First, learn to understand that growth is more important than homecoming
The love of teenagers is always a mountain and sea oath, and every move is to love you for ten thousand years; holding the hand of the son, and the son with the old age; in middle age, you know that life is fickle, nothing is something you can control, so there is fear. However, if we understand and accept that the essence of life is change, that is, flow, no longer clinging to results and destinations; but being able to focus on the process, we can enjoy "love" itself.
The process of life is more about experience, whether it is career or love, it is to promote our growth. The ultimate destination of life is to go to the depths of your own heart, understand yourself, let yourself be self-consistent, and find peace and joy. Any relationship experience, whether good or bad, as long as you can grow from it, explore yourself more, and make yourself better in the future, it is worth it; and this process, which you can complete alone, does not depend on the other party.
Second, respect the differences between the other party and yourself, and seek common ground while reserving differences
In love, there is always a strong motivation, that is, to change each other; we desire to be more consistent with each other, to cooperate more tacitly; there is also a subtle psychology that we will equate the degree of each other's willingness to change with the degree to which the other person loves us, as a test criterion, so the tireless confrontation between two people occurs.
But when people reach middle age, they have to recognize a reality: we can't change anyone, that is simply impossible. We can't even change ourselves, we can't even control the children we have, let alone another person who is very different from our growth experience. If we want a harmonious relationship, we need to learn to seek common ground while reserving differences, respect the differences between the other party and ourselves, and enjoy the part of your tacit understanding.
Third, get rid of the shadow of self-protection and be brave to love
Newborn calves are not afraid of tigers, and the more they experience, they will shrink their hands and feet; this is like a driver, when they first learn to drive, they are full of excitement and novelty, but if they have two accidents, they will become more cautious when driving. The world of feelings is the same, the first love is the unrestrained enthusiasm of love, digging out the lungs, paying with all my heart; I have suffered more injuries, and I always dare not start easily in the face of feelings, even if I start, I do not dare to devote myself to it wholeheartedly.
But if you face feelings, you are a state of being bitten by a snake and afraid of the well rope for ten years; you cannot enjoy the happiness of love. We learn from love in order to better manage future relationships; excessive self-protection will make you lose touch with love. Don't refuse each other's care, and don't be afraid to give, good love will give you the most beautiful nourishment.