Interpretation of emotional topics, taking you into more positive emotional worlds! I am your emotional relief, but you have to know how to let yourself go!
Text | The wind stops at night
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The marital relationship has experienced betrayal, can it still break the mirror and reunite? After experiencing betrayal, do you have to choose to end the relationship? Not necessarily, depending on the situation!
Some people who have experienced betrayal will deeply feel the pain that may follow their eternal life because they have suffered great harm, so they will directly say "will not break the mirror and reunite" for "betrayal"!
Most people who experience betrayal will feel:
The injured person is himself, and only he is entitled to the dominance of the marriage relationship that has experienced betrayal. In particular, simply turning around is to save the last dignity for yourself!
But it has to be admitted that those who have experienced betrayal and simply choose to end the marriage relationship are nothing more than the following two situations:
1: Because of personal economic independence and spiritual independence, there is no room for the betrayer to change his mind. After all, feelings can't withstand flaws, their independence is the most confident separation, without the betrayer, they can also live better!
2: Impulsive! Without the rational analysis of their own current situation, impulsively choose to end the marriage relationship. Finally, in all kinds of unwilling, reluctant or difficult days, they suffer from the double torture of survival and psychology.
When the spirit is not independent, you will always be accompanied by unwillingness and grievances, always self-deceiving yourself into thinking that you cannot let go of the betrayer, and even mix the love you once had with all kinds of hatred. No matter how long time has passed, it is difficult to escape the torture of being hurt.
If the economy is not independent, you will always think of your former stability when facing the hardships of survival, and now you do not have the ability to survive independently, and you will have self-doubt. Deeply feel that if you are good enough, you will not experience betrayal and will not face the difficult survival of the moment!
So I said: In the face of betrayal, it is really not necessary to follow the trend of learning and choose to end the marriage relationship.
All along, I've told people who experience betrayal that you can choose not to forgive the betrayer, but you definitely don't impulsively choose the end of the relationship just after experiencing betrayal.
Unless, you really do it without a betrayer, you can live well, and you are truly an economically independent and spiritually independent person! Otherwise, you simply can't truly be redeemed as you think!
After experiencing betrayal and unable to end the relationship, how to obtain self-redemption?
So, after experiencing betrayal, and for various reasons can not choose to end the marriage relationship, how to gradually heal themselves in this "sick" marriage relationship?
In fact, after experiencing betrayal, you only need to survive these psychological stages, and you will achieve self-redemption. Therefore, you must rationally and soberly insist on reading each one, and do positive understanding and absorption:
The first kind of psychology: self-doubt
There are many people who have experienced betrayal and will set up a tragic misunderstanding for themselves, that is: I am not good enough, I deserve to be betrayed!
In fact, the person who can betray you is never because you are not good enough, but because of the inferior character biased desire, which leads to the betrayal of the ta!
Although it is really possible that you may not be qualified in this relationship, these are not the reasons why the other half betrays you!
After you first understand that the root cause of his betrayal has nothing to do with whether you are good or bad, you will try to make the following self-adjustments, and it will be easy to get out:
When the relationship still has to continue, you first do self-awareness and scrutiny
Some people who experience betrayal may say: Didn't you just say that I was good or bad, is it not a reason to experience betrayal? Why do you want me to do self-awareness and scrutiny now?
Let me tell you why:
Only when a person truly recognizes himself and examines himself will he face the current problems more rationally! Thus, reduce your damage to the lowest point!
But, only if you don't develop excessive self-doubt! Let you know yourself, examine yourself, not ask you to doubt yourself!
Everyone needs to grow and mature with experience! In particular, people who have experienced betrayal need to be mentally mature, and only when you are truly mature can you really face the encounter calmly!
Moreover, for truly mature and rational people, spiritual independence is not so difficult!
When you become a spiritually independent person, you will no longer be entangled and valued by the betrayer's previous behavior, but will focus more on your own achievement!
When you are really strong, whether you want to or not in this marriage relationship in front of you, you have the initiative!
In the "sick" marriage relationship, correct yourself
It's not your fault that you've experienced betrayal, but you're certainly responsible! You are not too good to the betrayer or you ignore the betrayer, so he has a reason to do those things without guilt!
Therefore, correcting yourself is what you need to do more in the inseparable marriage relationship!
If you are a person who takes over-care and accommodation for your other half, please stop "forgetting yourself" to cater to each other! Learn to truly love yourself, take care of yourself, and feel sorry for yourself!
Only if you are willing to put yourself in an important position, others will be willing to look at you with the eyes of an important person!
If you are a person who cares little for your partner or ignores the feelings of the other party too strongly, then please learn to use the appropriate warmth from now on to pass it on to the betrayer!
In doing so, it's not about humility, it's about learning how to build healthy interactions in behavior. Although the betrayer has done harm to you, but your relationship is still continuing, you should stop letting yourself not understand heat transfer and make the relationship more stalemate!
Unless, of course, you want the relationship to end as soon as possible! Otherwise, you do not have the ability to end the marriage relationship, you must learn to use means, as far as possible to make the current relationship not too unbalanced!
Let you know yourself, let you accept yourself, understand your shortcomings, let you correct yourself, is to let you better learn how to be a better self! When you really grow, mature, and become spiritually independent, the marriage relationship in front of you, whether you go or stay, will not be so painful!
The second kind of psychology: resentment
After experiencing betrayal, no one will have no inner fluctuations, even if the person in front of them has already disappointed him to the extreme, he will definitely be angry to the point that the whole person will explode!
Even, that anger will want to vent everywhere, but some people can't vent for the sake of face, and can only endure the hatred of betrayal under the seemingly calm appearance, and endure torture day and night!
Some people say, don't you just experience betrayal, just leave, there is no need to hate, anger! This is probably a person who needs to be immortalized to say "no suffering from others" so he speaks lightly!
Being betrayed is the denial and humiliation of the betrayer, and the removal of self-esteem!
However, such emotions, although understood, are not supported for a long time! Because, if the emotion lasts for a long time, it will become a negative psychology that seriously affects life.
When a person is deeply affected by negative psychology, his heart will be shrouded by the dark side at all times, and nothing that can see the light can grow and survive normally, right?
The person who made the mistake is not you, it is the betrayer! Whether you love or not, in short, during the duration of your marital relationship, you have experienced betrayal, and you are the victim!
Obviously, the injury is already very tragic, why should we use the hatred caused by the betrayer to let ourselves carry the negative psychology for a long time and make ourselves embarrassed?
Those who are hated do not suffer, and those who hate people suffer!
If, for various reasons, you have to continue the current relationship, you must learn to limit all your anger to the emotional level, you can find a suitable object or place to vent, what to do after venting!
Don't turn emotions into psychology, or you'll be "sick"! By then, no one can cure you! Even yourself will be more and more self-consuming, and you will not have the strength to face the sun anymore!
The third kind of psychology: fear of loneliness
People who have experienced betrayal can easily feel lonely from the heart to the outside world, even if there are people around, they are also empty in their hearts!
Loneliness is hidden deep in the heart, even if you are in the hustle and bustle, you also feel the same six gods and no master! Eat badly, sleep badly, don't even want to be disturbed, self-enclosed!
Yes, betrayed by the people closest to you, what kind of indescribable pain should it be?
The more lonely I feel in my heart, the more I don't want to talk, and the more I don't want to talk, the more I feel that what I say is wrong! Horizontal and vertical is sad, lost, uneasy, do not know what to do, do not know how to live like a person with a soul!
It seems that after being betrayed, you are a shell, no heart, no thought, and the whole world is dark! Light, taken away by the betrayer...
The more this happens, the more you have to know how to distract yourself! Maybe, on the first day, you still can't be distracted, but if you stick to it for ten days, a month, or two months, you will know that in fact, you have gradually stopped crying, being lonely, and uneasy! Even if there is such a perception, it is not as strong as before!
When you have experienced betrayal, do not close yourself off, learn to build your own circle, do not seek confidants who are friendly with each other, but use the circle to dilute the pain of your betrayal experience.
When you are willing to look directly at your own sadness and insist on keeping yourself busy, your pain will definitely be reduced. The premise is that you are willing to let yourself go!
No matter what you have experienced, as long as you are willing to do self-redemption, then you will definitely be able to achieve self-redemption! And betrayal is just one of the unfortunate things in life!
When a person who has experienced betrayal cannot end his marriage and love relationship with the betrayer for various reasons and has to stay by the betrayer's side, he must learn to endure the above three psychological torments, and he will win after surviving!
However, every kind of psychology needs people who have experienced betrayal, starting from subjective consciousness, to redeem themselves! Otherwise, your life can only get worse and worse!
After experiencing betrayal, pain, or hatred, don't let it go down. If you are getting better and better, the betrayer will feel that he should not hurt such a good person, otherwise the betrayer will think that you are the way you are, and betraying you is deserved!
Live yourself well, for the happiness of the rest of your life, but also in order to let the betrayer one day recall his bad deeds, and want to turn back but feel timid and have to humble to you! How proud were you then?
When you are strong enough that the betrayer is no longer worthy of you, will you still feel sorry for him?
—End—
Love is man's purgatory in the world. Love or friendship, the right time meets the right person to cultivate the right results!
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