Today we talk about such a phenomenon in the relationship, a quarrel to mention the breakup, what do such people think in their hearts? If you have also done such a thing, the teacher can only tell you one sentence: do it well, don't do it next time.
Think about it, if you really wanted to break up, would you say it during a fight? Why did you go earlier? Why say it when you're arguing? When arguing, it means that at this time, it is only the emotions that have come up, the emotions have overshadowed the reason, and I don't really want to break up.
Why do you say break up when you're arguing? Because you want to punish each other and manipulate each other, to put it bluntly, it is to make you feel that you are not happy with me for this matter, and you are going to lose your baby like this again, to punish each other, but this has no effect.
If the other party also wants to break up, you are saying that he is following his wishes, even if he pretends to be very wronged, "I don't want to break up, we have been together for so long", but in fact, he has blossomed in his heart.
If he doesn't want to break up, what he feels is that you give up so lightly, we quarrel and you think about breaking up, too unsure, then maybe he will also move such a thought, this time saved, next time? People also moved this thought, then the next time your relationship, it will not be so stable, and in the end, this kind of harm, you have to bear alone.
This is how many people say to each other to break up, and finally people agree, you are uncomfortable to run to the teacher: "Teacher, I want to redeem, my boyfriend broke up with me", I said: "Why break up?" "I told him." Some people said, "You know I don't want to break up, and you don't know how to keep me," but in fact, you caused this kind of harm.
I said before that it is like when you are fighting with someone, you suddenly pull out a stick to beat someone, but when people see you pulling out a stick, they grab the stick and beat you up, at this time you cover the wound on your body and say, "Oh, he actually beat me", but in fact, have you ever thought: the stick is yours, people are at most legitimate defense, the person who caused the harm is you, and the stick is taken out by you. Breakups are also, breakups are what you say.
If you think that breaking up can punish each other, then you think really too much, many times you think that the quarrel is accidental, in fact, it is inevitable, it is planned by the other party early on, including the breakup you said. That's why you'll find that most of the breakups in real life are mentioned by women.
Because it is the man who makes the decision, it is only you who announces the result, that is, he also wants to break up, deliberately quarrels with you, knowing that after the quarrel you will say OK, I first pretend to keep it, and then agree, the general routine of the scumbag, so it is useless to say that the breakup is useless when arguing.
And men are really different from women, when women argue and break up, it can only mean one thing: you are out of balance in this relationship. You have no other way but to say break up and divorce, you are eager for the other party to keep, but the other party can quickly feel your strong sense of need.
Men are different, if a man mentions a breakup in a relationship, he is sure that you will not leave him, he tries to use this method to control and suppress you.
I also hope to help your feelings, if you have also experienced this emotional breakup and do not know how to deal with it, you can go to my course to see, see you next time.