In recent days, my circle of friends:
Don't be these days, they've been in a bad mood lately.
I thought that accompanying the child to review is to check the defects and fill in the gaps, and only after reviewing did I know that it was Nuwa who made up the day, and only then did I find that it was Jingwei reclamation.
In the end, I found that Pangu had opened a new world! ”
At the end of each term, old mothers with students in their families become extra sensitive and collapse.
Although the Ministry of Education has documents: final exams, schools are not allowed to publish test results and are not allowed to rank.
But the old mother will still secretly look forward to a good harvest for her children at the end of the year.
The key to the problem is that the old mother's mood is not received by her own baby.
Several girlfriends around me wailed: "Seeing that the end of the term is over, normal people's thinking is not to seize the last time and review it well." But this baby in my family is not in a hurry at all, and hangs her child every day. I hate to tickle my palms. ”
As a result, the new "Roaring Emperor" and "After the Roaring" were hot, the parent-child war was opened again, and the heart-saving pills and antihypertensive tablets became the must-haves for the old mother.
In order to motivate children to review well and get good grades, old mothers can be said to be doing everything, carrots and sticks in turn.
Here, I would like to warmly remind all parents that carrots and sticks can be used, but there are three sentences that cannot be said, otherwise, the pot that the child cannot test well will have to be memorized by you.
1
"This exam must be done well"
There is a "Wallenda effect" in psychology.
Wallenda in the United States is a famous tightrope walker, he is good at walking tens of meters high aerial cables without any protection.
Over the years, he has won every battle, but in a major performance, unfortunately, he died.
Afterwards, his wife said: "I know that this time there must be an accident, because before he came on the court, he always kept saying that this time is too important to fail."
Valenda was too focused on success or failure, and instead failed.
In the exam, if we always emphasize the test results, it will make the child particularly concerned about his own results, and it is easy to be nervous and make mistakes.
We all know that often the more you care, the more nervous you are, and the worse you can't take the test.
Parents overemphasize their children: "We must do well in the test", which will only create unnecessary panic for children.
2
"It doesn't matter if you don't take the test"
The girlfriend's daughter belongs to a particularly competitive child, and the pressure she gives herself is very large, before the exam, she can't eat, can't sleep, her small face is sallow, and the corners of her mouth are bubbles.
The girlfriend is distressed, these days, has been comforting her: "It doesn't matter if the test is not good, the grades are not important, don't have too much pressure." It is understandable that parents are distressed about their children's feelings, but the children are solid eyes, he really let down his vigilance, not good review, then is not bad?
Psychological research has shown that moderate stress and anxiety can motivate people to think positively and solve problems. For children, moderate tension is good, it can fully awaken the child's potential psychological energy, let him play a higher level. That's why there are a lot of people whose exams can play the secret of extraordinary play!
Correspondingly, if the child is too lax, it is easy to make some common sense mistakes. The girlfriend said that when the child was in the first grade, she made this mistake because she herself felt that the grade was not so important, so that the child did not take the test seriously in the end. In the midterm exam, there were several "blind mistakes". "2 + 3 = 4", the baby can be wrong, but she never dreamed of it.
3
"Okay, take you to Disney"
When urging children to learn, many mothers do not hesitate to pay blood, wise and wise to come up with the "carrot incentive method"!
But these carrots are used too much, and they cannot stimulate the endogenous motivation of children's learning at all, but let children find the meaning of learning. Now he can study hard in order to go to Disney, and finish Disney? When there is no temptation to impress him, is it possible not to study! If the child becomes impetuous as a result, and learns by gold and silver matter, it will not be worth the loss.
And, worse, what if the test is broken? Originally people did not want to go to Disney, do not feel how much loss, you give people a bait for no reason, and did not eat, this troublesome, all of a sudden it seems to have lost a hundred million, this pot, but also have to take the exam to back! So, ah, the reward can be, but it is best to give the child a surprise after really taking the test!
One thing parents can do is to guide their children to face the test instead of focusing on the results
What is the purpose of the exam? I think this is a very important topic for every child after they are formally exposed to the exam. CC Grandma is a primary school teacher, and I have listened to too many examples of students who were nervous before the exam, and as a result, they played abnormally, and finally lost their hands with good schools.
So after the child goes to school, we must teach him to face the exam,
Once this child begins to be "afraid" of the exam, he will not play well.
We have all heard of "the lifeblood of the students", in fact, there is the second half of the sentence - the sentence "the magic weapon of the examination teacher". After CC went to elementary school, the first few times, it was also nervous before the exam.
I guided her to look at the exam objectively, why is the exam a magic weapon? Because it is a good helper to check and fill in the gaps.
Only by passing the exam can you test your learning results.
After it is checked out, in the future study, we will spend less effort, and if we will not, we will spend more effort.
After it helps us distinguish it, it is more convenient to concentrate on overcoming the unskilled parts!
In this way, we can learn not to catch blindness and use good steel on the blade.
In the end, it is you who improves the efficiency of learning!
In this way, the exam is no longer an enemy, but a helper!
Her anxiety about facing the exam was naturally greatly alleviated.
The child will also understand that the test is not for that report card! The exam of life, not to mention the semester, I believe that as long as the child puts the attitude towards the exam /assessment, he will be able to cope with it in the future.
What parents can do two: correct their children's learning mentality and let him confidently cope with challenges
I have seen such news before: on the college entrance examination, some test takers are nervous to pee their pants. In the middle school examination room, some candidates were so stressed that they fainted. Of course, this is all an individual case, a special case.
However, when encountering important exams, because of the unstable mentality and abnormal play, the questions that usually do will not be done, or many simple questions can make mistakes. This situation is still very common in the student life, and almost everyone has encountered it.
It is said that mentality determines success or failure, children usually study seriously, no matter how good, the mentality is not good during the exam, it is difficult to get good results. As a result, parents are not happy, and the child will have a deep sense of frustration, so he is more and more resistant to the exam, then it will be a big trouble.
The more children need our support, the more parents cannot be impatient. One look in our eyes, one sigh, the child can keenly capture. Our emotional instability can directly affect our child's mood. It is better that parents treat it with a normal heart, it is best to work part-time as a family psychologist, and give the baby some spiritual spa before the exam.
We can say the following three more words to our children:
The first sentence: "As long as you work hard, you are the best"
Tell your child the importance of hard work, whether successful or not, as long as you work hard, your child is the best.
The second sentence: "More important than the score is your attitude of progress"
Guide children to compare with themselves, today compared with yesterday, every day there is progress, children will be more confident to deal with unknown challenges.
The third sentence: "Although learning is hard, it is the most convenient way"
Learning is never an easy and happy thing, there will always be all kinds of problems, and every step needs to be persevered. Tell your child that although this road is bitter, it is the light of your eyes on the world, and it will illuminate your future path. Only by not being afraid of challenges can we become stronger and stronger.
So, ah, the final exam is coming, really want to help the child something?
Then talk less and make a good meal!
Let him eat well and drink well, let him feel that it is no different from usual, but can maintain a good attitude.