Text/Tang Ruo
Tang Ruoxin learns original works, and those who violate them will be investigated
In life, you may need to understand that boundaries are the foundation of a person's self-establishment, without the formation of boundaries, we are easily disturbed by others, more likely to be affected by others, so as to make a mess of our lives.
If we want to make our hearts strong, remember that the most important thing is to guard our boundaries, which is the root of our growth and the foundation of our maturity.
So how do we guard our own boundaries, remember three points, you may understand that the protection of boundaries, in essence, is also a process of self-establishment.
Focus on yourself and experience flow
If we want to have boundaries of ourselves, we must learn to experience what it feels like to be there, especially to experience flow.
When you have the process of self-concentration within you, then the sense of boundaries that we bring about in the process of growing up in life will make us feel that we are in control of ourselves.
What is emphasized in psychology is that the sense of boundaries is an important basis for our growth, and it is also an important significance and value for us to experience our own existence.
Some people feel the existence of self in reading from childhood, some people are writing, some people are in basketball, and some people are singing, when we have this experience of flow within, it is often the beginning of self-discovery, we are aware of the integration of ourselves and the environment, and we appreciate the integration of self and things.
The ability to focus is an important foundation for the formation of our sense of boundaries, which means that we enjoy the feelings and sensations we feel and feel about ourselves and what we do, and this feeling brings us to the formation of a strong self.
And if we want to develop the habit of self-concentration, we can also learn to talk to ourselves and pull ourselves back appropriately when we are distracted, which is an important ability for us to form boundaries.
The formation of boundaries also tells us to choose to be responsible for your own present moment, in that moment, respect your inner feelings, the more you can respect the current feelings, the more you can live in the moment, so that you will not be easily disturbed by others.
Be responsible for your own life and do your own role management
If we want to have a sense of boundaries, the second boundary mindset we need to develop is to learn to be responsible for our own lives, not for other people's lives.
In fact, the more you are willing to take responsibility for your own life, the more you will have a sense of boundaries and even understand what is most important.
In the process of growing up in life, we have many roles, and many people may not be clear about their roles, which will lead to self-growth being hindered or troubled.
For example, in the relationship, we all know that the relationship between husband and wife is greater than the parent-child relationship and the parent-child relationship, which means that we must do the correct role management. When you understand the order of this homing, you will not be confused, and in the relationship, you will also handle things with ease.
Huang Lei has always put his relationship with his wife in the first place, and the relationship between his children and his parents is put in the second place, which is the root of their couple's happiness for many years and the main reason for their happiness. In fact, the more your role management is in the right position, the smoother your life will be.
In fact, many contradictions and roots in life originate from crossing the line, which is essentially the root of self-trouble, and we manage things that we should not manage, so that life will fall into entanglement and contradictions.
Learning to do a good job in border management, in essence, is also to do a good job in the management of self-role, know how to be truly responsible for their own lives, rather than responsible for the lives of others, which is the second mental method of our boundary management.
Let go of control and allow yourself to be different from others
Many times, the reason why we have unclear boundaries is essentially our inner desire to control, and the stronger a person's desire to control, the more he does not allow others to be different from himself.
For example, when the child does not write the homework well, the mother begins to insult the child, thinking that the child is particularly stupid, in fact, the child does not meet our inner expectations, we completely deny the child, which is the importance of us crossing the boundary or not understanding the boundary.
If we understand that the child's homework is the child's own, the child has his own growth rate, and accepts your child's current appearance, our hearts will let go of the feeling of wanting to control, so as to achieve self-freedom and calmness.
Letting go of control and allowing ourselves to be different from others is fundamental to avoiding many contradictions. When the husband does not do things well, when the children and themselves have different opinions, our internal inadmissibility is an important place for us to have contradictions and conflicts.
Allowing others to be different from yourself is to respect yourself and respect others. Everyone is unique, and if we judge ourselves and others from our own perspective, it is often a blockage to our hearts, and it is the root cause of our narrow life.
The essence of life is a gradual process of opening, and this process of opening up is also to enhance our inner sense of tolerance, which can help us expand the richness of the world. This world is never a single way, when you see the rich, you will not stick to your own small world, but know how to allow others to be different from yourself, do not use the restrictive beliefs of your own mind to bind others at the moment, and do not let yourself cross the line to manipulate others, we can obtain the ultimate freedom and freedom of life.
The real boundary is to know how to be the best of ourselves, for others we are more important to do nothing and support is enough, which is the key to our thriving and continuous progress in life.
Today's topic: Do you think that the sense of boundaries is an important sign of a person's maturity, do you have a sense of boundaries, welcome to discuss and communicate.