"Da Xiu said, sister, don't be confused, the rabbits in the mountain forest and the rabbits in the Toad Palace are all rabbits, but they are a round difference, twelve years, that is to say, the fourth master of the Ye family is not six years older than you, but eighteen years older!" --- "Champion Media"
Ye Guangling's short story collection "The Book of Bean Juice" describes the story of the manchu qing widows and the descendants of the eight flags, in which "Zhuangyuan Media" describes the entire process of the protagonist's parents being mediated by Liu Chunlin, the "last Yuanyuan of the Manchu Qing".
Liu deliberately concealed the age of the "father" and the specific situation in the family when saying the media, only saying that he was six years older than the "mother", the wife in the family had passed away, the 4 children had grown up, and the youngest had also graduated from high school, but on the day of the new marriage, he found that the "father" was a middle-aged man in his forties who had been removed, and there was even a concubine in the family, and the children were nearly ten in size!
The "mother" listened to the "father" tell the truth on the night of the candle in the cave, cried earth-shatteringly on the spot, and her hands and feet were cold and almost fainted, but this "deception" was irreparable, and the "mother" finally became the "father's" filling.
Ye Guangling is worthy of being a master of writing stories, her stories are vivid and interesting, the fate of small people always touches people's hearts, and every cry and smile makes people feel both real and helpless.
Arranged marriages were still very common in China in the last century, and many of the literati and inkers we are familiar with have experienced the pain of arranged marriages at home, and this backward old concept caused many marriage tragedies at that time.
Xu Zhimo's original wife, Zhang Youyi, is a typical victim of arranged marriage, and Xu Zhimo does not love this original wife at all, thinking that the combination with her is like a small foot and a suit, which is not a good match. Later, in order to pursue Lin Huiyin, he even divorced Zhang Youyi, who had just given birth, and ruthlessly abandoned this woman.
The marriage between Mr. Lu Xun and his original wife, Juan An, was also arranged by his parents, and what was even more excessive was that Lu Xun's mother even hired Zhu An's family without her son's consent, and also tricked Lu Xun from Japan back to China to marry, and her various behaviors led to Juan staying alone in an empty house all her life and being lonely for half her life.
The words of the matchmaker, the fate of the parents
Because Lu Xun was the eldest son in the family, since his father's death, his mother began to worry about his marriage.
Lu Xun's ancestral home is shaoxing, his grandfather is a famous local scholar, and then he was imprisoned for taking bribes in the examination room, and his father died of illness, so the family suddenly became financially difficult.
Born in Shaoxing to a merchant family, Zhu An received a traditional Chinese education from an early age, wrapped his feet, was good at female red, cooking, temperament and obedience but illiterate, and his appearance was not particularly prominent.
Such a woman is far from the other half of Mr. Lu Xun's ideal. However, Lu Xun's mother was very fond of Zhu An, believing that she was gentle and frugal and a suitable daughter-in-law candidate, so she rushed to the Zhu family without Lu Xun's consent to "ask Geng", in today's words, to "get engaged" to the two children.
As a result, Lu Xun and Juan, without knowing each other at all, made this marriage that made Juan miserable for a lifetime.
In 1899, the two were officially engaged, and Juan was two or three years older than Lu Xun, which was indeed a very good match according to the customs of the time. By the end of 1901, Lu Xun was about to graduate from the Mining Road Academy, which was a good time for the two to become relatives, but Lu Xun was given the opportunity to study abroad at public expense, and in March 1902, he took a ship to Japan.
The marriage that the Zhu family was looking forward to could only be postponed, but they comforted themselves that their uncle's identity was different after he returned from staying in Yang, which was also a good thing for Juan.
However, Lu Xun has been staying in Japan to study, and only returned to China once in the middle, that is, he returned home to visit his family in 1903, at that time he had cut off his braids and was still wearing a suit, which was very different from the local folklore, everyone knew that the young master of the Zhou family was a new figure, and the Zhu family was more and more worried about this marriage, afraid of Lu Xun's resignation.
Lu Xun conveyed through his mother a request to the woman: let go of the little foot, and then go to the academy to study.
These two requirements of the Zhu family have not done, do not want to do, they are a traditional old-fashioned family, adhering to the old concept of "all the daughters of good people are small feet", they will never let their daughters let go of small feet.
In addition, the old society believed that women at home from their fathers and brothers, going out from home to their husbands, and there was no reason to enter the school, which also cut off the possibility of this marriage leading to happiness.
In 1906, Lu Xun, who was concentrating on literary creation in Japan, received letters from his parents urging him to go home, and the last letter said that his mother was seriously ill and asked him to go home quickly. However, when he rushed home, his mother sat at home with good manners, looking around at the newly renovated, and it turned out that the letter was written to trick him into going home and marrying.
This marriage was finally completed in the form of deception, and what people did not expect was that Lu Xun did not make any acts of resistance during the entire wedding process, but was at the mercy of his family, in the end it was the process of completing the wedding.
What was even more unexpected, however, was that night he rolled up the quilt and slept in the study, and three days later he packed up and returned to Japan.
It was not until 1909 that Lu Xun returned to his hometown from Japan again, during which Juan stayed alone in the empty house, allowing tears to flow over and over again, in this marriage, not only Lu Xun was innocent, Juan was also a victim, she could not understand why her husband treated herself like this, but she did not resent the "good family affair" arranged for her by her family, but blamed herself, thinking that she must have done something wrong, which caused her husband to snub.
This poor woman, who had been poisoned by feudal etiquette, had tied herself to the Zhou family, and there was no other way but to lament every day.
Meet again, still like strangers
In 1919, Lu Xun's family sold their ancestral property in the countryside, and the family came to Beijing to live in an old-fashioned three-entry courtyard. The outer courtyard is Mr. Lu Xun's residence, the middle courtyard is inhabited by Zhu An and Zhou Mu, and the inner courtyard is where Lu Xun's younger brothers live.
Lu Xun and Juan had little communication, and Lu Xun had told his friends many times: She is my mother's wife, not my wife. It was a gift from my mother, and I could only provide for it well, and love was something I didn't know.
Such words are inevitably too hurtful, but Lu Xun seems to have an iron heart to distance himself from Juan, and he also wants to divorce, but from Juan's point of view, if she returns to her mother's house as a "divorced wife", her life will be miserable, and the status of the woman who was hughed at that time was very low, and the mother's family would be ashamed.
In 1923, Lu Xun set up his own portal, he asked Juan whether he wanted to move with him or return to his mother's house, Juan firmly said: I want to move with Mr. Da.
Soon after, Zhou's mother also moved out of the original house and lived with Lu Xun and Zhou An. After that, the family's finances were entrusted to Juan, and even then Lu Xun and Juan did not add many topics, and the daily communication was limited to a few words.
Although Juan loved her husband and respected him with all her heart, she knew nothing about his career, and perhaps did not think of understanding the ideas of men, she stayed alone in the world of women in the old days, and the most important thing to do all day was to talk with her mother-in-law and serve the elderly.
However, even such days of pure calm were shattered.
In 1927, Lu Xun taught at Sun Yat-sen University, xu Guangping served as a teaching assistant, the two began to live together, and in October of the same year moved to a house in Shanghai to officially begin living together. In 1929, the two gave birth to their son Zhou Haiying.
This incident once dealt a heavy blow to Juan, she had been waiting for the day when her position in Lu Xun's mind became important, but the truth was so cruel.
I am also a relic of Lu Xun
Zhu An was lonely all her life, and Zhou's mother once told her before she died that she wanted her to use her child to connect with Lu Xun. Juan replied, "The old lady thinks I don't have a son, and Mr. Big doesn't talk to me all year round, so how can I have a son?" ”
Juan's spiritual life was poor, and by Lu Xun's death, she had even become impoverished. Zhu An and Zhou's mother's living expenses were initially borne by Xu Guangping, and Xu Guangping could no longer bear her living expenses in the most difficult two years, and was transferred to her brother Zhou Zuoren, but Zhou Zuoren said bluntly: I am bitter, I am bitter!
He was reluctant to bear the living expenses of his mother and sister-in-law, and Juan was also reluctant to accept the money from Zhou Zuoren, she knew that Lu Xun had a bad relationship with his brother and was unwilling to accept his money, and the money given by Zhou Zuoren was difficult to maintain the basic living expenses, and she still had a very difficult life.
Later, zhou's mother died, and Juan was reluctant to accept Zhou Zuoren's money anymore, so in 1944, she followed Zhou Zuoren's advice and published news in the newspaper to sell Lu Xun's collection of books before his death. Zhou Zuoren asked the Beijing Library to list the books in its collection, and prepared to entrust others to sell them on their behalf.
When Xu Guangping heard this news, he immediately wrote to Juan, hoping that Juan would be able to preserve his husband's relics, saying that he had not forgotten Juan's situation, and sent a letter to Zhou Zuoren, hoping that he could continue to help Juan, and he would definitely think of raising money to pay it back in the future.
However, at the same time, she commissioned a lawyer to issue a statement in the newspaper, saying that all relics after Lu Xun's death should be properly kept by all the family members for commemoration by the Chinese people.
Juan was very uneasy, she wrote in a reply letter to Lu Xun's friend: I am also 66 years old this year, but I have a life but I want cloth to warm vegetables and food, and I dare not have other extravagant hopes... I still know that reputation and credit are very precious, and the oppression of life day by day is more serious than credit and reputation... Every word is sincere, and it only makes people lament the desolate situation of the old woman.
When they learned that Mr. Lu Xun's collection of books was about to be sold, the progressive people in Shanghai's cultural circles were all anxious, and they sent representatives to see Juan, and when Juan heard about it, she immediately darkened her face, and she finally said to the people who came: "You always say that Lu Xun's relics must be preserved and preserved!" I am also a relic of Lu Xun, and you must also save and preserve me! ”
At the end, she was excited, and the poverty of her long life and the antipathy to the pressure from all sides made the old woman finally unable to hold on, and the bitterness in her heart surged out like an unstoppable flood, and she finally spoke her heart for half her lonely life, and the people could not refute it.
Then everyone told her about Xu Guangping's arrest by the gendarmes, and Zhou Haiying's illness, and this kind woman immediately changed her attitude, she asked about the situation of Haiying with concern, and said, Mr. Big is this piece of meat, why don't you bring Haiying to Beiping!
In the end, the sale of books was not done, and after that, Xu Guangping struggled to maintain Juan's life at a very difficult time in his life, and finally saved Lu Xun's relics.
In 1947, Zhu An died, she hoped to bury herself next to Lu Xun, for ordinary couples, this wish is normal, but for Zhu An, it is a fantasy, not only Xu Guangping, other relatives will not agree, and finally she was buried in the Baofu Temple cemetery outside Xizhimen in Beijing, and even buried with her mother-in-law.
brief summary:
Juan's life ended like this, and apart from that public sale of books, people could hardly leave any impression of her. She is like a shadow, perched next to the old feudal tradition of Zhou Mu.
As a wife, she did her best, in her and Lu Xun's marital life in name only, it was she who took care of the old lady of the Zhou family alone until her death, alleviating the pressure of the three brothers of the Zhou family to support the old lady, and although Lu Xun was also a filial piety, he had achieved nothing in actually filial piety to his mother's life, not to mention his younger brother Zhou Zuoren, when Lu Xun was alive, Zhou Zuoren only provided his mother with 50 yuan of pocket money per month, most of which was supplied by Lu Xun.
Zhu An was the victim of the feudal ritual system, the most unfortunate one in this marriage, she did not marry Lu Xun, but married to the feudal etiquette, married to the old concept of marriage, because even if she did not get Lu Xun's blue eyes in her life, she still said, "I was born a member of the Zhou family, and I died a ghost of the Zhou family..." She never resented Lu Xun, and she was single-mindedly loving and respecting him, which was the root of her life's misfortune!
To eradicate the tragedy of loveless marriage, it is necessary to break down old ethical concepts and institutions of marriage.
In modern society, the matter of arranged marriages by parents is rare, young people can freely love and marry, but in some places there are still remnants of feudal etiquette, many young people are forced to marry the object chosen by their parents, young people should have the courage to say no in the face of such arranged marriages, and try to convince their parents, otherwise it will lead to more tragedies.