Author: Ma Xiaocong
Source: Huaizuo classmate (hztongxue)
01
At my age, in addition to engaging in a career, the most talked about topic left is feelings.
Careers are different, and what I focus on is not necessarily what you like.
And partial feelings, mostly the same;
The day before yesterday, there was a girl in the next ward, a few years older than me, who accidentally overturned the pot while eating hot pot at home, and burned her stomach, which was quite large.
She came alone, in a different place, and did not want to worry her parents in her hometown, so she did not tell them.
In the evening she came to our ward to borrow bandages, and she didn't have enough of her own, and wanted to borrow a roll from us, which she would return tomorrow when her colleague bought it for her.
As soon as I borrowed one and returned it, I often moved around.
To pass the time, she often came to our room to sit down.
I, her, and a seventy-year-old aunt (whose mannerisms are too much for me to call Grandma) would sit together and talk at dinner.
Unfortunate or happy days are often very similar.
02
People who thought I liked liked me also liked me
Strangers, the contact of the circle is not the same, talk about their own interest in others do not necessarily like to listen, but no matter which age, will experience the feeling of this thing, aside from this topic, as long as it is a woman, will have a little interest.
The girl has been talking about herself, when she was young, she was busy studying, busy making money after graduation, and last year she suddenly realized about getting married and starting a family, but found that the boys around her who were slightly better were occupied by others.
She is 29 years old, 30 years old at the end of the year, and finally met a boy she liked on national day this year.
The girl took the initiative to chat with her, and as long as she was idle during the day, she would send him a message, and the other party would also reply, but wait until the evening.
She reassured herself that the other person was busy and understandable.
Girls ask each other to dinner, and boys always delay because of certain things, again and again.
She told herself that it was okay, and it wasn't too late to eat together when he took care of his own affairs.
The two have been in contact for almost half a month.
In the middle, the other party took the initiative to call the girl once, and the girl was excited for several days.
I think that the boy began to like her, liked himself, and then insisted on insisting, the two people will have results.
Everyone who is deeply involved in the emotional vortex is mostly a brain supplementer.
Obviously, there was nothing, but in her mind there was an earth-shattering scene of "mountains without edges, heaven and earth together".
When you face reality on the day, many times it is really a punch in the face.
I asked the girl: And then what?
She pursed her lips and said: "No then."
Later, they had no story.
All she thinks is that she thinks that there are too many illusions in life, and the people who are in it will always deceive themselves unconsciously.
There are three major illusions in life:
I thought I couldn't be reduced to an ordinary person; I thought that there was a lot of time and my parents wouldn't grow old; I thought that the people I liked also happened to like me.
In love, in addition to "he also likes me", people also have the following two common illusions.
03
Wait, love will come
I had a similar illusion before: don't worry, if you bloom, the butterflies come, and so on, you will meet the right person.
Many people may feel like I wasn't good enough, just like before, and wait, and when they're good enough, the right person will automatically appear.
Thought perfectly, but the reality is harsh.
In the process of waiting, don't say whether you have become excellent, at least those around you who like or like you have been taken away by others.
What's more, the older you get, the more sober men and women become, and when you are twenty-seven or eight years old, don't expect a person to pursue you with a dead heart.
There is no perfect love in the world, where there is a pie in the sky, it still hits you, the probability is really too small, too small and too small.
If there is someone you like, you still have to take the initiative.
Once missed, it is likely to become someone else's so-and-so in the blink of an eye.
I confess that I used to be a very passive person.
In the face of good things do not dare to say, want to do not fight for things, even like the people, are embarrassed to look at others with a straight face.
At that time, I felt that for a girl, the initiative was very humiliating, lowered her posture, flattered everyone, and was particularly afraid of other people's eyes, pointing at me behind my back and saying:
"You see, it's her, who's in pursuit of who's in your class."
I don't think people who like initiative are similar to my idea:
Afraid of other people's jokes, afraid of becoming an outlier, afraid of not being able to do it, others have not done it, then I also count it.
But as I grew older, I slowly gained a new understanding of the word "active."
Your own life is up to you, and the choice is in your own hands, not for others to see.
The people I like, the things I want to do, the things I want to get, it's not that you're at home waiting, it's about asking you to do something to give and work.
Life is short, some things, wait is not waiting, you want to get, you have to fight.
04
Without him, I can't live anymore
No one in the relationship can do without anyone, but everyone will have the illusion that I feel that I can't live without the other person.
Why do you think so?
The answer is simple: over-reliance on each other, not being independent, and being easily humble in relationships.
I was recently revisiting the TV series "The First Half of My Life", and the reason I watched this show was because in the hotel where I recently stayed, only this show could be watched for free.
Luo Zijun, played by Ma Yili, is a full-time wife, and the responsibility of eating, drinking, wearing and children depends on the man to support.
When Chen Junsheng and Luo Zijun divorced, her mother Xue Zhenzhu said the most:
"You two can't divorce, you can't live without him!"
Luo Zijun also said of their relationship:
"It was you who said you didn't want me to go out and work, so after a year of work after graduating from college, I quit my job and didn't do it." Started to help you take care of the family, take care of the children, I gave so much for this family, and now you tell me that all this is not what you want. ”
Luo Zijun relied too much on Chen Junsheng, so that once there was an accident, it was inevitable that he would be helpless.
There is no eternity in marriage, change is the tone.
If you want to be emotionally stable, you still have to maintain your own ability.
We think that stillness is unchanging, and in fact change is the true face of stillness.
Ask more of ourselves, we will be more confident, less demanding of others, we will reduce disappointment, always believe in love, but do not indulge.
Too many things are true, always less friendly, stay kind, sober up a bit, enough.
END
"South Wind"
Episode XII Capricorn
——New Listing ——