Wen | Cheats Jun
When a person is obviously not doing a good job, we often laugh at him for being stupid.
For example, when you hear that a mother would rather spend 5,000 yuan a month to ask a nanny to bring a baby, and you also have to go to a class of 4,000 a month, you will think that this mother is stupid. This is obviously not cost-effective.
Not long ago, there was such a thing, and it was a little bit of fire.
◆ I paid 4,000 a month for a class, and spent 5,000 to hire a nanny, is it stupid?
A new mother found a job when her children were young and offered to go to work. The job paid her 4,000 a month, but in the local area, it costs 5,000 yuan a month to hire a nanny. Therefore, the family was very disagreeable, and the child was still young, and they reprimanded bao mom one after another, not understanding why she did this kind of "loss-making business".
I heard that her mother-in-law also deliberately proposed, otherwise she would be paid, let her not go to work, go home and take good care of the children, Bao Mom did not agree. Later she divorced her husband.
What exactly went through this is unknown, but when it comes to what this mother did, many people do not understand.
When the child is still young, it is said that he has just turned one year old, and it is reassuring to ask others to take care of which mother to take care of? Second, I earn 4,000 myself but have to pay the nanny 5,000 wages. Moreover, the in-laws have finally opened their mouths to give you a salary, why do you still not agree to take care of your own baby?
Because of these three points, many people have a lot of criticism of this mother.
◆ I understand this mother, because it is too easy to lose yourself with a baby
Even if I don't know the whole picture, as a former baby mother, I can understand the feelings of this mother who is desperate and wants to go to work.
It's really because it's too much effort to take around the clock.
Notice that I am talking about mental strength, not physical strength, or labor. It is only physical tiredness, while mental strength refers to mental impermeability and suffocation.
Women who have been full-time moms should understand this feeling. This kind of being with a small doll all day, their time and space are completely cut and occupied, and they can only revolve around the baby's eating, drinking, mood and sorrow all day long, how suffocating is this feeling of completely losing themselves.
What is self-loss? It means that your time does not belong to you, and what you do is not something you actively choose, but passively, mechanically, and even in many unexpected situations, to be adjusted according to the needs of another person, and it is adjusted anytime and anywhere.
No matter how much you love this person, no matter how much this person needs you, how innocent, but this feeling of losing yourself will always be there.
Why do mothers often brush their mobile phones after the baby is asleep, regardless of the late night and the glare, because this is the precious time of the day. Only in this time period can Bao Mom find herself and stay with herself for a while.
I thought that my daughter had grown up, and the life that surrounded her around the clock was long gone, but I didn't expect that because of the situation at home, I was in the same room with my baby for a long time, and I began to perceive this suffocating feeling of "losing myself".
Of course, usually the two of us go to work and go to school, and the time we spend together is only at night, so we have a whole day to live together, which is naturally worth cherishing.
But in addition to cherishing, I kind of want to escape. All day in the house, always facing such a small person, to deal with the picture books and toys she handed over from time to time, and the frequent "play with me for a while" request, I feel that I am a bit of a precursor to collapse.
Taking advantage of my husband's home on the weekend, I took the time to sneak out for half a day. Suddenly there was a long-lost sense of freedom.
At that moment, I seemed to have a spiritual connection with the mother who insisted on going to work. She insisted on going to work, maybe not for career development, not for earning financial independence, maybe just for the free time after work.