Ten years of marriage, each lonely, why can't Zhang He give Guo Keyu a happy and happy marriage?
1
In 2008, Zhang He and Guo Keyu co-starred in a movie: "The Perfect Bride", the two people met.
At the end of the movie, the two people who played the couple in the play continued to interpret the fate of the two people outside the play.
The person who moved his heart first was Zhang He.
At a meeting after the movie, drinking Long Island iced tea, there was a person who chatted without a word, but Zhang He suddenly had enthusiasm in his heart, he felt that the gentle woman in front of him was the person he could be his wife in his mind, so he went straight in.
This is Zhang He, a rigid, brave, impulsive, somewhat rough and macho man.
At that time, Guo Keyu was in a confused period of life, thirty-two years old, she had been living alone for a long time, especially wanted to get married, and then have a child.
Because she wants to have a place where she can release love without hesitation.
The man in front of her, tall, handsome, and responsible, met her needs, so she chose to accept the flash marriage, and emotionally rather than rationally entered the marriage.
Flash marriage means that in a short period of time, two people only see each other's beauty, but ignore the missing behind them.
Zhang He did not understand that behind Guo Keyu's gentleness, there was stubbornness; behind literature and art, there was rebellion.
Guo Keyu also did not realize that there was a lack of romance behind Zhang He's rigidity, and the simple and direct back meant that there was no elegance and delicacy.
After the flash marriage, the two people soon had a marriage, not a crystallization of love, a child.
Before marriage, there was no qingqing and me, and after marriage, there was no effort to consolidate feelings, and the arrival of children made them have to quickly begin to face the boring real life of firewood, rice, oil and salt, and their lives became boiled water.
The two people have been together for ten years in plain and plain, but they are independent and lonely, and they have become the strangers who are most familiar with each other.
Although there is a bond of children, the two people have tried to save it, but the husband and wife are always like tenants.
The ordinary life day after day has worn away the enthusiasm and yearning of two people for love.
Marriages without love will gradually drift apart and eventually fall apart.
Breaking up is an inevitable and helpless choice.
2
For the end of the marriage, Zhang He was obviously confused.
He said in an interview that the main purpose of participating in the show is to know, how does Guo Keyu view him as a person? Looking at their marriage? Have you ever regretted your choice? He also wanted to know, what are Guo Keyu's criteria for remarriage?
Obviously, Zhang He was very disappointed, and some of them were hit, because in his bones, he felt that he was excellent and qualified for the status of husband.
He didn't understand why Guo Keyu would choose to leave him.
Compared with him, Guo Keyu was obviously more calm. She feels that this special program will be a journey in her life, so that the feelings in her heart have a platform for output, which is a warm and meaningful thing.
The feeling is that Guo Keyu has given up on this relationship, and Zhang He is still entangled and unwilling.
In the documentary, Guo Keyu recalled the warm companionship of Zhang He during her pregnancy and childbirth, which made many viewers criticize her for not knowing what to do and not knowing how to cherish.
However, I found that all the good memories of Guo Keyu stayed in the early stages of marriage, and after the long years of marriage, there seemed to be nothing to mention.
Why?
In the documentary, I found the answer, ten years, the two people actually did not travel together, did not have any romantic memories, did not have a wedding anniversary.
In the show Love Card Game, there is a question about the baby crying in the middle of the night, who goes to coax, three answers, A dad, B mom, C division of labor cooperation
Zhang He rightly chose the B answer.
That's telling.
I don't deny that Zhang He is a responsible good man, but marriage is not something that can be solved with only two words of responsibility.
In the program, Zhang He's evaluation of Guo Keyu is: gentle, virtuous wife and mother.
Guo Keyu deserves this evaluation.
In the early stages of marriage, Guo Keyu worked hard, she gave up everything in the past and returned to the family.
Zhang He was busy filming and could not go home for the festival, so she took her child to visit the class.
She pasted couplets, pasted window flowers, cleaned up the cluttered room, tried to create a home atmosphere, and helped Zhang he wash his stinky socks for an afternoon.
Unexpectedly, Zhang He didn't feel her intentions at all, not only did he not even say thank you, but he also thought that she was helping him and making him unable to find anything.
She remembered him coming home from filming, counting the time and preparing dinner with her aunt, but ZhangHe thought that she wouldn't do anything, it was all made by her aunt.
She wanted to communicate her feelings with Zhang He, but Zhang He always ignored it and did not respond.
He doesn't come home at night, goes out drinking and playing with his buddies, but complains that she doesn't go out with him and doesn't like his friends.
He was very narcissistic and always praised himself, such a good ex-husband, where to go.
There is no reflection, no self-examination, and in his words, he always reveals the taste of a big man, thinking that Guo Keyu should submit to him.
He is a gentleman on the outside, but in his bones he is an absolute machismo, and he wants Guo Keyu to obey his control and should not have his own axis.
He didn't bother to think about it at all, what did Guo Keyu need? Just be a good wife and mother?
3
When Guo Keyu recalls the past years of marriage, he is very grateful to Zhang He, who can let her hide at home every day, live a carefree life, and read favorite books and favorite discs every day.
I believe this is her true words.
But she also said sadly: "My world, he can't come in, his world, I don't want to go." ”
Yes, how can a girl who once won the Hundred Flowers Award and was the lead singer of a rock band always be willing to live a dull and cookie-cutter day?
She is a woman with a rich heart, delicate emotions, and a good heart, who loves acting and music!
On the show, she recalled that she was deeply hit by low film remuneration.
Obviously, she could not accept her once brilliant self, and she had no place in the workplace.
A person who is proud at heart cannot accept the life of being raised and holding his hands upwards
But Zhang He did not understand her needs.
He said at a friend party that Teacher Guo is an artist, and he wants to use the money he exchanged for being a drama to make Teacher Guo an artist.
He did not expect that the artist Teacher Guo's heart was yearning for the world of red dust.
Guo Keyu is gentle and euphemistic on the outside, warm in literature and art, but sensitive, stubborn and insecure on the inside.
She wants to have a thoughtful, delicate lover who can understand her voice,
Zhang He is not a qualified candidate, as she sings in the song "I want your kiss, comfort the loneliness in my heart, you say I am too troublesome." ”
The romance of "kissing, hugging, and holding high" that she wanted, the thick lines of Zhanghe could not give her.
She repeatedly denies her feelings on the show, is it because she is afraid of being hurt again?
In the ending of "Goodbye Lover", Zhanghe quickly made a choice and got out of the car to wait.
Guo Keyu, on the other hand, repeatedly considered it until all the sand leaked out and the car started to drive for a period of time, she made the choice to get out of the car.
Some netizens said that she is too able to pretend, Zhang He such a good man, where to find?
But I deeply understood her hesitation and fear.
A marriage, to the point of separation, must have too much unbearable and painful.
In the show, Guo Keyu did not complain, always showing beauty, because she knew that there was a camera around her, she was kind, and did not want to show the ugliness of the past in front of people.
More than ten days of travel, she saw the other side of the unknown Zhanghe, she was a little moved, but she also knew that there was also the side of Zhanghe that she knew, the side that caused a rift between her and him.
So, in the show, when she was asked by her elders if she wanted to turn back, she firmly gave a negative answer.
She repeatedly said in the show that there was no love between her and Zhang He. But she carefully inquired about Zhang He, but she had the slightest thought of remarrying.
She was deceiving herself, and at her level of thought, how could she possibly raise a child for someone without feelings?
She simply took it this way and defended her pride.
I don't know how much she has been hurt by her previous emotional experience, making her so insecure about love and afraid to speak of love.
4
In the last episode of the show, Zhang He's performance confused me.
The last interview was conducted after two people chose to get off the bus and showed off their affection.
In the interview, Guo Keyu kept looking at Zhang He and speaking the words in his heart. She hopes that Zhang He will cherish herself, and the second half of their lives will be loved every day, and then go hand in hand.
Zhang He, on the other hand, looked away and did not respond, only saying that he chose to get off the bus and just wanted to send blessings. He hoped that the two of them would get along well in the future, and then each of them would be happier and happier.
What's he doing?
He chose to get out of the car, not because he wanted to try to love again, but to show his magnanimity and responsibility?
The extravaganza shows that Zhang He and Guo Keyu did not choose to reunite in the end.
I am glad that the ending is like this, because Zhang He is not Guo Keyu's good man, he can't give the understanding and love that Lan Xinhui's Guo Keyu needs, he is one level behind.
Guo Keyu deserves a better life.
A life of freedom, safe release of yourself, and no need to care about the face of men.
She had spent ten years on a marriage, and it was time to start over and resurrect herself.
I wish her happiness and well-being for the rest of her life.