I have a friend next to me, 30 years old, unmarried.
At the constant urging of her family, she is anxious and currently has two options.
One is the second generation of the rich, the man's family has 3 houses in the provincial city, there is a villa in the suburbs, the family has a company, the man is one year younger than her, he also works in his father's company, the monthly salary is 20,000, and he likes her after the blind date, but she has no feelings for men.
Another divorce, her first love, there is a child who follows the woman, turns back to her, says that she still can't forget her, has a car of more than a hundred thousand, no house, and she is like chewing wax for her first love.
In the end, neither of them was very satisfied, but her parents urged her to marry the rich second generation, and said that there was no shop in this village, and it would be difficult to meet better conditions than this in the future.
In fact, this friend has good ability, doing technology in a company, earning about 10,000 a month, and buying a small apartment, because he has been hurt by feelings, he has never had the desire to get married, and he feels that he is living well alone.
Her source of anxiety is her parents, even if she has an idea in her heart, she will still care about her parents' attitude, and her doubt is, if she insists on being single, will she regret it in the future?
No one can say for sure about the emotional thing, I just watched "Self-Combing", and I can use this film to give some answers.
There is a girl named Fifth Sister in "Self-Combing", the fifth daughter in the family, who witnessed the life of 4 sisters.
The eldest sister married a very rich family, but her husband has died, she belongs to the "tomb keeper", she can only wear black clothes and black pants for a lifetime, and cannot go out to interact with people, it seems that there is no worry about food and clothing, and life is really hard.
The second sister's husband is a rich businessman, but the other party is often not at home, she can't stand the harsh rebuke of her mother-in-law, and the father-in-law is disrespectful for the elderly, and after less than a year of marriage, she threw herself into the well.
The third sister married a poor stonemason, the man's family is poor, usually life is very difficult, the stonemason smashed his leg when he was working, and the third sister had to take the child out to beg.
The fourth sister married a farmer, the harvest determines the quality of life, in the face of drought and flood disasters, the family can not eat enough, she is less than 30 years old and sick.
The life of the 4 sisters after marriage has made the fifth sister wake up, and she sometimes wonders why she must marry, she can spin yarn, and she can completely support herself.
The fifth sister told her parents about her decision, and her parents agreed, and the family held a ceremony for her, with the intention of telling everyone that the fifth sister would not marry again, which was also known as "self-combing girl".
Although she had the courage to be independent, few people accepted it at that time, and the self-combing girl could not live with her parents, and the family built a house for the fifth sister in the village, named "Aunt House", she could only live in this house, at the same time, the opposite sex could not be near this house.
Later, some girls in the village also followed suit, and some girls would run to the house of the fifth sister to avoid the unwilling marriage, and the house of the fifth sister became a symbol of independence.
Some women will spin yarn, some women will apply for employment as nannies, and some people will cross the ocean to work in Southeast Asia.
Most women who can make the choice of not marrying can bear hardships and stand hard work and have the ability to earn income, after all, economic independence is the bottom line.
Tell a story around me.
The eldest aunt is 65 years old, has never been married in her life, and the photos of her when she was young look beautiful, what is the reason that led her to make the choice to be single?
After chatting with the aunt, she learned that the aunt had also been in love when she was young, and she talked to a guy in the village for 2 years, but her parents objected because the boy's mother had a bad temper and there was a conflict between the fathers.
The aunt and the boy discussed, the two took advantage of the night to run to the field together, and when the family was officially established, the parents naturally could not stop it.
The boy agreed, and the aunt also packed up the package, waited at the agreed place for a night, did not wait for the boy, and when it was almost dawn, she had to return home, and the next day she learned that the boy was betrothed.
That incident hit the aunt very hard, and since then, she has gone to her aunt's house in a foreign country to learn tailoring, and later opened her own shop, and also has a stable income.
At the age of 30, I met a man who was touched by her, and the man also opened a shop, as long as she encountered difficulties, he would take the initiative to come to help and confess his love to her.
The aunt originally wanted to agree, and when the other party was in difficulty, she lent out ten thousand yuan, but she learned a news that was difficult for her to accept, the man had a wife in his hometown, and he was not single.
These two loves, will hurt the aunt thoroughly, she will no longer fall in love, but never oppose the junior to fall in love, in her words: "Love can not be sought, I am unlucky, but you still have to be brave to try." ”
Once I asked her if she regretted it?
She smiled lightly and replied: "When I was 50 years old, I had some anxiety, worried that I was too lonely in my old age, and now I want to worry more, this is not, my old age is also very good." ”
Yes, the aunt's life is free, she has enough pension money, and she likes things, go to the model step in the morning, paint at home at noon, and make a few favorite dishes in the evening to reward herself.
She said that worrying about loneliness is superfluous, as long as you have a goal for life, every day is fulfilled, as long as you don't waste time in life, there is nothing to regret.
I have to say that she lives a transparent life, but also arranges her life very well, she longs for love, she has also been deeply hurt by love, and it is also a fortunate thing to be able to find a life that suits herself.
Someone asked, "If everyone doesn't get married, what will the world be like?" ”
There is a high praise below: "Everyone's choice is different, some people like to live alone, some people like to have both children, there is no unified standard, this question is not true." ”
Yes, there are always people who like to worry about the sky, worried that single people will affect the development of the times, in fact, it is completely unnecessary, everyone has independent values and ways of thinking, will live according to their own ideas, and it is impossible to choose to be single.
As Yang Liping said: "Some people come to the world to experience, some people come to the world to pass on the generations, some people to watch, I came to the world to see how a tree grows, how white clouds float, how the river flows." ”
There are no two identical leaves, and there are no two identical people.
We come into the world and live according to our own ideas, without worrying about what others think, there is no absolute right or wrong, just follow the heart.
There is a saying in "Self-Combing Girl": "I want to be free like a bird, and I can fly wherever I like." ”
Although they are already white-haired, they are full of love for life, and they work hard every day, not attached to men, and do not have to experience the contradictions of their aunts.
They still love life after seeing through the truth of love, and self-reliance, such women may have a bit of a bitter life, but the mood is very comfortable.
Today's topic: Do you think women will regret not getting married for the rest of their lives?