My name is Nguyen Ngoc Anh and I am 15 years old. My mother worked as a maid in a large family surnamed Zhang in Shanghai.
And my story also begins with this Zhang family giant.
I was born in 1910, in an era when democracy was about to enter, and the hierarchical concept of three, six, and nine grades remained in people's hearts like long braids.
My mom used to tell me that you shouldn't say you were the maid's daughter at school. This way I will live a little happier.
One day in 1925, in the small garden of the Zhang family. The sun was particularly good that day, and the people who were blown by the summer breeze were loose and lazy. I sat on the grass in the garden, basking in the sun.
"Who are you?" A voice came from behind. I turned my head to look.
The man who spoke was wearing a white shirt, white trousers, tall words, and a pair of gold-rimmed glasses, his skin white, feeling glowing in the sun.
I hurriedly stood up and said, "I am Aunt Li's daughter, Ruan Yuying."
"Oh, you are Aunt Li's daughter, my name is Zhang Daming." Are you basking in the sun here? The man said still smiling
"Well," I nodded in response
He looked up at the sun and said, "It's really comfortable, can I bask in the sun with you?"
Yes. He looked at me, the servant child, but his eyes were unusually clear and peaceful..... charming.
We sat on the lawn that day and talked for a long time, and later I learned that he was the fourth young master of this mansion. While I was surprised by his identity, I also had a deeper affection for his affinity
Later, he often came to me, gave me a lot of things that I liked very much, and even ran to the school to pick me up. Slowly, slowly, we came together.
I was 15 and he was 18.
He often became a lawmaker to get me all kinds of fun and beautiful things, and also took me out to play.
Once he took me to a film company that his father and his second uncle had opened, and his second uncle saw that I had a good temperament, so he asked me to try a play as well. Slowly I started to make cameo appearances, and gradually I began to like acting.
Finally, in 1926, I applied for the Star Pictures Company, officially became an actor, and changed my name to Ruan Lingyu.
Then my acting career officially began.
In just a few short years, I've shot a dozen films. He became a popular movie star on the beach and was loved by everyone.
But you can think of this popular movie star, just a maid's daughter.
God is fair, He has given me the prosperity of my career, while also quietly depriving me of other things.
Zhang Damin, the man who entered my heart when I was 15 years old, slowly revealed his true nature. After the death of his parents, he had no financial income, but he did not want to work, and he still maintained his own food, drink and entertainment on my income.
This man, who used to have light in his eyes, now has only desire and the ferocity of not being able to get money.
I don't recognize this man anymore.......
In 1932, the January 28 Incident broke out, my film company suffered a heavy blow, in order to escape the war, I left Shanghai and went to Hong Kong. And in Hong Kong I met the second man of my life: Tang Jishan.
I first met him at a cocktail party. At that time, it was only a meeting of Pingshui. But later, he began to contact me frequently, knowing that I was fleeing to Hong Kong, and from time to time he would ask for warmth, send me various necessities, and so on.
In such an unfamiliar place, such a man's concern is something that no woman can resist. Especially compared with Zhang Damin, he is simply a perfect person.
Back in Shanghai, I chose to leave Zhang Damin and live with him in Building 9, Qinyuan Estate, Xinzha Road, Shanghai, which Tang Jishan bought for me.
Tang Jishan is more than ten years older than me, and perhaps it is the maturity and stability brought about by my old age that makes me feel very solid in my heart. By his side, I felt like a woman, a woman who was protected.
But what I didn't expect was that the nightmare was quietly conceived under this steadfastness.
The nightmare began with Zhang Damin. It could be because of my self-esteem, or it could be because my cash cow is gone. He began to pestering me like a scoundrel and demanding money from me. After not getting the money, he began to go to court to accuse me and Tang Jishan, slander me, and tell the tabloid reporters about my past and all my privacy.
And Tang Jishan naturally could not stand this insult, and a paper bundle of reputation framed Zhang Damin to court. He also asked me to publish in the newspaper that we were financially independent between us together, in order to preserve my man's dignity.
These two men I love most deeply started for their own selfishness, their own reputation, their own desires. Pushed me to the forefront, and then showed everything I had, little by little, in front of the public.
But what almost broke me the most was that when I was in pain and helplessness, Tang Jishan had a close relationship with my friend Liang Saizhen.
At this moment, the depression and grief in my heart can no longer be described in words. I could only focus my attention on making movies.
And when I was shooting my new film, The New Woman. I met Cai Chusheng, the director of this drama.
This man. He would soothe my emotions after the film, and would sit next to me when I was depressed and miserable, and gently enlighten me.
Zhang Damin, who has encountered scoundrels, and Tang Jishan, who is disloyal. I seemed to see a life-saving straw and wanted to grab him, but he was married and did not choose to continue to be with me.
The straw just disappeared.
When "New Woman" was released, the magazine tabloids took the opportunity to take out all my past again, constantly whipping, constantly lashing, constantly laughing, and I stood naked in front of people.
But at the moment, I don't feel shame or anger, I just feel tired.
In the evening, I dressed myself up beautifully, then went out on the street to buy a bowl of my favorite eight treasure porridge, put the sleeping pills I had prepared in it, and ate it.
Lying on the bed, I closed my eyes and remembered the scene when my mother thought that I had a phoenix name soil and wanted to change my name; I remembered the summer, the lawn, the man in white clothes and white pants, and the gentleness of Sven; I thought of the mature and steady, gentlemanly and introverted man, and I thought of the man who was considerate and accompanied.
Nguyen Ling Ngoc died on March 8, 1935, at the age of 25.