Are you still worried about chatting online and seeing the light die offline? Are you still afraid to meet when you are too big to squint, and be embarrassed to cut out two rooms and a living room? Today's article is an immediate, very effective dating dry goods. Especially suitable for old irons who can't chat and don't know how to adjust the atmosphere. Chestnut will teach you three tricks to avoid embarrassment, so that the first time a girl sees you, she will think it is you!
Express personal feelings
What does that mean? It is to have ideas not to be bored in your heart, and to speak out boldly. People's emotions are contagious, if you are willing to express your thoughts, appear calm and generous. Then even if the girl is embarrassed at first, she will be affected by you later and will soon relax. However, if you really think of anything and say whatever, then a romantic date may directly become a disaster scene.
Express personal feelings, follow two principles: 1. Mobilize emotions. 2. Start chatting. For example, when you see a girl, you can say, "Wow, you're more temperamental than in a photo." Or, "I heard that the place we are going to today is especially suitable for seeing maple leaves, and I am still looking forward to it." ”
If you are really nervous, you can also talk to the girl about today's itinerary. The point is to mention the location and transportation mode, which can also extend a lot of topics, such as "It takes about fifteen minutes to get here, I think it's okay, do you get motion sickness?" "As long as you can calmly express your feelings and say your thoughts, the tension of both people will be alleviated." And it also leads girls to participate in expression, making it easier to build emotional links. Come and go, don't feelings heat up?
Prepare small gifts
Meeting for the first time and giving a girl a small gift can not only reflect the importance you attach to her, but also provide you with ice-breaking topics. If you can just do what you like, then from the beginning, you can successfully arouse the excitement of the girls' chat, then do you still have to worry about the cold field of the date behind?
For example, a chestnut, a girl is a literary young woman, when chatting with you online, I often mention my favorite books and authors. Then you can send the same type of book or peripheral to her. I believe that she will be very surprised to see it, and actively talk to you about the content of the book, then you will take her words and talk about your views on the book.
You know, when people talk about what they like, there is no end to the words. Embarrassing or something, haven't they all turned into floating clouds? Of course, the small gifts sent should not be too expensive, and the most important thing is to be able to appetize the girl and stimulate her desire to express.
Cut in from the environment
Sometimes, you may have prepared a lot of topics in advance, but when you meet, you stutter and can't remember a single one. Eh, don't worry at this time, although you can't think of the prepared topic in your mind, you can learn to use the environment of two people, pay more attention to the things around you, and start from what you know and feel around you. As long as you are good at observation and analysis, you don't have to worry about finding a topic.
For example, if you walk side by side on the street and see the brother who distributes leaflets, you can talk about the part-time job you did when you were a student; when you see your grandfather and grandmother supporting each other, you can talk about your views on marriage; even when you see a kitten and puppy on the side of the road, you can also talk about pets and related stories that you have kept before. As long as you learn this trick, you can naturally and casually switch topics without embarrassment.
However, when using this, remember to pay attention to judging the girl's emotions and avoid straying into the girl's minefield. Take a chestnut, see a family of three eating, you want to talk to the girl about the relationship with her parents. Don't open the topic directly, you can first openly ask the girl: "Where do you usually go to eat with your parents?" "If the girl is not very resistant to this topic, you continue to talk."
Some boys may want to say, "What if I don't know how to find a topic?" "Simple, put a lot of thought into the choice of a place to date. Choosing a good place to date can resolve 80% of the embarrassment. If you are afraid of being stupid and not digging into topics from everyday scenes, then when you first meet, try to choose a location with a rich scene. For example, a restaurant with a show or a resident singer, or a place with a better view.
In such an environment, you can naturally find the topic, and you are not afraid of the embarrassment caused by the sudden disconnection of communication. And girls' vision and hearing can have different feelings, and because of the pleasure brought by this environment, they will have the illusion that getting along with you provides her with emotional value.
Write in the last words
In fact, the first meeting will be more or less awkward, unless you are a lover. But meeting for the first time also means that the two of you have successfully moved into the next phase, a new beginning. So, don't be afraid, be brave, do your best, and know the outcome by action.
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Author | Yellow chestnut Ye
Consultant of the First Psychological Writing Group | Senior Emotional Mentor | Best-selling columnist on the internet