01
I don't know if there are divorced women around you, if there is, maybe you can intuitively find that there is a "commonality" in them.
You will find that these divorced women often do not live with their parents after divorce, and if they have a brother or brother in their mother's family, they will not return to their mother's house. We often say "the daughter who marries out, spills out the water", this sentence also implies a phenomenon, most of the daughters who marry out are guests back to their mother's home, and the only daughter is better to say that if there are brothers in the family, most of them cannot live permanently.
In fact, to put it bluntly, you will find it really difficult for women, especially divorced women who can only rely on themselves.
I thought that my mother's family was my own backer, but reality tells you that my mother's family is not your backer, and my mother's family is afraid that you will become a drag on them. Divorced women are very difficult, after divorce is mostly rented to live, even if the mother's family has a place, usually do not dare to return.
I would like to give women a piece of advice: in the affection or do not be too selfless good, sometimes you feel that it is a family, a family does not speak two words, can help, but the problem is that when you encounter something, you know what is hypocrisy. When you're good, they treat you well, but only to get something out of you; when you're down, they want to throw you out.
Don't think I'm cruel, that's the way it is.
This woman divorced mostly on her own, and there are a few families who can count on her own.
I wrote about a divorced woman in this article, she said: "I only now understand what it means to be a married daughter who spills water, I used to be too good to my mother's family, and now I have ended up in such a field, they are all hiding." 」 It is chilling, but the affection is just like this, and the woman still has to rely on herself. ”
02
Meng Yu divorced in 2016, she has to take two children alone, life is very difficult. After the ex-husband cheated on the child, she didn't care about the child at all, but Meng Yu couldn't ignore it, after all, she was the child's mother, the complete family was gone, as the child's mother, she had to fulfill her responsibilities.
Divorced from her ex-husband and did not share any property, the only one property to be divided, the ex-husband said that he sold the house and two people divided the money. During that time, Meng Yu took two children to rent a house outside, and her ex-husband Zhang Luo talked about selling the house, and two months later, the house was also sold, but the ex-husband took the money from the sale of the house to pay off the debt, and Meng Yu did not fall at all.
Meng Yu was so angry that he took his two children to find her ex-husband, and the ex-husband said: "I don't use the money from the sale of the house to pay off the debt, is it difficult for you to pay off the debt for me?" Those debts are generated in our marriage, and even if I borrow them, they are related to you. Isn't it reasonable to sell your house to pay off your debts? You want money, I have thirty thousand yuan here, if you want to take it, don't have a penny. ”
Meng Yu really had no way, so he could only take the thirty thousand pieces.
Thirty thousand yuan is used to pay rent, which can indeed support a period of time, but Meng Yu's life is still quite tight, after all, she wants to take two children alone, and it is not easy to raise two children. Meng Yu had no way to tell his brother, hoping that his brother could help him, but his brother said to her: "I am also difficult, you know, I am not easy in Beijing." ”
As soon as Meng Yu heard his brother say this, his heart went cold.
Think of the beginning of 98, her brother needed to buy a house in Beijing, Meng Yu was giving him all his savings at that time, the money to buy a house was not enough, Meng Yu borrowed from his friends, a total of 110,000 were given to his brother. Later, these 110,000 brothers did not pay back much, that is, they remembered to give Meng Yu a few thousand, this year still thousands, next year still a few thousand.
And as far as Meng Yu knows, her brother is actually quite rich now, he bought a house in Beijing in 1998, and later he made money in business, and bought houses in many cities, such as Shanghai, Hangzhou, Xi'an, and Xiamen. After the Beijing restriction, he had four cars in his family that were changed. He also bought a house in Hainan, such a rich brother, but when Meng Yu had difficulties, he said that he had no money.
How could Meng Yu not be angry? I helped you when you needed help, but you were cold-blooded and ruthless when I needed help.
There is also the house where Meng Yu's parents live now, in fact, Meng Yu helped to buy it, even the previous daily expenses were meng Yu in the out, and the decoration of the house is still Meng Yu's money. However, when Meng Yu asked her parents for help, her mother only said one word to her: "The daughter who married out spilled the water, you have already married out." ”
Meng Yu scolded her mother: "Since you know the water that your daughter who married out spilled out, then why did you reach out to me for money in the first place?" ”
What did her mother say to her? I raised you so big, what's wrong with spending you some money.
Oh, is it a little?
The ex-husband has a sentence that is quite right: "Don't look at you so close to your mother's family, if you really fall, they will run faster than anyone." Don't believe it. I always advise you not to spend money so selflessly to your mother's family, but you just don't trust me. ”
The reason why Meng Yu's marriage with her ex-husband broke down was also the relationship between her mother's family, because Meng Yu was very good to her mother's family and subsidized everywhere, which made her ex-husband very unaccustomed. In fact, Meng Yu and they had a good life at the beginning, but the ex-husband's business was not smooth, and most of the money was lost, which did not even sell the house.
Meng Yu's divorce, on the one hand, is because of her ex-husband's cheating, on the other hand, because the grudge between her ex-husband and her ex-husband is deep and cannot be reconciled. Originally, I thought that my mother's family was my backer, but after the divorce, Meng Yu witnessed the cold-blooded ruthlessness of her family. She has always been selfless in family affection, and now affection has also given her a lesson: women are still a little more kind to themselves, even if it is your mother's family, you are very good to them, they may not treat you like this.
03
The daughter who marries out will still help her mother's family after marriage, but to be honest, once you encounter an accident, your parents can still help you less. You have to go on your own after all.
In the TV series "Know It or Not", many women will be touched by the British public rescue of women. But what I want to tell you is that in real life, only only one child can have such preferential treatment, but all the daughters of brothers, divorced, do not dare to return to their mother's home, they are no longer tired and dare not return to their mother's house, they are sensible daughters, and they are afraid of making their mothers embarrassed. They also know that after this woman is married, even if she is divorced, this mother's family will not be able to live permanently.
It's not that I'm talking nonsense, but a lot of divorced women really have to rely on themselves, they have the same experience, after the divorce they have a house, they can only rent a house with their children, and some even dare not tell their parents about their divorce, for fear of being blamed by them. When the mother's family encounters difficulties, she will think of finding her daughter, but when her daughter encounters difficulties, how many can really help her?
Many women will feel that the mother's family is an eternal safe haven and a way out, but reality tells you that you can only make yourself strong, and the mother's family is not something you can rely on.
Meng Yu said: "For me, there is no difference between relatives in the world, only selfishness and non-selfishness, because I could say that I had responded to their needs before, and then my sudden defeat made them unacceptable." I wish they could help me, but no, even the parents who gave birth to me and raised me refused to let me out, very cold, I will only be good to my two children in the future. ”
True relatives are not determined by blood relations, but by the heart that awaits you.
Hopefully, more people will understand this, is affection selfless? Maybe you should be selfish.
Today's topic: After the divorce, is the mother's family your backer? Welcome to leave a message.
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★ Author: YIBAO; emotional original author, writing about the warm emotional affairs of this world.