In this era of fast food, how to talk about love is the biggest problem that plagues most men and women. Cortana has opened two series of articles, Love Strategies and Marriage Myths, to explain a series of problems and principles in love and marriage.
Since we are talking about love, we must start from the beginning of love. Usually at first, whether it is a man chasing a woman or a woman chasing a man, it must be that one party has offered it, and after the other party has considered and agreed, the two have begun to enter the process of love. In the process of pursuit, material must be a part, and the other part is actually an examination of the other party's sincerity and character.
But now too many people take the test of sincerity, to materialize the so-called sincerity, and finally bring a lot of regrets and regrets to their emotional path.
Lin Xiaoli is also a victim of the phrase "if you love you, you will be willing to spend money for you".
--"The number you dialed cannot be connected for the time being, please dial it later" When Lin Xiaoli's mobile phone received such a reply for the tenth time, her heart began to regret it. Regret that he wants to be so willful, in order to have face in front of his girlfriend, he forced his boyfriend Cheng Ruixin to buy a fragrant grandmother's bag.
Back half a year ago, 26-year-old Lin Xiaoli and 29-year-old Cheng Ruixin met during a parent company team building. But the lively and cheerful Lin Xiaoli's good appearance and figure deeply touched Cheng Ruixin's heart. Under the sincere and active pursuit of Cheng Ruixin, the two began formal exchanges.
Lin Xiaoli is a second-tier city, and the conditions at home are average, but she feels that her six-point appearance and body with five-point look are more than enough for Cheng Ruixin, a science and engineering man.
It is also because Cheng Ruixin has almost responded to Lin Xiaoli's requirements since the beginning of love, and lin Xiaoli's appetite is getting bigger and bigger. Cheng Ruixin is engaged in IT work, working against the computer database for more than ten hours a day, but the relative return is also high. And Lin Xiaoli is just a front desk of their company's subsidiaries, with a monthly salary of five or six thousand.
But Lin Xiaoli in shanghai in this flower world, seeing that some of the little sisters around her who are not as good as themselves have begun to buy a variety of brand-name cosmetics and brand-name bags, Lin Xiaoli is not willing to show weakness in swiping the card to follow the trend, before she and Cheng Ruixin fell in love, it was almost moonlight, living by swiping credit cards.
After knowing Cheng Ruixin, Cheng Ruixin's generous shot allowed Lin Xiaoli to enjoy the envious eyes of her girlfriend. Gradually, she began to be dissatisfied with the gifts that Cheng Ruixin took the initiative to buy for her, but from time to time put forward higher requirements.
Although Cheng Ruixin has a lot of income, but he also has his own arrangements and plans, Cheng Ruixin's family is a native of Shanghai, because when he reaches the marriageable age, the family has prepared a wedding room for him, but the marriage room is an old-fashioned staircase room of more than twenty years and nearly thirty years, and the sound insulation of the house is very bad, so Cheng Ruixin is interested in a new house in the same area, so it needs to make up a large difference.
So when he and Lin Xiaoli established a relationship, Cheng Ruixin began to open up and reduce expenditure in a planned way, and soon after, he sold the old house plus his own savings, and the insufficient part took out a loan from the bank and bought the new house he wanted. And it was precisely at this time that Lin Xiaoli proposed that she was interested in a new limited edition bag of the season by Xiang Grandma, and Cheng Ruixin immediately told Lin Xiaoli about her difficulties, and said that she would definitely supply Lin Xiaoli after the economy eased.
However, Lin Xiaoli was furious because Cheng Ruixin refused his request for the first time, and threatened to break up, saying that if Cheng Ruixin did not buy this bag, he would break up immediately. The meeting was very unpleasant, and Cheng Ruixin expressed the hope that Lin Xiaoli could seriously consider it before making a decision, so he sent Lin Xiaoli back to the house she rented.
After several times Cheng Ruixin wanted to continue to communicate with Lin Xiaoli, lin Xiaoli was blocked out of the door on the grounds that lin Xiaoli did not buy a bag and broke up without saying anything, seeing that Lin Xiaoli was so tough, Cheng Ruixin could only be discouraged. On the day before the Qixi Festival, Cheng Ruixin finally tried fruitlessly, and finally replied in WeChat to agree to break up, and blocked all of Lin Xiaoli's contact information. At this time, Lin Xiaoli was still secretly proud that all this was Cheng Ruixin's means, and when it came to Qixi, Cheng Ruixin would still be the same as before, offering her bag with both hands and asking for her forgiveness.
Unfortunately, this time Lin Xiaoli's wishful thinking failed, Cheng Ruixin was already determined to break up, and in the end, Lin Xiaoli was not able to save Cheng Ruixin's hurt heart.
In fact, Xiaona wants to say about this: such a situation is very common in today's society. I've heard too many people tell me that a man who is willing to spend money on you may not necessarily love you, but a man who doesn't spend money on you certainly doesn't love you. This sentence is also not right, Xiaona wants to say two principles to men and women in love:
First, love is based on the willingness of both parties to establish an emotional connection, not money and material
I don't know when it started, spending money and love are equated, I can only say that in some cases men are willing to spend money on their girlfriends or wives, there is indeed a part of the emotional factor, but as far as the situation in the article is concerned, Cheng Ruixin mistakenly took buying gifts as falling in love at the beginning.
In fact, I want to tell all men and women in love that it is about feelings, not money and gifts, and that properly expressing emotions with substances does help the further development of emotions. But to treat money and material things as the whole of love is terrible.
Second, no matter how good the feelings of both parties in love, they must also maintain a part of independence;
No one opens a bank, there will always be such and such unexpected situations, once a similar situation occurs in this article, what do you take to support your love and marriage? Although it is said that love without money is like a scattered sand, and when the wind blows, it will disappear; but only money is not called love, it is called transaction.
So the second step of the love strategy, I want to say that talking about love is about feelings, not money and gifts. Love without money is a mess, and love with only money is not love, but transaction!
Finally, I hope that all lovers in the world can eventually become dependents!