My husband and I are like glue, and after my mother sent a video, this year can't pass

Original illustration: Meow Meow Xia, narrator: Liu Yan, female

01

When there was still a month to go before the Spring Festival, Fang Lei began to plan.

Buy my dad two bottles of good wine, buy my mom a cashmere sweater, and buy some seafood and fruit.

Back and forth to live for five days, all kinds of relatives, our family's second-hand Canton is really a bit shabby, or bite the teeth to rent a good car back...

Listening to his nagging calculations, I finally couldn't help it: "What's the matter, I won the lottery?" Or is it just a matter of time? Isn't it just a trip back to the hometown, a revival of the masses. ”

Fang Lei didn't know where my fire came from, and he was still insisting: "Go back once a year, your parents are picky, you have to make them happy, you can't underestimate us." ”

These words made my nose sour, and the tears almost didn't fall, but I was determined: "This year, don't go back." ”

Yes, this year, I intend to rebel once.

02

It is reasonable to say that my mother's family is in Jiangxi Town, I am married to Guangzhou, and returning to my mother's house for the New Year should be the most anticipated time of the year.

However, once upon a time, I became more and more timid.

Going home became a heavy burden with heart disease.

It all started with my family situation and That's.

As new immigrants to Guangzhou, we both graduated from university in 2011 and worked in Guangzhou.

I am a pediatric nurse, Fang Lei works as a code farmer in a technology company, and we were introduced to meet and get married.

The down payment of the marriage room was from Fang Lei's parents, and the house only had two rooms and one living room, but it also used most of his parents' savings.

To this day, the old couple is still working away from home to support our small family.

They advised them not to do it, but they refused: "The cost of living in Guangzhou is so high, we take advantage of the fact that the health is still good, and help you more." ”

To tell the truth, every time I go to the factory to visit my in-laws, Fang Lei and I are not willing to go.

03

And the contrast between my parents and Fang Lei's parents is simply too strong.

The first time they took Fang Lei home, their parents feasted on their friends, told their neighbors about their young daughter who graduated from college, and found an engineer who worked in a large company.

Mom and Dad were warm and respectful to Fang Lei at that time.

The best room in the family for him to live in, buy brand toiletries that they usually don't want to use, and even specially install air conditioning for Fang Lei...

What makes us restless is actually the difference in the attitude of our parents to Fang Lei and the brother-in-law, the two sons-in-law.

I also have an older sister who is 5 years older than me, who works in her hometown after graduating from junior high school.

Later, I met my brother-in-law, and the two got married first, started a business, sold clothes, and opened a restaurant, but they didn't make any money.

Life was very poor, three days a small quarrel, five days a big quarrel.

When I first saw Fang Lei, my father took him to educate his brother-in-law: "This person who reads is different, and the office is comfortable." I put the words here, the same is a milk compatriot, their sisters in the future this day, I am afraid that it will be heaven and earth. What kind of land is Guangzhou, and those who can take root there are dragons and phoenixes among people. ”

Not only that, the two sons-in-law were in front of them, and Fang Lei had obviously taken the teapot in his hand and wanted to pour tea for everyone.

My father would throw a glance at my brother-in-law, who hurried up and grabbed the teapot.

The family sat down to eat together, and my dad would let my sister and brother-in-law pour wine, and then let them go to the kitchen to add a dish...

My sister and brother-in-law's business has been losing money again and again in those years, and they have not been helped by their parents, and their children have always been carried by their parents.

Therefore, in the face of such an attitude of their parents, they silently endured.

But Fang Lei and I were like needle felts.

04

Privately, I didn't do my parents' job less, so that they wouldn't be so arrogant to their sisters and brothers-in-law.

My father was not convinced: "You and Fang Lei are both college students and readers, living in big cities, and honoring their ancestors." Your sister and brother-in-law are different, they read less, they know that they are old, you have to let them do more work, more eyes. ”

My father said so, and my mother was also helping on the side, telling me again and again about how my sister was playful from childhood to my eldest sister and how I loved to learn.

The conclusion was: "If it is a dragon, it must be coiled, if it is a tiger, it must lie down, and your sister has today, it is all caused by herself, and people must accept their fate." Our family is to encourage future generations to be self-motivated. ”

Dad was a cashier in the town government, and mom also worked in the town government canteen, and in their opinion, the sister and brother-in-law were mixed up like today, so that they could not lift their heads in the town.

I advised my parents that it was right to urge my sister and brother-in-law to be motivated, but I didn't want to be a brother-in-law after people, thick houses and thin brothers-in-law, so it hurts feelings.

As a result, my parents had a tone: "You have been out for many years, so hard, go home for two days, they are sisters and brothers-in-law, make some efforts, be enthusiastic, shouldn't they?" To get them to do something is to give them face..."

05

I can no longer refute my parents' words, but they do not mean that I agree with them.

Now that I think about it, the change in my parents' attitude towards me and Fang Lei began when I gave birth to my daughter Qi Qi.

From the moment she learned that I was pregnant, my mother said in a big package that she had come to Guangzhou to help us with the baby.

She came and went, but only stayed until my full moon left.

Guangzhou and our life in Guangzhou are too far apart from my mother's imagination.

First of all, our small two-bedroom house made her feel depressed.

Then it was That Fang Lei and I often worked overtime, and my mother was not distressed by our hardships, but felt that we almost handed over all the food and drink to her, and simply took her as an old mother.

She once offered to let us find a babysitter, and she was only responsible for keeping an eye on the babysitter.

But I also told her the truth: "We have to pay so much mortgage every month, we can't afford to hire a nanny, and the family is so small, where can we stay for the next nanny." 」 ”

My mother thought that she came to Guangzhou to enjoy happiness with me in the big city, but she did not expect that our life was tight.

In this regard, I also assured her that My life with Fang Lei had just started, and everything would be fine.

06

However, my mother did not say any words of encouragement.

And I obviously feel that her attitude towards Fang Lei has taken a big turn.

How attentive it was before, how cold it is now.

Once, Fang Lei came back from overtime at 11 o'clock in the evening, and I went to the kitchen to give him hot rice and hot dishes.

As a result, my mother followed up and whispered, "I can make so much money in a month, and I have to let people saddle up and serve the horses." ”

Then, she took out my hot dishes and said to Fang Lei in a wordous manner: "Eat more, work overtime every day and don't see the leader pay you more, which unit finds you, it is really cost-effective." ”

Of course I could tell that my mom was being sarcastic.

Fortunately, Fang Lei was a straight man who said to my mother in a big way: "Mom, disturb your rest." My job is like this, don't work hard, ten thousand people can replace you, get used to it. ”

Fang Lei buried his head and swallowed, and did not see my mother's disgusted expression.

But I don't have a taste in my heart, this is not a taste, and there are many more.

In the month when my mother was in Guangzhou, every time she talked to my father, she was complaining about how shabby we were, and she was disappointed to inform my father: "I still want to get involved with them, and it is good not to be nibbled by them." ”

07

After the full moon, my mother insisted on returning to her hometown.

Saying that she was not at home, my father ate and fooled, saying that her sister's son was brought up by her, and he also thought of her.

I didn't keep it.

Although I needed help, I was relieved to think that I no longer had to face her criticism every day.

After the maternity leave, we hired an aunt with children during the day.

The nature of my work often requires night shifts and temporary overtime, so I don't know how many times, when I temporarily work overtime, it just so happens that Fang Lei is also working overtime to catch up with the project.

There was no way, I had to take Qi Qi to the hospital to work overtime.

Occasionally, when my aunt had something to ask for leave of absence, and my unit was very busy, Fang Lei would take Qi Qi to their unit.

We all belong to the kind of people who are more optimistic, and we always feel that everything will be fine for the difficulties in front of us.

08

The real feeling of the change in our parents' attitude towards us should start from the Spring Festival in 2016.

Every time I came home, my mom would wait at the door early, and my dad would cook wood and chicken in the yard for us to eat.

But when I came home that year, I didn't see my mother at the door, and the annual native chicken was not seen.

When the family was eating, my father pulled my brother-in-law to sit next to him and told me to put the fish head on my brother-in-law when I served.

The first cup of wine at home was also offered to the brother-in-law: "Eldest son-in-law, this year has been hard, I wish you a prosperous business and a lot of money." ”

It turned out that the brother-in-law had set up a network in his hometown county, first doing demolition work, then forming an engineering team, and then turning into a contract foreman with a bit of a face in the county.

The poor boy of the past turned into a local tycoon, bought a big house, drove a Mercedes, and rebuilt his parents' old house into a two-story bungalow.

Seeing my sister and brother-in-law finally come out, our whole family was very happy.

Fang Lei, who was completely unable to drink at all, even had three cups of wine for his brother-in-law, and his face was as red as a pig's liver.

I silently shook my sister's hand: "Sister, congratulations." ”

My father saw me and said to me: "I already knew that I wouldn't let you go to any university or Guangzhou in the first place, and mix with your sister and brother-in-law is no better than in Guangzhou." ”

Fang Lei and I listened and laughed.

Sisters have sister destiny, we have our lives.

At the time of reunion, the joy and harmony is the most important.

09

But year after year, my parents' attitude towards my sister and brother-in-law and my attitude towards me and Fang Lei became more and more intense.

Gradually, the family was reunited in the New Year, and my father, as the head of the family, gave up the main seat to his brother-in-law.

That's all, when they hold a son-in-law, they must suppress the other son-in-law.

At the dinner table, if there is a lack of onions and a few garlic, parents will say especially naturally: "Small room, you go to get it." "Your brother-in-law has finished drinking, but you should hurry up and fill it up."

Moreover, since Fang Lei returned, his parents seemed to have issued endless orders.

One moment let him go buy rice and buy noodles, the next moment let him clean the window to make tea...

The brother-in-law occasionally wanted to reach out to help, but his parents went to the position to block: "You have worked hard for a year, and when you get home, you will have a good rest." ”

10

And that's not the most critical.

The most hurtful thing is that they look down on Fang Lei in and out of their words.

Every time he goes home, Fang Lei knows that my parents like to show off in front of their relatives, so no matter how frugal they are usually, he is particularly willing to buy gifts for my parents.

Every time we both came home, we wrapped up in big bags, like we were moving.

He said: "We are working so hard, is it not for the sake of the old and the young to be happy?" ”

However, since his brother-in-law developed, Fang Lei's carefully prepared intentions were weak in front of his parents.

Seeing the tobacco and alcohol, my father would take out the ones that his brother-in-law had given him and say to Fang Lei, "These things, your brother-in-law has been supplying all year round, and the cupboard is full." ”

My mom, too, looked at our carefully chosen clothes and then at the price tag: "I don't know what you're doing?" Take it back and return it, the clothes your sister bought for me are all brand-name brands, and I can't wear them until I die. ”

The mother is expensive, and the parents become inflated because of the development of the brother-in-law.

They don't think this is excessive, after all, in their small society, everyone is taking advantage of the heat and climbing high and stepping low.

And isn't that one of the reasons why I studied so hard and left that little place?

Fortunately, Fang Lei is an optimist who thinks of everything for the good.

Mom and Dad treated him like this, he felt that this was a matter of values for two generations, just laugh it off.

He even advised me in turn: "Stay with them for so many days a year, a family, why do you want so much?" Tired or not? ”

I don't know whether to say that he is naïve or lacks heart.

11

The most heartfelt thing is that in the Spring Festival of 2020, we still have large bags of gifts and arrive home before the epidemic is not so overwhelming.

As a result, my father's pocket at the door was a basin of cold water: "Whose family still lacks food and clothing now, you two look like this, what do the people in the town think?" Good villains also mix cars! ”

To tell the truth, in the past few days, first shopping in Guangzhou, then catching the high-speed train, pouring the bus, and carrying the child home, I have been exhausted.

Listening to my father's words, how cold my heart was, I was eager to turn my head and leave.

But Fang Lei, who has no heart, while laying out the gifts that we bought with our teeth, promised my parents: "The car has to be bought, and it is convenient to pick up and drop off." Just two days ago, my colleague had a 70% new Canton book to sell, and when I returned to Guangzhou, I ordered it. ”

My dad listened and threw a sentence: "Your sister and sister-in-law have a Mercedes-Benz, and then look at you, buying a second-hand car still has to make so much effort." Let you live this day, what a good thing! ”

Seriously, who wouldn't want to return home?

Sometimes I feel that Fang Lei and I have taken root in Guangzhou by our own strength, I am a pediatric nurse, I can't say that I can't save lives, but for those patients, I can also be called loving and responsible.

Speaking of Fang Lei, his dedication and technology are also well-known in the unit.

But just because we are not rich and wealthy, once we return to our hometown, we punch our parents in the face?

I suddenly realized that the real estrangement between me and my parents was not their warm and cold intimacy with me and Fang Lei, but the pain of values.

12

More bleak, still behind.

Seeing that we had returned, before we could take a sip of water, my parents began to assign tasks, the hygiene of the home needed to be thoroughly cleaned, and the yard also needed to be re-taken care of.

"Your sister and brother-in-law are both people who do big things, these jobs, you two help, wait for their family to come back to have a refreshing year." 」

The implication is that people like us who have not made a lot of money should make more efforts.

Honest Fang Lei didn't say a word, changed his clothes and went dry.

Watching him shovel and cut dead branches, push the trolley to take out the garbage, and sweat profusely, my heart ached and Ached.

Going home, for many wanderers floating outside, is to rest, to fill the fuel tank of the second year's struggle with the warmth of family affection.

However, for me, year after year, going home is already a mental delay.

Family affection is cold, and it really hurts people and hurts people.

13

In 2021, Fang Lei and I have experienced a lot.

Fang Lei's company laid off employees and cut salaries, and he was in the ranks of salary cuts.

In order to increase his income, he worked a part-time job under the introduction of a friend, eager to work 24 hours a day.

Seeing his hairline getting higher and higher, his white hair also increased a lot.

The mother-in-law had a gallbladder operation this year, and her recovery after the operation was not good, but she still had to go back to work in the factory.

In the end, it was Fang Lei and I who pleaded bitterly, and she returned to her hometown to recuperate.

Qi Qi finally went to kindergarten, we saved the cost of hiring a nanny, but just went to kindergarten, three days of trouble at both ends, but also because of pneumonia once admitted to the hospital...

Across the Chinese New Year's Eve, when Fang Lei raised a glass to our mother-in-law, his eyes were red: "In the new year, may my family be healthy, and I can sleep several times a month until I wake up naturally." ”

14

To be honest, every year, only this year, the most emotional step.

When people reach middle age, there is no easy word.

The moment I touched the cup with Fang Lei, I was actually grateful and happy in my heart: this man, no matter how many difficulties he encountered, was always so optimistic and kind that he could rely on.

As a medical worker, I am accustomed to life and death, and I feel that nothing is more beautiful and precious than living healthily and loving ordinaryly.

Such a good heart of the years was still shattered by a video call from my mother.

On New Year's Day, my mother patted the table full of mountain treasures and seafood and said to me: "If it weren't for your brother-in-law, my father and I would never know what an Australian lobster is in this life?" And this big crab, it's really rare. You hurry to greet your sister-in-law, me and your father, all borrow your sister-in-law's light... What do you eat? It's not that I said you and Fang Lei, and I didn't take the initiative to call us, don't call us, give your sister-in-law a New Year..."...

I don't remember how I hung up the phone later, but I know that my heart is full.

15

Looking at the hot-fluttering Fang Lei, he is preparing to buy New Year goods for both parents.

Just because the second-hand Hiromoto we bought was rejected by his parents, he even wanted to rent a car to go home.

I was suddenly heartbroken.

I told him, "I'm too tired not to go back this year, so I'll take a seven-day break at my own house." Take your parents over, and we'll study eating and drinking at home every day, and take a thorough break. ”

Fang Lei was stunned: "Is that good?" ”

"There's nothing bad about it, even if you go back and buy good things, they still feel shabby, and the car can't support the scene they want, forget it, don't go back as a negative teaching material." 」

Hearing this, Fang Lei patted me on the shoulder: "Wife, I'm sorry..."

This made my eyes red again.

I punched him: "You look at how many white hair you have grown this year, people who have done their best for life, there is nothing to be sorry for, I and Qi Qi have you, very content and happy." That's it, this year's Spring Festival, don't take a hot face to paste a cold ass, and don't hit a swollen face to fill the fat. Let's be at our own house, treat ourselves well, and have a good New Year. ”

16

Of course I can imagine how ugly my parents would be if we didn't go back.

But it doesn't matter anymore.

I don't want to spend a few vacations to face the double physical and mental overdraft.

Their own men hurt themselves, their own days, their own cold and warm self-knowledge is good.

When I think of this, my whole body is full of blood and resurrected!

Will I be cold-blooded by you?