once I took a pair of blue military pants to find a tailor to make flared pants, and then asked my mother for money with a jacket, I was very proud, I did not expect to be stopped by the teacher at the school gate, saying "You can't wear your pants."
In school, my mind is actually not stupid, physics, geometry are very good, just can not calm down the heart to memorize things, so the overall score is not very good. The teacher once left me alone in the classroom to open a small stove and advised me to study hard. Unfortunately, I didn't have much motivation at that time, I was confused, and I just felt that I couldn't learn. After graduating from high school at the age of 19, my student life ended, and in the same year I was assigned to work as a female worker in a confectionery factory in Shanghai.
After leaving school, the cruelty of life rushed towards me. Shanghai is particularly cold during the rainy season, the northwest wind penetrates into the bones through the cold, and the candy factory must maintain a low temperature, otherwise the sugar will melt away. A group of us girls wrapped in large cotton jackets, a turnip and a pit, stood guard on the assembly line. The factory canopy was ventilated, and the cold wind whistled in through the cuffs and collars, and I could only endure the cold, while following the progress of the assembly line, while freeing my hands to wrap the cotton jacket, and did three years of apprenticeship.
I don't know why, I was always lined up to work early and middle school, and I had to get up before 5:30 every day. The noon break was also tense, only half an hour, just two mouthfuls of food, there was an overseer urging us to work, rude attitude as if we were prisoners. After a month of exhaustion, I only got 39 yuan in hand.
After work, I realized that I really should have studied well before, and I regretted that I didn't listen to the teacher. I wanted to go to night school and ask the factory for leave, but the factory refused to let anyone go. In those days, family background had a great influence on a person's encounters, my parents were ordinary workers, and I hit the south wall in many ways except for not being able to go to night school. But I don't want to be a factory worker all my life, and I try my best to find opportunities, eager to get out of here as soon as possible.
When I was younger, this outfit was also very fashionable to look at now.
It happened that at that time, my brother went to the sea to start a clothing business. The whole process is actually not complicated, that is, to buy goods from Guangzhou and set up stalls in Shanghai. At that time, there was already the concept of "ancient", and some good second-hand clothing was taken back to be re-sold, but the "ancient clothes" at that time were dirty and smelly. Before selling, our family will do one more thing than others, that is, wash and iron the clothes. At this time, it is basically the whole family, under the command of dad, washing and drying while ironing, tidying up.
One afternoon, after I finished my morning shift, I put on a jacket and hurried to my brother's stall on Huating Road to help. At that time, Huating Road was very famous, many foreigners and celebrities would go there to buy things, and the streets were lined with such open-air stalls. It is said to be a stall, but it is just a shelf of about 90 centimeters, hanging clothes on it, standing on the side and shouting. When I was standing in front of the stall to help, a man stepped straight up to me and asked, "Do you have this dress on you?" ”
I looked down at my jacket, which was actually a fabric of my own choice and went to Wuyuan Road to find a tailor to make. Although I wondered in my heart, I didn't think much about it and said, "Do you like it?" Likes can be sold to you. Unexpectedly, the man bought it for about a hundred yuan without saying a word. This incident suddenly woke me up: it turned out that I could make my own clothes and sell them.
After having the idea of doing a clothing business, I found a female classmate to partner with, and she was very excited to hear what I said. But the two of us only have a few dozen yuan a month in wages, where is the capital? Later, this classmate took me to find her brother, who was very smart, made some money from stocks, and happily borrowed 700 yuan to us. With this money, I secretly made up my mind: strive to pay it off in a month!
I'm a little different in terms of dress style and life choices.
Although I handed in my resignation letter early and applied for a self-employed business license in Shanghai around 1984, the factory leaders did not agree and wanted to go to my family to persuade me to give up. I told my mom that if they come to you, you say that the child grows up, she can decide for herself, she has her ideas and a future. I had no problem seeing my family in the factory, and finally I had to release people.
I took the 700 yuan, used 290 of it to buy a sewing machine, and the rest of the money bought all the cloth. Because it was the first time I tried, I was very cautious, only picked a blue tartan cloth, intending to use it to make different styles of clothing, so that not only did not waste fabrics, but also found the most popular styles, the most cost-effective.
With these materials, I first went to Wuyuan Road to find a tailor to help me cut all the styles I could think of, skirts, pants, and tops. When I got home, I sewed them all one by one with a sewing machine and made them into 7 different styles. I was most impressed by a flared skirt, the cloth shape of the flared skirt is very simple, it is an unfolded arc surface, there is only one patchwork after the two sides are sewn up, and the pleats pulled down by the lattice are very beautiful, I like it very much.
The next day, I took the prepared clothes to my brother's stall, but I didn't expect that the clothes were all sold out in a short time. When I got home, I hurriedly used the rest of the fabric to make a flared skirt, or sold it out of stock. At that time, a skirt sold for 17 yuan, and the cost was about 7 yuan more. During that time, I stared at this flared skirt to sell, into the fabric, cut, sell the goods, around these three things busy.
What I didn't expect was that it wasn't long before the stalls along the street began to appear in the same trumpet skirts as mine. Later, the royal blue fabrics of all Shanghai could not be bought. It is not unusual to think about it, after all, there were no special styles of clothes to pick in that era, and the skirts I made were simple, and any tailor who saw them could imitate them.
Jeans pants legs turned outwards, and it is still popular to wear them this way.
During that time, I also tried the very popular foreign trade orders, but I had no channels to get the goods, and I had to enter a batch of men's long-sleeved shirts, and finally sold them so-so. After trying it a few times, I decided to sell clothes of my own design.
In the autumn and winter, I designed a coat with a short and narrow upper body and a large lower body, which I found inspiration from Japanese magazines, thought it looked good, and made it according to my own ideas. In fact, this coat is very picky, not everyone can control, and one piece sells for 180 pieces, the price is not cheap. But it is this special dress that attracts many people to buy, and also makes me make a lot of friends, white-collar workers in foreign companies, foreigners, professors in fashion colleges... Even TV stations come to the booth to do interviews.
When the business was doing well, my brother introduced me to a boyfriend, who was a high-ranking cadre with good conditions, and his parents were intellectuals in scientific research institutes. My brother felt that this boy was suitable for me, and he said, "Girls should find a stable family to marry early", and I myself still don't understand. Not long after we were together, I found out that I was pregnant, so I hurriedly married according to the wishes of the two families.
During that time, the various discomforts of preparing for the wedding and pregnancy made me inevitably reduce my investment in my career, and my partners chose to leave, and the clothing business soon fell into a bottleneck. My career was not going well, and I didn't get any solace in my marriage. My husband is smart, has a lot of friends, loves to play cards, play mahjong, and often wins some small money, but I don't think those are my favorite.
The biggest difference between the two of us is in concept, in his opinion, even in my stage of being a female worker, we should be satisfied with the status quo, in his words, "you have food to eat, you can still live." Perhaps, this is the difference between me and him, the two people's ideas are always incompatible. I didn't answer his words at the time, and all I thought about was how to escape, to escape from this life that I didn't want.
The old photograph I kept, the lower body was wearing flared pants with a large hem.
In the 1990s, when the wave of studying in Japan was on the rise, almost every Shanghainese had relatives and friends around them, and my brother was also involved a year ago. In 1988, my child had just turned one year old. Knowing that my husband and I were not in harmony, my brother encouraged me on the other end of the phone: "Come to Japan to study, you can work to earn money, and you can change your destiny", listening to his words, I was moved.
In our family, growing up, I have always been my own decision, and this time is no exception, and my mother does not say much after knowing my decision. I was very reluctant to have children, but I knew that I had to change my life now, and no one could help me, so I finally decided to go to Japan. On August 15, 1988, with reluctance to the status quo and hope for the future, the 27-year-old set off from Shanghai Hongqiao and boarded a plane to Osaka, Japan.
After landing, my brother came to pick me up, probably because I didn't want to suffer, my brother retired the student dormitory that was originally rented, and rented an apartment in the city to live with me, so that I could have a care. The location of the apartment was close to the school and the working restaurant, which allowed me not to spend too much time on my commute.
I went to the language school at 9:30 every morning, went to buy vegetables and cook after 3:30 p.m., went to work at 6:30 p.m., and worked until 2:30 a.m., working 8 hours a day, and when I got home, I fell asleep. I knew neither English nor Japanese, and initially worked as a dishwasher at a karaoke shop, and the boss was also my guarantor, taking the opportunity to keep my salary low.
This was taken after I arrived in Japan, and I was experiencing someone else's motorcycle.
Because of the language barrier, I put a small dictionary in my place of work, and when I met a Japanese person talking to me, I handed him a pen and paper and asked him to write it down, and when I finished my work, I went through the dictionary and then took notes. Over time, I naturally learned some common phrases in Japanese. In addition, I asked myself to memorize 20 more words before going to bed every day, and after three months, I was able to communicate easily in Japanese.
In addition to going to language school and going home to catch up with homework, almost all of my time is spent working to make money, and I always feel that I don't have enough time. This busy state persisted for nearly two years, although it was exhausting, but I enjoyed it, because every day of hard work allowed me to see the future, unlike the days in the candy factory, I couldn't see my head at a glance.
Two years passed quickly, and my language visa was about to expire. At that time, many people would choose to become black households in order to continue to stay in Japan, which was the fastest way to stay and make money. But I couldn't do that, I was worried about my daughter in Shanghai and needed a passport to fly back to china to see her.
After graduating from a language school, I found a four-year fashion design school in Tokyo, and planned to find a job related to my major in Japan after finishing my studies, and if I was lucky, I might even get a work permit. I also understood that this meant that I had to put in a lot more effort than ever before.
In 1990, at the age of 29, I took a picture of myself in a costume school.
Once, when I came home from class, I didn't have time to eat dinner and rushed to work, and when I arrived at the restaurant where I worked, I was embarrassed to tell the other employees in the store, and I smoked two cigarettes and started working. Later, I was busy with palpitations, uncomfortable, sweating a lot, and my whole face was pale, and the boss asked me what was wrong, and I said" I felt uncomfortable, I might have to take leave.
At that time, the restaurant where I worked was in a basement, there were no windows on all sides, and after the boss agreed, I slowly walked up to the wall, pushed open the door to breathe in the fresh outdoor air, and actually felt a lot more comfortable. Then I got on my bike and walked slowly towards home. Along the way, the more I rode, the more I felt bad, and when I got home, I only felt sad: because of the leave, I lost a day's salary, which is really a pity!
In Japan, almost every day, I calculated that the salary I received was basically all saved up and sent to my parents and in-laws to cover their daily expenses. Relying on my own hard work to earn money to support my family, coupled with my brothers supporting each other, relatives in Shanghai may think that I am living well and basically will not interfere in my life.
While in Japan, I put this picture of my daughter in my wallet and opened it when I thought about her.
In the daily trivialities day after day, a chance film shooting experience became a spice for my ordinary life. At that time, at school, there was a female classmate who had a good relationship with me who was also from Shanghai, her parents were veteran actors of Shanghai Children's Theater, she came to Japan to realize her film dreams, and met a lot of local Japanese screenwriters, directors and NHK production teams, through her, I inadvertently came into contact with this industry.
Remember that it was 1997, and the news was all over the street about Princess Diana's death, and one afternoon I suddenly got a call from this classmate, saying that a director named Shunji Iwai was recruiting actors for the movie at hand, and asked me if I wanted to try it. I was very happy to hear that it was naturally a good opportunity to perform in front of the camera, so I agreed with my mouth and took five or six photos of myself to the set for an interview according to what she taught.
It just so happens that I usually like to take pictures, and this kind of photo grabs a lot.
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After a brief greeting on set, the casting director gave me a copy of the script lines for me to read. I looked closely at the dialogue and felt that this was a very naughty and a little bad character, so I asked, "Can you give me a cigarette?" ”。 Taking the cigarette handed by the other party, I cocked my feet and read the lines with a cigarette in one hand and the script in the other.
After another week, the news of the interview passed came, I called my classmate, she listened more happily than I did, I said "my lines are so few, not at all enjoyable", she replied in Shanghainese, "Well, the anchors of other TV stations have not been selected, it is already very good." I thought to myself, she must have rolled her eyes on the other end of the phone.
Neither of us expected that this play would later be shortlisted for the Japan Academy Award for Best Picture and win the Most Talked About Film Award, which is "Swallowtail Butterfly".
Stills from "Swallowtail Butterfly," in which I played the supporting actress, when I was 36 years old.
In the process of making movies, I only care about whether it is fun or not, so I am not nervous at all, and the more people there are, the more excited I am. After shooting, I put down the film, after all, at that time, I was still locked in a heavy and repetitive daily work.
The only thing I feel guilty about is my daughter. For more than a decade in Japan, I would return to china every year to see her and communicate with my sister on the phone about her children's condition, but as my daughter grew older, I felt more and more responsible for returning to her. In 2001, after I returned to China and divorced my child's father, this feeling became even stronger.
After the millennium, China's development rate has long been different, and I have the idea of returning to China. I thought that after returning home, I could accompany my daughter and parents, and I could find a Japanese company to be a white-collar worker, and my life should go on.
I was tired of working and studying in Japan, but I can always find my smile in the images that remain.
When I was 40 years old, I returned to Shanghai from Japan, only to find that my relationship with my daughter had gone terribly wrong. In her eyes, I was just a beautiful aunt dressed in a fashionable way, "very selfish and very bad". After all, in her upbringing, she never lived with me, even if I came back every year, but the status quo of more than ten years could not be changed because I returned to China, so I did not expect her to be willing to accept the discipline of a "mother".
I could feel that my daughter actually needed me in her heart, just looking for the maternal love she should have in her own way. For example, I often find that the clothes at home seem to have been passive, and once I paid attention to it, I found that my daughter was secretly rummaging through my suitcase, observing my wardrobe, trying on it like a little adult.
Even if we quarrel with our daughter every time, we will hug afterwards, never overnight, often after the fight, two people hugging each other and crying. Originally, I planned to work in a Japanese company after returning to China, but for various reasons, I put it on hold and did not go to work, but I relied on investing in gold, stocks, and so on to ensure my life.
Later, my daughter gradually grew up, her aesthetics and tastes were particularly good, and there was also her own clothing brand, I secretly rejoiced in my heart, maybe I had a subtle influence on her. In the past few years, she went from Shanghai to Shenzhen to work, perhaps the experience of working and living alone, which made her understand me more and began to feel that "my mother was not easy back then."
Our relationship became more and more relaxed and became like friends. She would often post pictures of me in the circle of friends saying it was her beautiful mom. It was precisely because of these photos that I unexpectedly became a model.
The first attempt was in 2017, when I was 54 years old. At that time, a clothing brand saw my photo in her daughter's circle of friends and wanted to invite me to walk the catwalk, so she contacted me through her daughter. When I got to the scene, I realized that I was ranked last in the finale. I was dressed very solemnly, I felt that the scene was very shocking, and when I looked at the other models around, it was obvious that they were all professional. But the organizers didn't seem to care, so they let me be bold and be myself.
Every time I shoot, I am very open, the more people the better, in short, I enjoy the process.
After the first experience, I became more and more into the state. I was most impressed by my collaboration with a lingerie brand last year, when a girl approached me and she said that on the day of shooting, there might be someone younger than you, maybe in better shape than you, and also very good-looking, and she introduced various situations and asked me if I would be stressed.
I said at the time, I certainly don't, beauty has no age limit, I have been young, I have been beautiful, so I don't need to compare with different ages. Like the slogan they wrote for me: "I am 58 years old, I still love my body".
In fact, in the beginning, I was not so good at it. Early on with magazine photo shoots, I'm not very experienced and kind of mind my age. Every time the photographer made me laugh, I would think of the crow's feet in the corners of my eyes, and I didn't dare to let go of the smile, but could only deliberately grin and keep my eyes wide open. As you can imagine, this state must be very embarrassing. When I got home, I would reflect, and later found that as long as I let go of my mentality and came up with my most natural state, the inadvertent feeling effect was particularly good, and it was almost impossible to see that I was posing.
This is an ad shot for lingerie brands and I'm the oldest of all the models.
Finding my own status, more and more photographers and brands are designated to want to work with me. Later, my daughter felt that her mother was too busy to come, so she offered to be my agent and help me communicate brand and cooperation. She didn't want me to work too much and be too tired, and would help me deal with a lot of things in the early stages, and from that time on, I felt that the identities of the two of us had changed, making me feel that my daughter was taking care of me, not me taking care of her.
After becoming a professional model, I enjoy this state of fulfillment very much, and I often feel that time is precious and want to keep them to myself to make up for some of the time that was previously wasted. For example, I used to only know how to fall in love, but now I look back and think about how good it would be if I could learn a little more and do some more of what I liked at that time.
In the past, I used to worry about the thoughts of my husband or boyfriend, they wouldn't let you do this, they couldn't do that, and now I think about it, maybe it's the other party's lack of confidence, and now I don't want to be "kidnapped" by anyone.
I often think of doing what I want, want to watch any movie, just take out my phone to find the nearest show and movie theater, no one is okay. I especially enjoy being alone, give me a sewing machine, a few pieces of cloth, I can also live a full day at home, can play a lot of things, have a lot of fun.
It's summer time, and I'm riding my bike to shoot in the streets.
Recently, I designed a pair of pants, which are made by splicing process, which can make people look more three-dimensional and appear long legs, which makes me feel very enjoyable.
I've always felt that it's especially important for people to live a lifetime and find something they love. After so many years, I still have a great passion for designing clothes, and friends often say that when it comes to wearing and design, my eyes immediately shine. Maybe that's love.
For people my age, the main thing is nothing more than square dancing, bringing children, and living in old age, but I don't feel like I have to do it at all. Age does not hinder my pursuit of beauty. I just want to live for myself so calmly and freely. Life is fast and fast, slow and slow, walking and walking, stopping and stopping. On this road, sunlight is the most precious.
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#Selfie My Story#【This group of pictures and texts is exclusively released in today's headlines, and it is strictly forbidden to reprint] The above is the real experience shared by @Ma Jie in Shanghai. This is also the true story of the 261st issue told by the selfie. If you also want to tell your own story, please send a "private message" to tell the "selfie".