Zhou Guoping said: Among all the responsibilities in the world, the most fundamental responsibility is to truly become yourself and live out your unique personality and value.
Song Lian married Chen Zuoqian when the fourth aunt, is a freshman student who just dropped out of school, thoughtful and cultured, young and beautiful and energetic, Chen Zuoqian first met her in the Western restaurant, he was fascinated by the student temperament emitted by her, Song Lian's unique charm attracted Chen Laoye, so that his mood is unprecedented novelty and warmth, feel song Lian and several wives different.
But at the beginning of "A Flock of Wives and Concubines", Su Tong describes Song Lian like this:
In the autumn sun, the figure of Song Lian is thin and slender, exuding a dull atmosphere like a paper man. This was the scene when she was just carried into the Chen Mansion, obviously only 19 years old, but she could not see the vitality of youth and the vividness of life, but in an instant she became as lifeless as a paper man.
Song Lian always wants to find happiness in men, and ultimately tragedy
Song Lian originally had a good family, his father was in business, he was still in college, he had knowledge and culture, and had a good future, but unfortunately the tea factory run by his father went out of business, and his father was also unwilling to cut his wrist. When her father left, the most tragic thing was Song Lian, she lost her closest relatives, and she also lost her source of livelihood, not only did her stepmother no longer provide her with education, but even her livelihood had to rely on herself. But at this time, Song Lian was unusually calm, because she had already thought of a way out.
When her stepmother forced her to make a choice, either to work to support herself, or to marry someone else to support herself, Song Lian chose to marry someone, and to marry a rich man as an aunt, because then she would have no worries about food and clothing in the second half of her life, and she would not have to worry about her livelihood.
But although Song Lian is a college student, thoughtful and cultured, she still hopes to find a rich man to get a stable life in her bones, rather than creating the future by her own hands. According to this thinking, if she is still a college student, she may marry a young talent like Feipu. Now that she is in the middle of the family, she knows that she is not qualified to choose a husband, and she knows that fame does not work, or it is more practical to have money.
In fact, Song Lian's decision was relatively sober and wise. Although her father is in business, he is also a small family with a thin family, and once the business fails, he loses his life, destroys the family, and makes Song Lian become a helpless child, which also makes her see from it that only when she marries into a large family and has a rich family, she will not be knocked down by one or two business failures, in order to ensure her happy life in the second half of her life.
The relationship between men and women also follows the principle of reciprocity, Chen Zuoqian is obsessed with Song Lian's young and charming body, pure face and fresh vitality, and Song Lian wants to get a comfortable life brought by endless pampering, and the two are taking what they need.
But after all, Old Master Chen was nearly fifty years old, and he married the third aunt's wife, when he was not effective, Song Lian thought that he was insulted, refused to be wronged himself, did not expect to be scolded by Old Master Chen, became a bitch, and wanted to set up a chastity arch.
At this time, song lian's only advantage to please the old master and thus gain favor was lost, and she did not want to be like the second wife Zhuo Yun, and Old Master Chen's indifference to her was inevitable.
After Song Lian was left out in the cold, in addition to being in a daze, she smoked and drank. As Mei Shan said, there is only one breath between people and ghosts, Song Lian lives like a person, ghosts do not look like ghosts, Chen Zuoqian's last nostalgia for her is gone, she loses the exchange chip, then the bond connecting the intimate relationship between the two is broken.
Therefore, when Chen Zuoqian saw Song Lian drunk and crazy, he pushed Song Lian to the bed with disgust in his heart, looking at your crazy look, not afraid of making people laugh. Even if Song Lian took the initiative to beg him: Old Master accompanies me tonight, I have no one to hurt, Old Master hurts me. On the contrary, it made Chen Zuoqian even more disgusted, how dare I hurt you like this? It hurts you better than a dog.
In the relationship between men and women under the feudal system, women were present as dependent on men. When a woman pins her happiness on a man, she becomes a pet dog in the hands of a man, pleasing the owner, the owner spoils a pet, a pain, wants to play a temper to make sex, the owner can put it aside at any time, song lian's fate is like this.
Song Lian is assassinated by Zhuo Yun, who is a sister, and eventually becomes estranged
Chen Zuoqian's three aunts and wives are not from any big family, including Song Lian, and the rules and etiquette they received before they did not marry were not too much, but after marrying, they showed their differences.
The smartest and most capable person is the second wife Zhuo Yun, she is not a particularly beautiful person, but the face is somewhat beautiful, after giving birth to two children, it is already Xu Niang and half old, even Chen Zuoqian thinks she is loose and collapsed, but between her hands and feet, it shows everyone's demeanor, which makes Old Master Chen have a lot of face.
Moreover, Zhuo Yun's personality is gentle and considerate, not like the indifference of the eldest wife, nor like the self-assertion of the third wife, which makes Old Master Chen very useful, and also responds to a sentence he hangs on his lips, women cannot climb on men's heads, and men's vanity is greatly satisfied.
Zhuo Yun also knows her own identity, wants to live a stable life, to keep her duty, to be careful to serve and even please the old man, even after the old man "can't", she will still be happy to meet, which is also the most satisfying place for Chen Zuoqian, because in front of her, Chen Zuoqian feels that he is most like a man, so even if Zhuo Yun is no longer the same as he was then, he is still pampered for her.
This is what sociologists call the "halo effect," which refers to a person's positive characteristics that can dominate the eyes of others. And our liking for a person often begins with his physical attractiveness.
Song Lian saw Zhuo Yun for the first time, found that although she was not beautiful enough, but she was intellectually decent enough to make people warm, and soon liked her, and Zhuo Yun was still able to attract the eyes of the old man even if she was not young, which also made Song Lian envious, thinking that she was as amiable as her sister, and even took her as an example.
But what Song Lian did not expect was that Zhuo Yun, who was gentle and kind on the surface, was as vicious as a snake and scorpion in her bones, and she not only harmed Mei Shan, but also set up a set of face-to-face and back-to-face to Song Lian. On the surface, he spoke a confidant, and generously sent silk fabrics to win her over, but behind his back, he instructed Song Lian's close servant Yan Erzha to curse Song Lian and want to kill her.
His heart was vicious, so that the simple-minded Song Lian shuddered, and never saw the means of fighting for the wind and jealousy of the house women after the house, originally thought that marrying someone as a concubine, just a grievance point in name, did not expect Zhuo Yun's means to be able to reach such a point, she wanted to live a simple and happy life The illusion was broken by Zhuo Yun, it turned out that once she entered the house, the depth of the sea, the human heart is more poisonous than the snake and scorpion.
After seeing too many fights, Song Lian realized very clearly that Old Master Chen was the only thing she relied on for her happy life, but she couldn't do the same as Zhuo Yun who wronged herself in order to please and please the old man, nor would she play some vicious tricks to protect her own interests, because she thought she was different.
She couldn't do Zhuo Yun's smiling face all day, but it was precisely in this way that Zhuo Yun got the favor of Old Master Chen and lived in the back house, and these methods Song Lian knew in her heart, Zhuo Yun just understood the rules, and threw herself into the favor of the old man, she would not imitate, but went to the other side, then Song Lian's loss of favor was also inevitable.
Song Lian envied Mei Shan's dare to love and hate, unruly character, but Mei Shan's death destroyed her hope for life
After Song Lian and Zhuo Yun's relationship deteriorated, she got closer to the third wife, Mei Shan.
Mei Shan used to be a dramatist, born beautiful and charming, can sing and dance, when Song Lian heard her beautiful singing, saw her enchanting dance posture, they were all overwhelmed by it, she did not bow her head to please Old Master Chen, but also made the young Song Lian very envious, willing to be close to her, in fact, this is also what Song Lian wants to pursue in her bones.
Mei Shan not only has a skill, has the capital to let men hold in the palm of her hand, she also has a hobby, love to play mahjong. She shared a husband with several women, and most of the time without the company of the old man, she called on friends and gathered a table of mahjong. She also has a lover, when there is no old man's favor, she lives a life of taste, and the spiritual world is rich.
And Song Lian is different, when she married Old Master Chen, she gave herself her nineteenth birthday in advance, and her life entered another way of life, being a happy aunt and wife, with only the old man in her eyes, only the joy of the bed, and only thinking about the feeling of being held in the palm of her hand.
Originally just out of college, even as a pastime, she would rather be in a daze, smoke, and no longer turn over books, she put all her mind on men, and getting pampered was her only goal in life. Obviously, the spiritual world is desolate and empty, but in her heart she always thinks that she is an extraordinary person, and Feipu's sentence "You are different from them" will float her heart in the clouds, and she will not live her life to the real place.
So when Song Lian saw that Mei Shan was living such a wonderful life even if she was an aunt, Song Lian was not only envious, but also deliberately moved closer to her direction.
She wants to learn mei shan's independence and willfulness, but she is self-defeating, only to provoke the old master's disgust. Snubbed by the old man, wanting to learn Mei Shan to find a lover, get warmth from FeiPu, who knows that Feipu is afraid of being intimate with women, he quickly pushes her away, and the only hope in her life is also shattered.
At this time, Song Lian's heart was tormented, and when she wanted to live a personality, she offended the old man; when she lowered the shelf in her own way to please the old man, she could not do the law, and even more offended the old man.
epilogue
Although in that era, Song Lian married the rich man Chen Zuoqian as a concubine, which was the most beneficial choice for herself, but a woman's life is not to revolve around men, it is a surprise to have a man's pet, and it is the ability to spoil herself.
Even as a concubine, Mei Shan will sing and enjoy herself when she is idle, and will play mahjong to keep herself from falling into loneliness, and Song Lian, who has just come out of college, does not even turn the pages. Fei Pu asked someone to teach her to play the flute, but it did not arouse her much interest. Because Song Lian, who has become a rich concubine, in addition to being young is capital, there is no thickness in life, she does not read books to enrich herself, nor does she cultivate hobbies to pass the boring time, when her young body can not arouse the interest of men, there is no way to live.
In the end, Song Lian couldn't find a way to live, but she didn't find a third way, but she was confused in the mansion and couldn't find herself. Originally simple and kind, she also fell into the struggle for wind and jealousy, and let her hands be stained with blood, but she could not accept her own changes like Zhuo Yun, go with the flow, but fell into contradictions and struggled, and finally drove herself crazy.
This also reminds all women that they should not pin their hopes for happiness on men, but should strive to enrich themselves and live out their own value and unique charm, which is the foundation of women's world. Don't deliberately imitate other people's lifestyles, dong shi gong, the result can only be to steal chickens and not become erosion of rice, while others suffer, they are also affected, and they are not clear about the meaning of life.