01.
When brushing Weibo, I saw such a topic: Would you mind if the object has lived with your ex?
This topic is sensitive.
If you don't talk about it, the obstacles in your heart can't pass.
After talking, I am afraid that it has become a hurdle.
For example, this submitted netizen temporarily called him a small a.
Last year, Xiao A talked about a girlfriend, and now the relationship between the two has developed to the stage of talking about marriage. But at this moment, Xiao A found that in his heart, he had a mustard for his girlfriend.
This mustard is the girlfriend's past——
Before Xiao A, the girlfriend had been in love several times and had also lived together.
This is nothing for Xiao A, after all, they are all people in their twenties, who has not yet clicked on it?
What really made him mind was that his girlfriend didn't intend to give up her past:
In her photo album, she still retains intimate love photos with her ex-boyfriend;
When in love, he will often talk about the process of falling in love with his ex-boyfriend with Xiao A, and will also turn out various photos to tell Xiao A that this is the first few boyfriends;
When there is an argument, the first thing to think about is not to reconcile, but to show off the photo of the ex-boyfriend again, and even the photo of the hotel opening the room;
......
For this, Little A struggled several times.
He constantly comforted himself that he must be able to accept his girlfriend's past, but his girlfriend's intensified behavior made him build a dike again and again, and collapsed again and again.
Xiao A clearly knew that this hurdle, he and she could not go over:
"Maybe we'll eventually reconcile, but the knot may not go away for a long time."
Not only does it not fade.
Sometimes, it also faintly hurts.
02.
After the submission was released, many netizens also expressed their views.
Some people say that the reason why the girlfriend will do this kind of behavior is that she does not love:
"Normal people just mention that they have a boyfriend, but often show it to the current one, either the brain is in the water, or it is deliberately disgusting."
Some people say that it is not cohabitation that mind:
"I can't talk about it, I can only regret that I didn't spend that time with me."
Others say, very mindfully:
"Of course, mind, women who lived together before marriage are not as good as those who are married twice, and anyone else doesn't know?"
I would like to say that the problem between Xiao A and his girlfriend is not whether he minds living together before marriage, but in his girlfriend's provocative and ostentatious behavior.
Whether it is love or not love, what the girlfriend does is to tell Xiao A: she does not intend to, nor does she want to let the past turn the page.
At this point, there is no doubt that it is the girlfriend who is wrong.
But at the point of cohabitation before marriage, no one can say that the girlfriend is wrong. Similarly, cohabitation before marriage and second marriage should not be equated, let alone classified as outliers.
However, if we look to reality, we will find that there are many people who like to confuse them.
There is such a topic on Zhihu: how do you think that a girlfriend has lived with an ex?
A netizen replied bluntly that there is no difference between cohabitation and second marriage, and even worse than second marriage.
In his words, divorce can be checked, cohabitation has nowhere to be found:
"Even if you only have sex twice a week, there are 96 times, and two years is 192 times, which is only the case of living with a man." If you live together many times as a marriage, it is two marriages, three marriages and four marriages, but in the end, when she marries you, she is asked for the first marriage. ”
Obviously, this netizen is very calculating.
In his view, whether it is cohabitation or so-called marriage, it is a business. And in this business, he could not eat any losses.
Because of this, in order to avoid losses, he began to stigmatize cohabitation and demean the second-married woman.
For such people, I just want to say:
Ignorant, ignorant, and unaware.
03.
Cohabitation before marriage is for the purpose of trial marriage.
Divorce and remarriage, for happiness.
Every choice is because of respect for marriage, respect for feelings, and should not be discriminated against.
In the variety show "90 Marriage Agency", female guest Yang Xinyuan asked the guests: Do you think you should live together before marriage?
In this regard, many male guests chose to be.
Male guest Xiong Zhanghui believes that cohabitation before marriage is to prepare for marriage:
"Before the ceremony, I was ready, it was a state after marriage, and I hope it is such a state."
Another male guest, Huang Bin, agreed:
"I think you need to make a transition, just live together to find each other's shortcomings, just if one day, really even the other party's shortcomings, you can accept, can accept him, I think it is possible to enter the marriage step." 」
Hearing the answers of several guests, the host Meng Fei added:
"Cohabitation is, cooking taste you love to eat ah, how much to snor at night, how many degrees of air conditioning in the summer, this is very important." You don't live together, you don't know. ”
Deeply.
Living together before marriage, what is the test?
Trying to get married is actually a seemingly insignificant little thing.
We all say that married life is an occasional storm and snow moon, a long period of chai rice oil and salt.
The sour, sweet and bitter hidden in it, separated by distance, is not real. Only by living together and getting closer can we taste the most authentic taste.
04.
People who dare to live together before marriage are very courageous.
People who dare to come out of a failed premarital cohabitation have more courage.
Everyone who chooses to live together before marriage has thought about going to the end with each other.
But who knows, it really won't come to the end?
Fortunately, as Kotaro Isaka said:
"It's pointless to obsess over the past, and it's dangerous to keep looking in the rearview mirror, and there will be a traffic accident." When driving must and intently look in the direction of progress. The road that has been traveled, just look back from time to time. ”
Failed cohabitation is like a scenery whizzing through the rearview mirror.
Look at it for a while, you can't look at it for a lifetime.
Unfortunately, you in the driver's seat turn a blind eye; he in the driver's seat tries to get you to stop in the non-parking area.
I have to say that cohabitation before marriage is indeed a touchstone of feelings.
It can test both the predecessor and the current.
If a person always clings to your past, it can only mean that he does not love you enough.
Just like under the topic of "cohabitation before marriage", a netizen said:
"Only people who particularly like and don't like enough, meet people who are particularly special likes, and don't care about anything. I don't care about his past, I just want to be together for the rest of my life. ”
Only those who have loved deeply will understand:
People who truly love you only talk about the rest of their lives, not the past.