01
Success guru Carnegie once said, "If we want to make friends, we have to do something for someone else first—something that takes time and physical dedication to do." ”
Rely on parents at home, rely on friends when going out. But where can you find true friends? No one told you.
In real life, there are many opportunities for people to use each other, and there are few opportunities for honesty with each other. What's even more chilling is that friends who once had nothing to say will have nothing to say when you are down.
Man, once poor, he knows if he has any friends.
How to do a good job in interpersonal relationships? Remember those two words: integrity.
02
Words and deeds are consistent, and they can communicate with each other.
During the Warring States period, there was a scholar named Tian Biao who often told others that he was used to being indifferent to fame and fortune, and the high-ranking official Houlu did not care.
There was a Qi man who came to Tian Biao and said that Mr. Tian often talked loudly and that he was willing to follow.
Tian Biao was surprised and said that he was not that kind of person.
Qi Guoren said that his neighbor's family, who had a daughter, had always said that she did not want to marry, but when she was thirty years old, she had seven sons. He always said that he did not like to be an official, but he had a hundred retinues under him, and he had a more leisurely life than a high-ranking official.
A scholar whose words and deeds are inconsistent is exposed by an ordinary person. Since then, Tian Biao has changed his past mistakes and become his true self.
In the Analects, it is written: "I began with men and listened to his words and believed in his deeds; now I am also in man, listening to his words and observing his deeds." ”
To judge whether a person is reliable, not to listen to him, but also to observe his behavior, whether it is consistent with what has been said.
Those who talk about it are mostly hypocrites; those who like flattery are hypocritical people; those who speak openly are unguarded; casual promises are deceptions.
People interact with each other, on the one hand, with language communication, on the other hand, with actions to verify, both are indispensable.
Reality tells us that hearing is false, and seeing is also false. Only the effect of doing things is real.
If you don't know if a person is worth associating with, just observe his words and deeds, see the effect of his help to others, and understand; if you associate with people, don't talk casually, think about it, and make sure that what you have said is true or can be done 100% in the future.
03
Treat all people equally and serve the public.
Since ancient times, gentlemen have broken the law and committed the same crime as the common people.
People who are high up in the sky regard themselves as ordinary people, and use the system they have formulated to restrain themselves, which has played the role of "taking the lead in setting an example".
In the Chronicle of the Three Kingdoms, it is recorded that when Cao Cao led his army through a wheat field, he was worried that someone would seize or destroy the wheat, so he ordered that those who destroyed the wheat must be executed.
All the sergeants dismounted and walked, and held the horses firmly in their tracks, not letting them approach the wheat.
Suddenly, Cao Cao's horse jumped up and rushed into the wheat field.
Cao Cao asked his men what should be done?
It was believed that some systems were not suitable for use by honorable people.
Cao Cao was furious and cut off his hair and threw it on the ground as a punishment.
Throughout the ages, kings who have been able to consciously take the lead in following the rules have done a great job.
For example, Wu Qi, a military warrior of the Warring States, had his wife dismissed if he could not make clothes according to his regulations; the chancellor under Duke Wen of Jin was punished most severely for not being punctual, and from then on there was no one in the Jin state who did not act according to the rules.
Integrity is not privileged. If the people around you can do this, it's worth associating. He will not look up to you, nor will he demean you, but will fairly "exchange courtesy" with you.
When you insist on "treating everyone equally", people who are lower than you dare to make positive suggestions and will not flatter; people who are higher than you cannot underestimate you and will seek your opinions in everything.
04
Let the benefit of others, can last.
Many people think that integrity is a "half a pound to eight two" thing, but it is not.
People can not interact with each other completely reciprocally, but do not consider how much gains and losses.
It doesn't matter if you give more to others and give less to others, you have to understand the difficulties of others.
Let's say your friend is so depressed that he doesn't even have money to eat. If you give him a hundred dollars, you don't need him to return it. If he wants to start a business, you should lend him money and act as a mentor.
Yi Zhongtian said: "From the perspective of economics, integrity is to give up small interests in the immediate future and seek greater benefits in the future. ”
A calculating person has no friends, and in the unit, colleagues will hate him.
Sociable people, remember more about other people's kindness, less about other people's hatred. Let the honest things be appropriately biased in favor of each other, so that the relationship can be long-lasting.
In addition, if a friend occasionally commits an act of dishonesty, analyze the reasons and tolerate him. After all, everyone has a bad memory, and it is also possible to encounter force majeure.
05
Conclusion.
Mozi said: "The honest one, the knot of the world." ”
A person who speaks of integrity, the people of the world, can make friends.
People are mixed in society, how to open up the situation of life? It is to establish a brand of integrity, so that everyone can rest assured of you.
As a grassroots employee, do your own work well, promise your boss things, and go all out. To be a person who reassures the boss, it is inevitable to be promoted and raised in the future.
As a high-level boss, the commitment to employees should be taken to heart, and there must be no idea of "the official level crushes people to death". If you bully your employees, you shake the foundation of your unit.
As an entrepreneur, you must be responsible for all customers. Efforts should be made to improve product quality, and we must also take the initiative to bear the fault brought about by product utilization. Any sophistry can bring temporary benefits, but it can make you lose long-term benefits.
As a relative and friend, separate feelings from money, career, etc., do not be confused, ambiguous in words and deeds, and constantly have economic disputes.
As the saying goes: The of a thousand miles is destroyed by ants. ”
Stressing honesty should not only pay attention to the rough branches and leaves, but also implement it into the details of life and work.
In interpersonal communication, who is more reliable, who has more network resources.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.